Photo by Flickr user ClO0over
Find an empty seat. Sit down. Relax. Then have your mellow totally harshed by this renegade: The gum-chomper. This week, Tiffany (aka: Muni Mind Reader) ventures into the thought-patterns of the magnificent Muni masticator, and brings us the following report.
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. There’s really nothing like a good piece of gum, is there? Yummy! Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. Some people like gum because it freshens up their breath. Or if you’re watching your weight, you can get one of those fruity flavors that can fool you into thinking you had a high-caloric treat.
I like gum because it puts me into this Zen-like mode where the hustle and bustle of the crazy world around me, especially on the bus, just melts away.
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp. I get so mesmerized by my own chewing that sometimes I even forget I’m chewing. I just get into this zone where it’s almost like the sound of my mouth clacking together (the gum hitting my top set of molars before dropping to get mashed up by my bottom set, with my mouth opening and closing widely all the while) is more akin to my heart beating than chewing. And there are tooootally times when the rhythm of chewing matches my moods.
When I’m anxious, it’s like chompchompchompchomp. Fast and furious!! This happens a lot, say, when I’m having a really heated phone call and I’m really upset with the person on the other line or I have something pretty intense I need to tell them. So, I might not be talking, but you can still tell I’m M-A-D as hell because my mouth is going chompchompchompchomp. AND, if I’ve been yelling, then it’s like CHOMPCHOMPCHOMPCHOMP.
Then there are times where my gum works to soothe my soul.
It’s especially moving when it’s a quiet afternoon, the bus is empty, everyone has a seat, and you can just feel the positive energy taking over. That’s when I get pensive, thinking about the world and whatnot, and my mouth follows suit: chomp….chomp….chomp…………chomp.
Sometimes, I’ll miss a beat and people start turning around worried that the chomping has stopped, and then once I start up, everyone holds their stare for just a bit longer, making sure I’m not faking it, and then I can see them slowly turn back around and knock their head against the window in relief.
Don’t worry. As long as there is gum and as long as I have a mouth, you can guarantee that we’ll be on the bus together, sharing the magic that can only come from someone chewing loudly with their mouth open. Until then, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp….
Check back next Friday to learn more about what lurks behind the foreheads of your fellow Muni passenger.
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ok, call me a dirty old man but a bubble was the last thing i thought that was on her lips.
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eugenia Reply:
August 10th, 2009 at 1:05 am
Don’t worry, I thought it too and I’m a girl.
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jeff Reply:
August 10th, 2009 at 9:17 am
sorry about the confusion, guys. but you know what they say: popped bubbles on probably female lips sell ;)
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