Muni operators — love ‘em or leave ‘em. We riders have our fair share of complaints, some valid, about the way our brothers and sisters in brown do the driving of the bus. Too fast, too slow, too jerky, too much attitude. What we often fail to realizeis the fact that these driverly dispositions come from a very human place, intentionally or not. Drivers are people, too. And next time you get pissed off at one, especially because you’re late to work, remember that this driver is already on the clock.
This week’s Muni Mind Reader peers behind the frontal lobes of our best friends, without whom, really, think about it, there would be no Muni. Ahem.
Good morning everyone, and welcome aboard!
Now that’s right, just step on up, and kindly move to the back. Oh come now, don’t look at me that way, there is plenty of room in the back. Plenty! I am looking in my rear-view and I see acres and acres of room, so please passengers, just kindly push back. I said puuush back.
Okay! Is everybody in? I can’t close those back doors until everyone is off the stairs. Everyone up? Yes? Ha! YES! I guess they all are. And heeeeeere we go. I’m just going to ease my foot off the break, check both ways (twice), and…
Wait a minute. Everyone just hold on to their horses. I know, I know you have no idea why I stopped at a green light, so let me explain.
Yes, I see what you see: a green light at the bottom of that hill. And I am sure if I gave this bad boy a little more gas, we’d breeze right through it, but, I don’t know, green lights sure can make me nervous. Do they make any of you nervous? See, there’s the possibility I’ll reach that light and it’ll be okay. But there’s also a really good chance, maybe even a 50 percent chance and above, that I’ll reach that light and it’ll turn yellow, and I’ll have run a yellow light. So, why don’t we just hang out here for a little bit and I’ll get the coach moving once all the colors have run their cycle.
Stop yelling at me people! This is for your safety. And would you look at that, it’s only been a couple of minutes, the light is definitely green again and away…we…go!
How am I not so stressed-out this early in the morning? You’re wondering how can I be so calm when you’re tearing your hair out because three buses have already passed you by and you’re already 15 minutes late for that 8:30 a.m. meeting. And I can understand that. I guess in some respects, I’m already at my job, so I don’t really relate to your level of stress.
“That’s why I’m eeeeassssay. I’m easy like Sunday morning….” But I’m not easy when it comes to checking transfers! No siree! I am a proud employee of San Francisco Muni and we take our jobs very seriously. Now let me take a really good look at that wad of paper you are just carelessly waving in my face.
As a matter of fact, I don’t care if there’s a line of 30 people behind you. Trust me, everyone will get on the bus even if I have to analyze every grain of paper in this transfer. BUT NOT THROUGH THE BACK DOOR! Now please people, act civilized, and walk your way single-file through the front of the coach, have your Fast Pass and transfers out and available for view. Just because you’ve now been on the bus 20 minutes and we’ve only managed to clear three stops doesn’t mean we’re going to bend the rules or start getting all careless.
My goodnes, everyone is just so grumpy this morning. Why is everyone so grumpy? The only place you are rushing off to this morning is work, and who really wants to get to work? Tee hee. Except me that is. And away…we…go!!! Oh! Green light, hold on!
Check back next Friday for the next insightful installment of Tiffany Maleshefski’s Muni Mind Reader.
Photo by Flickr user Rumspringa.
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Oh, Muni Mind Reader. Thanks for doing your part to make it all so real. But I still have no sympathy for this type of driver. Yes, safety is high on the priority list for operators, but so is, you know, driving.
Still, the Sunday Driver will always win in a head-to-head with Mr. or Mrs. pedal-tapper. I’m sitting here at a computer, in a building, far from the torture, yet I’m still shaking with rage at that type of operator!
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Oh my gosh…that was my experience on the 71 yesterday — I wanted to go buy a gun.
But yes — I am not sure that I necessarily have much sympathy for this guy either ;) I definitely have to zen out when I freakin’ sprinted from my house to catch the 21 (since lord knows the next one isn’t coming for another million minutes), only to know it’d have been better to walk!
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Oh, or the BRAKE SLAMMER. Honestly, is it so much to ask that I not get whiplash on my way downtown?
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The other day on an outbound 29, early, bus was fairly packed – pulled up to a stop and the DRIVER opened the back door. A few people, thinking this implied that he was letting passengers on the back to speed up the process, did just that. Doors close. Doors open. Driver gets out the front, comes around to the back, and makes them get off. They think, ok, we’ll go through the front since we have passes… but no. The driver doesn’t allow them on the bus and drives away.
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jeff Reply:
May 23rd, 2009 at 12:21 pm
holy crap! driver retribution for perfectly reasonable behavior! REPORT!
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