An ode (of sorts) to bus drivers 11.06.09
Photo by Flickr user Rubin 110
The righteous folk over at People Who Deserve It have unearthed their screed against what they dub Aggressively Anal Bus Driver. A choice cut of meat:
How about cutting the peeps a little slack Aggressively Anal Bus Driver? Stop yelling at people for paying in quarters, or coming near the yellow line, or for not being able to move any further into the armpit of the diabetic Hare Krishna. How about you just suffer in silence like the rest of us? Sound good?
Muni Diaries loves a diligent Muni driver as much as the next person. But we all know that some people in all walks of life end up taking their jobs a little too literally, and wind up coming across as just this type of jackass.
That said, isn’t it about time we all restore honor and dignity into the system with a “Thank you” when we deboard? Just sayin’.
More Hate for Fare Inspectors than for DPT? 11.05.09
Photo by Flickr user numlok™
We’ve gotten more than a few posts and pieces of mail complaining about fare inspectors. There was the so-called shaved-head fare inspector from hell. There was another story of a rider dumping her purse in an attempt to locate her proof of payment to the same shaved-head fare inspector from hell.
And today, a post from Muni rider Diq, who really stuck it to the man seems to think he had a clever idea for how to piss off fare inspectors:
As I approached the crowd of officers and the teenager, a clever idea came to my mind. I still had to get rid of October Fast Pass, and I already had my November pass. So I took out my October pass and just flicked it at the officer as I walked by without stopping. It didn’t hit him. It just flipped up in the air and zipped toward the ground.
Genius, that.
What we’re wondering is this: Why do fare-paying, Fast Pass-holding riders have such disdain for fare inspectors? You’re legit, eh? In our experience, it takes a total of about 2-point-something seconds to show your proof of payment. If many of us have Fast Passes and aren’t boarding at the back door, why do people hate fare inspectors so much? Are they the new DPT? Why the fuss?
Just off the top of our head, here are some relevant news stories:
Muni finds almost 10 percent cheat fares (SFGate)
Fare evaders cost Muni $19 million a year (Examiner)
Muni’s mid-year $45 million deficit (Streetsblog SF)
Now, we’re not necessarily here to argue how to fix Muni’s budget deficit. We’re simply pointing out that there is one, and that perhaps it’s only fitting that the agency would want to crack down on scofflaws when said scofflaws cost the system (and by extension, us) at least $19 million in missed fares.
Help us out here: Why do you hate fare inspectors?
My own personal N-Judah 11.05.09
Photo by Flickr user * Yaya
A few weeks ago I was out with some coworkers watching Monday Night Football at the Royal Exchange. I take CalTrain home these days, so I decided to leave about 8 PM so I could be sure to catch the 8:40 train. I walked over to the Embarcadero station and grabbed an inbound N-Judah, right on schedule. It was a two-car train but there was absolutely no one else in my car (and hence no visual cues that the end of the line had been reached… but I’m getting ahead of myself here).
Having had a couple beers and being completely immersed in playing Word Warp on my phone, I completely failed to notice that we’d passed the CalTrain stop — the last stop on the line. I glanced up from my phone, and upon seeing the Academy of Art University sign outside the window, I realized I’d made a pretty big mistake. I started having visions of being trapped on the train for hours with nothing but a few sticks of gum and my phone to amuse myself. Luckily, the steps came down and the doors opened and, momentarily relieved, I walked out into the rail yard under the I-280 entrance ramp. I looked back up the tracks and could see the inviting glow of the CalTrain station only a few blocks away so I decided I could just walk up the tracks, being very vigilant of course, and then get over to a sidewalk as soon as I could. Before I could do that, however, a MUNI driver walked around the back of the train I had just gotten off of and started fiddling with her keys in the door of another train next to it.
“Excuse me! I’m so sorry, but I wasn’t paying attention and I accidentally missed the last stop and I was wondering if it’s okay to just walk up the tracks back to the station?” I asked her, making gestures indicating what a complete idiot I felt like.
“What? No! You absolutely cannot walk on the tracks! That’s very dangerous,” she responded in a fairly harsh tone.
“Oh… well, how do I get out of here then?”
In a much softer tone, she replied, “Well, come here, I’ll just give you a ride in this train back to the station,” and opened the doors to the train.
Gratefully, I clambered into the train and sat in the seat closest to the driver’s cab as she slowly drove the train back to the 4th and King stop. As we got near the platform she said, “Now, I’m just going to let you off way back here so these people waiting on the platform don’t think I’m in service.” Thanking her and apologizing profusely, I walked off the train. I meant to ask her what her driver number was so I could send in a report to her supervisor extolling her excellent customer service, but I was so ecstatic at having my own personal MUNI train that I forgot.
So, to the short-haired, petite African-American N-Judah driver last Monday night, thanks a million! You’ve restored my faith in MUNI.
