Nick saw a passenger who decided to really mess with a Muni driver, at the risk of his own life and the safety of other passengers. All for the dispute over a $2 fare. Read on.

I had already boarded the 31BX outbound at Davisadero and Pine when a man tried to board by tagging his Clipper card, but it didn’t work. He talked to the driver about it, saying that he had just bought a monthly pass and showing him a receipt for his payment (I’m not sure which month pass he bought and loaded to his card but I suspect it was the September one, which I presume wouldn’t be valid until the next day, Sept. 1). The bus driver said that since the card clearly wasn’t working, he couldn’t let him on unless he paid the $2.

The man got irritated and repeatedly tried to board and walk to the back of the bus, but the driver called him back. After a few times the man got extremely angry, yelling and cursing at the driver and, after a few other riders expressed their disapproval of his behavior, he cursed at the rest of the bus. The driver then said that he might consider pulling the bus out of service because this man was so disruptive. The man eventually left the bus after making sure the driver and the other rides knew what he thought of them (not complimentary, to say the least).

After he left, the driver pulled away from the curb and began to turn down Pine when the man ran up from behind the right side of the bus and crossed right in front of the bus to the other side of the street! He was within two feet of the windshield. It was insane. The driver had to slam on his brakes to keep from hitting this man, and even after he pulled away he kept checking behind him to the other side of the street to make sure the guy wouldn’t do it again.

Throughout the entire ordeal, the driver calmly but firmly stood his ground on not only the non-working Clipper card, but also the guy’s inappropriate behavior. While I would not have enjoyed having to wait for another bus, it was clear that the driver’s reasoning for possibly pulling the bus out of service was for everyone’s safety, and I appreciate that. The man said he would file a complaint and took the driver’s number and route info, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he files a complaint soon. If he does, I think that it should be taken with a grain of salt because I don’t think the opinion of someone who is willing to throw themselves in front of a moving bus just to prove a point is rational or based in reality.

Strangely enough, the remaining riders developed a kind of spontaneous solidarity over the whole ordeal, laughing and chatting with one another about it (once we were far enough down Pine to know it wouldn’t happen again, of course), and many, including me, complemented the driver on his management of the situation.

The one thing that sticks out in my mind from the whole thing was when the guy loudly objected to just paying the $2 fare and sitting down, telling the driver that “it’s not about the two dollars, it’s about the principle.” It was clear to me that to the driver, it was also about principle… about the principles of doing his job, applying the rules fairly, and keeping his other passengers safe as this guy began to melt down.

Props to you, Unknown Bus Driver, whoever you are.

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Amy sends along the photo she took on the 31-Balboa this morning. We’re wondering WTF it means, too.

Check out other mysterious Muni graffiti making its way to our inbox.

• God damn loud
• Dragons or weed
• Forget

What did you see on your commute? Share it on Muni Diaries.

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Allie has a strange missed connection of sorts. Read on.

One of my friends and I have seen the same woman riding the 31 and 5 off and on since we moved to San Francisco five years ago to attend USF. We call her the French Woman. She has a French accent, seriously dislikes cell phones, and will tell you off if you are speaking or laughing too loud (by too loud, I mean louder than a whisper). Like… seriously tell you off.

Regardless of the day of the week, she will exclaim across the bus, “It is Sunday, a day of rest! Do not talk so loud!”

We hadn’t seen her in a long time until last week when we were disembarking from the 5 at Baker and she was waiting at the stop… Let’s just say I got a very stern look and lots of hand motions which insinuated that I was being loud and obnoxious. But I was outside and laughing (soberly and not super loud) around noon on a Saturday. Has anyone else run into this librarian-like French woman?

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I take the 31 towards Fillmore after I leave work. Normally, I walk the mile home but today I was particularly tired and wanted a quick trip. It was a quick ride but disgusting to say the least.

The bus was packed, smelled like like stale body odor and Cheetos, and of course, there had to be this guy. Standing up, holding on, trying not to breathe the stench in too much, I notice a man sitting down flailing about. He was shirtless with shorts and wearing sneakers with no socks. He had scabs all over his upper body and was talking to himself.

Now, I know I was not the only person praying to get the hell off that bus asap. Then, he stood up and started violently picking his nose. I mean really sticking his fingers up there. I could have barfed right then.

Soon after he took the same finger and proceeded to pick some food out of his teeth. I mean, he was getting waaay back there. THEN, to top it off, he started gagging and I truly believe he was doing this on purpose. I’ve been in the city for 5 months and this ride home was the worst I’ve experienced so far. Let me tell you, 5 minutes on the bus with someone like that will haunt you forever.

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Found this amazingly neato photo set on Flickr the other day. It was shot and assembled by Octoferret, to whom we owe a humble thank you. In light of upcoming Muni lines slated for extinction, we feel this is a moving tribute to the routes that time has forgotten.

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I’ve seen some pretty nasty stuff after riding Muni twice a day for almost two years, but what I saw a couple of days ago takes the cake.

