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So, I’m six-and-something months pregnant, and riding public transit has been a challenge since the beginning of my pregnancy. But, being the good little sociologist that I am, I’ve tried to make a game of it.
Early in my pregnancy, I wasn’t showing yet, but I was stricken by incredible nausea and vertigo, so standing up on transit was just not an option. You wouldn’t believe the stinkeye people will give you — especially on Muni — when you insist on a seat, especially in the “disabled, elderly and pregnant people” area. Meanwhile, BART was full of foul-smelling people eating foul-smelling food that offended my hormonally sensitive nose and made me want to hurl.
Now that I’m showing, something even more interesting is happening. On Muni, people will give up their seats for me, especially men under the age of 50. This happens without my having to ask.
On BART, not only do I have to ask entirely healthy-looking people whether they’ll give me their seat in the “disabled, elderly and pregnant people” areas — when all other seats are full — but I have had multiple people barge past me in the doorways to get to those empty seats before I do.
I haven’t developed any great theories regarding why Muni passengers, who are not typically considered paragons of etiquette, are so much more considerate in this area than their BART bretheren. Devin thinks it’s because BART environs encourage a kind of spaced-outedness that makes you ignore your fellow passengers. I tend to think it’s because BART cars don’t have an official driver or other authoritarian watching you. Either way, it’s one instance in which a Muni trek is often more pleasant.
– Beth W.
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I’m pretty sure that despite your quotes, the “disabled, elderly and pregnant people” signs don’t actually include a reference to the pregnant. Maybe some do, but I haven’t seen one. (I think they say “seniors and disabled persons” on Muni.)
Regardless, over the 5 years or so that I’ve been riding Muni and BART full time (mostly Muni), I’ve noticed the same thing. I think the two major contributing factors are that 1) BART riders are generally taking longer trips, so standing for someone else would mean standing longer (maybe much longer), and 2) that there are many more seats on a BART train than a Muni bus or train, so people may just assume they needn’t give up their seat on BART, since there must be an open seat somewhere else.
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@ Rick: Good points, but my god, not giving up your seat for anyone who clearly needs or could use it more than you is, simply, lame. I don’t care how long you’re riding, or how many other seats there are. If there are other seats, get your capable ass up and go sit in one. Otherwise, bear the “burden” of standing, and hop to it. This goes for when disabled and elderly people, and pregnant women need the seat. Sorry, but I couldn’t give a shit what a blue sign says. Decency and courtesy should rule the day.
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Rick: You’re right, the signs don’t say “pregnancy,” but the station announcements in BART absolutely tell riders to keep those seats clear for pregnant folks as well as seniors and the disabled. Funny how BART riders, after being told, still don’t show the courtesy — while Muni riders, without having to be told, do show it.
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We couldn’t agree more!
Etiquette Rule #4 of Muni Manners: Offer Your Seat to Others. That means, if you are young or able-bodied, give up your seat to someone who isn’t. Not all disabilities are obvious – including early stages of pregnancy, which can often be the most uncomfortable. So, if someone asks for a seat, be a hero.
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Interesting. When I was pregnant people very rarely offered me a seat on MUNI, perhaps only once. And despite all the people who complain about kids on MUNI, people have often offered me and my son a seat.
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@Jeff Yeah, I didn’t mean people were justified. Just trying to explain what the thinking might be.
I’ve asked people to stand on behalf of other riders who obviously needed a seat. People do usually get up when asked, and I just ignore any dirty looks.
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@ Rick: Sorry if my comment above sounds like it was directed at you. I gave you the benefit of the doubt when I read your comment. Just wanted to go on record as being totally opposed to the line of thinking you describe. It’s odd how basic decency is sometimes viewed as such an anomaly. Making everyone courteous and kind to others is one of my “If I could have three wishes” wishes.
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I’m glad Muni has gotten better since the early fall of ’96. I will never forget jumping the 38 to Kaiser from Stockton St. and being almost 8 months pregnant having to pole hang over some guy in the front single seat section and having him give me this utter look of disgust because my totally obvious pregnancy was invading his space. Never once in ’96 was I ever offered a seat on MUNI while pregnant. Those days it was the N to work and the 38 to Kaiser…
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