M-car Grinds the Lip at Van Ness Station 11.04.09
This just in from Muni rider Christopher:
I was riding an M-car inbound today just around 2:30 PM. There was a strange K-KLAK sound of metal-on-metal between Church and Van Ness — like the streetcar had run over something on the tracks.
This being Muni, I thought nothing of it.
But as we arrived at Van Ness, the same noise repeated as the the streetcar entered the station. The M-car came to an ordinary halt, and the driver calmly asked everyone to disembark. That was when I noticed the front streetcar’s left main door was jammed open.
School-kids playing hooky flashed V-for-victory signs for their friends’ digital cameras in front of the huge side panel of the streetcar that was now folded unnaturally above the lip of the station’s boarding platform.
However it had come undone enough to impact whatever flipped it over the platform’s edge, the lock on the side of the streetcar had been torn through right through the panel.
To his credit, the Muni driver kept the situation mellow and casual.
I exited to the street and legged it to the 14 so as to avoid the crowd on the F-car.
All images by Christopher Rogers
But I bet he paid the phone bill 11.04.09
Photo by Flickr user Thomas Hawk
How not to resist arrest, from the SFPD Ingleside Station chief’s daily report:
6:05 pm Mission @ 30th Public Transit Crimes
Officers Padilla and Barajas were riding the bus in uniform. The officers
were conducting a “Proof of payment inspection”. The officers came upon a
subject that did not have proof of payment. The subject was asked to exit
the bus and complied. Once outside the officers began to issue a citation.
The subject ignored the officers and got on his phone. The officers asked
the subject for the information they needed, but he continued to ignore
them and remained on the phone. The officers took the phone and cuffed the
subject. The subject was very cooperative from this point on and was cited
at the scene. Report number 091119737
Catch me if you can 11.04.09
Photo by Flickr user Octoferret
So a few weeks ago, I’m waiting for whichever Mission bus shows up first at Mission and 30th. The 14 and 49 show up simultaneously, as they seem to like to. The lead bus, the 14, is super packed, so I board the trailing 49. As I sit down, I notice a harried girl and her boyfriend looking sullen and distraught at the bus stop outside: unlike me, who just wanted a ride up Mission St, they specifically needed that 14. And perhaps because it was super packed or because they were slowed by the luggage they carried, they missed it. My 49 driver notices their distress and starts shouting – SHOUTING – at them, “Come on, come on, get on! Get on, we’ll catch it! I’ll catch him!” Only, she is inside a bus made of steel and windows, and they are outside of it, so they don’t hear her shouts.
So she starts banging on her horn, continuing to scream at them. Alarmed yet curious, they board the bus. “Oh, I’ll catch him, alright. I’ll show him who’s boss!” It’s at this point, I swear, that she excitedly rubs her hands together. She has been waiting for this moment for weeks, it seems. She is going to catch their bus.
After jerkily gunning the bus out of the stop, the driver continues to loudly narrate this journey – eg, “Think you can outrun me?! I’ll show what I’ve got…” – while careening wildly up the street, skipping stops. I honestly don’t think anyone cared; they seemed pretty up for this adventure, which I sadly don’t have a conclusion for because I got off before they did. Though I can easily say this was the fastest ride I’ve ever taken up Mission — on the interminable 49, no less.
Muni Recipes: Picnic Lunch a la 23 11.03.09
Ingredients:
1 bag potato chips
1 jar Tostitos® brand Salsa Con Queso™ dip
1 tin sardines in oil
1 bag Skittles®, Fun Size™
Preparation:
Bring ingredients aboard any mid-Saturday 23-Monterey bus. For best results, board through back door without paying fare; take advantage of extra blind spots in new hybrid bus design to avoid scrutiny of driver. Take desirable seat in the front of the upper section, with good views, easy access to door. Be sure to take up both seats, even if you’re preparing your picnic lunch for just yourself.
Struggle to open Salsa Con Queso™ dip. Fail, owing to tight seal on lid. Smash bottom of jar on convenient grab rail until contents until it shears off, leasing cheese dip accessible.
Open bag of potato chips. Crumble a generous handful onto seat, sprinkling Salsa Con Queso™ to taste. Scoop out remaining Salsa Con Queso™ with remaining chips, alternating bites with sardines.
Finish presentation with Skittles®; leave bag on crumbled chip/dip covered seat, arranging so as to emphasize color and texture contrasts.
When finished, save preparation time on leftovers by drizzling remaining oil from sardine tin on floor; spread into patterns with bottom of shoe.
Serves one. Or two, if dainty.
Drag on the F Train 11.03.09
Dean Disaster and Dam. Photo by Daniel Filipkowski.