A woman got on the 31 Balboa at Montgomery and Market with a small (about 10″ wide 5″ deep) tupperware FULL OF RATS! Not gerbils, not hamsters, but about 8 to 10 full sized rats! She looked like she might be homeless, so I doubt they were from PetSmart. I thought to myself “Shit, that’s pretty nasty, but at least she has a lid on the box”.

But then she proceeded to take the lid off and feed the rats small bits of carrots. They all started crawling all over each other, and the bus was quickly filled with the raw stank of rat pee. Afraid that we would hit a bump and she would drop the box, I quickly got off at the next stop.

Whether they involve animals or not, if you have a Muni or BART story to tell, send it our way.

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After yelling about the white man and his separation from the late James Brown, this guy pounded out rhythms, chest-high kicks and grunts from Van Ness to 35th Ave. Awesome…

This gem of a diary came to our inbox from Renee. Thanks, Renee!

Got multimedia to share with Muni rider? Email us at muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com.

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A few weeks ago, on the day of the big Prop H8 protests, I was enjoying a lovely day of shopping downtown with some friends. At the end of the day, against my better judgment, I decided to take the 31 home to the Richmond District.

I hate the 31. I’ll digress for a moment so that I can truly capture my 31 hatred:

In the evenings it’s overcrowded with loud teenagers and irritable shoppers, and both types speak really loudly on their cell phones. Plus, you get all the USF girls who are getting off of work from Abercrombie- I mean really, if you’re wearing leg warmers, it’s too cold for flip flops, dumbass.

But, I’m a true San Franciscan and being carless, driver-licenseless, and most recently moneyless (due to a stolen wallet), I took the 31 on a regular basis until I discovered rat woman. Now, I don’t know if anyone else has encountered rat woman, but once was enough for me. She’s your typical crackhead, only she carries around one of those tupperware filing boxes with a rat in it, and she takes it out ON THE BUS. I can deal with a lot of the menagerie you see on the bus — giant pitbulls, cats, even the occasional bird, but I draw the line at rats. I had not taken the 31 in months for fear that I would run into rat woman again.

So, back to the story:

On that ill-fated Prop H8 day when I decided to give the old 31 another try, we had passed through the Tenderloin without any rat sightings. Just as I was just beginning to relax on our trek through the Western Addition, out of nowhere the bus started violently shaking. I thought, damn it, this is the big one and I’m going to die on the 31 (keep in mind I had no identification due to the stolen wallet incident). I looked out the window and realized that there was no earthquake — the bus had actually been attacked by an army of children under the age of 12!

Two dozen little buggers had rushed the bus and shook it like heck until it became disconnected from the overhead electrical wires. Then the poor bus driver had to disembark and reconnect us. At first I was annoyed, but after reconsideration, I thought the army of kids were pretty funny. Several fellow riders commented on how this had happened to them several times on the 31. I was just thankful rat woman wasn’t on the bus- all that shaking and she definitely would have lost her grip on the thing.

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You didn’t hoard any seats, spit, or litter. I’m pretty sure you flashed a Fast Pass and took your seat, not refusing to move to the back of a crowded coach like so many of your fellow riders.

No, your offense was perhaps more egregious: You treated us all, a peaceful bunch of weekday morning 31-Balboa riders, to an exclusive, VIP performance of … your phone conversation with a friend. Loud and clear, thank you.

It was so wonderfully annoying, really, the way you neglected to shield your loud mouth from us. Otherwise we might not have been privy to all those glorious details of your home and social life.

Unless it’s an emergency, or you can keep it brief and quiet, put your phone away.

- Jeff

Jeff has heard his fair share of excuses.

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This morning, I was out in the upper 20s on the north side of the park, and was passively relying on the 31-Balboa, which typically arrives shortly after 9 a.m. I usually check NextBus around 8:50 or so, and this morning, it’s a damned good thing I did. Here’s what I saw:

There was no way I could make that seven-minute bus. I’m not sure the world is ready to see me ride Muni in my boxers. That, and I still had to get the dog ready.

But note the parenthetical around that 22-minutes-away bus: Masonic & Turk????

Wait, wait, before you get as confused and annoyed as I was, the 31 does this half-run somewhat frequently. My best, half-educated guess is that it’s a scheduling issue for the operators. By the time they reach that point, for some, their shift is over. But at 9 a.m.? Yes, whatever, get over it.

I’d simply like to know why my usual, standby, roughly 9:05, regular 31 that goes to the Ferry Building bus is missing from this lineup. Again, the issue is most likely schedule-related. But that’s absolute bullshit, frankly.

Right up there (and not smelling too differently) with garbage collection, police protection, and water delivery into homes, the city has a mandate, a responsibility to ensure reliable public transportation.

I’m as tired of repeating myself as you must be of reading, but I will keep harping on these instances of transit breakdown until something is done.

And here’s another thing, pretty much the main point I want to make: Without the luxury of being in my girlfriend’s apartment, or the convenience of an iPhone, I would’ve had no idea of this missing run. But this isn’t about me; it’s about those people who are out there, some at this very moment, wondering where the fuck their bus or light-rail is. What about them?

Happy riding!

- Jeff

Jeff wonders if we should all just walk.

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