Ingredients:
1 bag potato chips
1 jar Tostitos® brand Salsa Con Queso™ dip
1 tin sardines in oil
1 bag Skittles®, Fun Size™
Preparation:
Bring ingredients aboard any mid-Saturday 23-Monterey bus. For best results, board through back door without paying fare; take advantage of extra blind spots in new hybrid bus design to avoid scrutiny of driver. Take desirable seat in the front of the upper section, with good views, easy access to door. Be sure to take up both seats, even if you’re preparing your picnic lunch for just yourself.
Struggle to open Salsa Con Queso™ dip. Fail, owing to tight seal on lid. Smash bottom of jar on convenient grab rail until contents until it shears off, leasing cheese dip accessible.
Open bag of potato chips. Crumble a generous handful onto seat, sprinkling Salsa Con Queso™ to taste. Scoop out remaining Salsa Con Queso™ with remaining chips, alternating bites with sardines.
Finish presentation with Skittles®; leave bag on crumbled chip/dip covered seat, arranging so as to emphasize color and texture contrasts.
When finished, save preparation time on leftovers by drizzling remaining oil from sardine tin on floor; spread into patterns with bottom of shoe.
Serves one. Or two, if dainty.
Related posts:
There are, of course, many variations on this recipe. The dip, flavor of chip, and type of candy can all be substituted. The can of sardines is integral, though, methinks.
If we get enough of these Muni Recipes, we’ll approach Chronicle or some other publisher for a book deal. Count on it.
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It needs some suggestions for drink pairing.
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You know, hobos have whole menus of portable transit food. Peanut butter. Ripple wine. But the sardines are actually very key, Jeff’s right.
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I think Devin should be our new Muni Recipes contributor.
It’s all so cringe, but so very, very real.
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It’s not even an issue of blind spots. I’ve never once seen a driver admonish a passenger for forbidden behavior. People eating an entire bucket of fried chicken and plenty of people playing music quite loudly (and in at least one case getting into an argument with other riders about it) while the driver just sat there and did nothing.
I’ve seen fifteen minute driver changes while in the middle of a route (yeah, we didn’t really need to get anywhere, just take as long as you need) and a driver letting the back door bang open while talking to her friend at the front (when we finally stopped it was only because some other riders mentioned it and she then spent another 15 minutes on the radio, giving the door a cursory glance and then not trying what she was told to fix it before forcing us all off the bus), but is it really so hard to ask someone to just turn their music down?
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