The following account was submitted by Dee Leit-ful! God, I love San Francisco …
On October 11th, a dozen drag queens and kings descended on Market Street for the Hoku Mama Swamp Drag Parade. Starting at the Powell Turnaround, we performed drag numbers to a boom box and marched around the swarms of tourists giving them an eye full of realness. We went up and down the escalators in the Westfield Mall and marched up Powell and down Turk to stop at Aunt Charlie’s.
Then the Muni fun began because we all piled onto an F train heading to the Castro at 6th and Market.
No homophobic or transphobic comments were made, probably because of the sheer number and size of us.
Then, after exiting the F Train we did a few more drag numbers at the 17th and Castro plaza, followed by the Bank of America Plaza and ending at the Edge for more booze.
Daniel Filipkowski clears the F
Dean Disaster on the F
L Ron Hubby on the F
Oxana Olsen and Daniel Filipkowski on the F
Pink Feather and Honey Mahogany on the F
Vivvianne Forevermore and Tourist on F
All photos but top by Bear Z. Bub
Recap! Muni Diaries Live! Under the Influence 11.02.09
BART train operator Kelly Beardsley shares a story about a particularly wacky night on the job. Photo by Troy Holden
Were you under the influence on Friday night somewhere other than the Make-Out Room? Man, you missed one big party, our second spoken-word event, Muni Diaries Live! Under the Influence! Much like our last show, we packed the Make-Out Room, heard some awesome stories and cheered Muni on with the incomparable Cock-T’s! And you won’t believe who showed up in a vintage transit costume. But you’ll have to read the rest to find out.
We started out the night with a sweet song dedicated to the 38-Geary by Shane Papatolicas. We found Shane almost a year ago and were glad to finally have him on stage! Then Fog City Notes’ Rachel Moore came on stage to share one of her brilliant bus reports – she even baked mini Muni cupcakes for everybody at the show.
Photo by Rachel Moore
Sonia and David told a story about their ride on the T-train that turned into a mini strip show (I told you this was good).
Photo by Troy Holden
We told you that the Cock-T’s, a burlesque cheerleading squad, were coming to the party. But I bet nothing prepared you for their misguided coach Chester!
Photo by Troy Holden
Here’s EZ Martini of the Cock-T’s working the crowd.
Photo by Troy Holden
Don’t Do It On Our Watch 11.02.09
In a few hours, you will be reading a wonderful recap of “Muni Diaries Live! Under the Influence.” There will be snazzy pictures from the party — our second spoken-word bonanza — and delicious tidbits from our awesome performers. But before we go into that, I need to get something off my chest: please do NOT say racist hateful shit on our watch.
During the audience-participation part of our spoken-word party, a woman approached us to tell a story on stage. Let me share a little behind-the-scenes information with you: Before we invite audience members up on the stage, we ask them to tell us about the story so we can vet out anything that we do not want to provide a forum for.
Off stage, this young woman had simply told us, “I want to tell a story about getting slapped on the bus.”
But when she got on stage, she told the story differently. It went something like this: she was slapped by “I guess I would call her a…black…lady.” Then she talked about a “Hispanic lady” who encouraged her to slap her back.
Maybe the storyteller didn’t realize the racial overtones in the way she told the story, but it was clear to me that the use of race here can convey stereotypes that were irrelevant to the story.
From talking to many people in the audience after the show, I know many of you felt the same way.
We’ve said this before: race is a descriptor that should be used very carefully, sparingly, and only if it is relevant in the story. I can’t emphasize enough that Muni Diaries does not tolerate hate speech, as we have been very clear in our posts and in our terms of use.
As hosts of the party and of the site, we take responsibility for having this kind of incident on our stage. And in the future we will be vetting even more carefully about the stories told at our event, as we have been doing on our site.
But as contributors, readers, or commenters of Muni Diaries, please understand that if you are using race as an irrelevant descriptor in a story, you are perpetuating serious stereotypes. It would be great if we lived in a society where the use of race is always simply factual. But that’s not reality.
At Muni Diaries we get many emails that begin with “I’m not being racist when I say this but…” or “I don’t know if you think this is racist…” If you find yourself saying something along those lines, it’s probably a good indicator to rethink what you’re about to say.
If you are going to make racist comments or use racial stereotypes to color your story, don’t bother coming to our event. Don’t write a post or make a racist joke in the comments either because we will surely delete you, block your IP, or allow other commenters to rip you a new one.
There are many things that delight me about running Muni Diaries. But like any other forum on the internet, we’ve also seen a lot of ugly sides of how people view one another. We welcome thoughtful discussions on race or any other issue that we face in our diverse city. Meanwhile, as a commenter said to me before, we can be interesting without passing along stories that perpetuate stereotypes.
- Eugenia
Ride Muni like a boss. Our Fast Pass Clipper card holders and Muni Diaries T-shirts are all on sale 
