Back in December, we posted what was obviously the hottest item on your holiday wish list: folding paper Muni buses. Think paper dolls, but for your favorite Muni line. An easy, fun idea from Paper Buses via Uptown Almanac.

Marjorie contacted us recently to say she made five of these babies: the 71-Haight-Noriega, the 38-Geary, the 47-Van Ness, the 15-Third St./Fisherman’s Wharf (takin’ it back old school), and the occasional Out Of Order (taking it back to, oh, now). Neato.

Print yours out today — there are a few other lines available on Paper Buses — and send us your photos and stories. Why’d you pick the line that you did?

We’re still waiting on that inaccurate paper NextBus tracker to go with it.

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Q. Who loves talking about (complaining about) the weather?

A. San Franciscans (myself included).

Remember when it started to get cold before it got warm again? In that not-so-distant past, I put up an important poll on our Muni Diaries Facebook Page:

Heater blasting on Muni is:

a) Like winning the transit lottery on these chilly days. I love it.
b) Like stewing in armpit stench. Hate hate hate.
c) Indifferent.

There were a couple votes for A. As rider Elizabeth said, “Heat is always a win as far as I’m concerned. Would rather smell some body odors than be cold.” A couple others, including rider Faern, said it depends on the type of bus. Faern cited the 22, which…OK, we can stop right there.

Still, B won by a pretty wide margin amid concerns over the B.O. hot-box. Oh, and the fact that it’s allegedly not that cold (what about the wind?! THE WIND!?) in San Francisco. I’ll be out completing my Christmas Story look, then.

Wouldn’t you know it, some recent tweets to @munidiaries side with our B voters. @missmarymary says, “Sweatiest commute ever. Dear muni, rain =/= cold,” while @janepfrank reports it reaching a million degrees on her 38-Geary.

So, which is it, A, B, or C? This is very important, you guys.

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Yesterday, we posted about attempted smartphone theft on the 38L. Today, we’ve got another report of sticky fingers on the 38. We’re ratcheting up our steely stares and vise-like grips as we speak.

So I’m on the 38 outbound on a Wednesday morning…we’re riding down the street and the bus comes to a stop to load a passenger on when we hear this loud SCREAM…It’s a lady yelling “Hey!!! No!!!!” She is fighting with a guy that snatched her purse! He takes off running and she gets off the bus and goes after him. Our bus driver drives off as if nothing happened. It was 8:05 a.m. mind you…I knew he was bad news when I laid eyes on him. During the ride he kept staring at people up and down. No one deserves to get their purse snatched on their way to work but come on, ladies! Don’t sit so far back and keep your belongings next to your body! She sat right in front of the LAST doors when there were seats everywhere even next to the 2nd doors. People please be aware of your surroundings and hold your belongings close to yourself…and avoid sitting around the 3rd doors.

Some sage advice, wherever you’re sitting: hold on to your stuff and scan your surroundings, especially if you’re near a door.

What’s happening on Muni? Share your stories.

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Whoa, Nelly. Karen has quite the 38-Geary experience to share. Let the tea steep, get comfortable, and take this one in.

Once upon a time, many years ago, I had to take the 38-Geary to and from The Richmond to downtown every day. Lots of fun things happened on that route: marriage proposals by strangers; riding in the “accordion” part totally hungover; every Tuesday was the handicapped kids’ school field trip and they always wanted to talk to me about (and touch) my clothes… Sometimes the commute was grueling, other times it was pretty entertaining, and if Instagram had been invented then I would have had a field day every day.

But one night stands out above all others, and has changed the way I think about a certain fast food restaurant – or at least the way I pronounce it.

I got on at Market and Fremont, as usual, and settled in. To get to 14th and Geary took forever, especially since the 38L had stopped running and that meant that we had to stop at every single stop. A few blocks later, a man in a filthy ski jacket with a pik and a Butterfinger wrapper in his giant afro got on and sat directly in front of me. He smelled a little ripe. “Oh great,” I thought, especially after I heard him muttering to himself. “It’s going to be a really, really long ride.” But then I leaned in closer to hear what he was saying.

“Jackinthebox. Jackinthebox. Jack. In. The. Box. Jackinthebox. Jackinthebox. Jack. In. The Box. Jackinthebox.”

Wow. He was clearly a big Jack in the Box fan, and I figured that I would be amused up until we got to the Jack in the Box at Mason, where he would get off. I listened, delightedly, as he chanted and muttered and proclaimed his favorite selections – “Teri-YAKI BOWL! Teri-YAKI Bowl? Jumbojack CHEESEBURGER!”

However, Mason St came and went, and two people had moved just to get away from him. And I realized:

He was going to the Jack in the Box on 10th and Geary. One stop before mine. YESSS!!!!!!!!!!

So the entire way, I got to hear his chanting and his monologue, which got crazier and crazier and faster and faster as the ride went on. Just past Japantown he opened the window and started throwing out stuff from his pockets; napkins and wrappers and whatever else was in there. (The Butterfinger wrapper stayed put, though.) I like to think it was confetti for the party that was ABOUT TO HAPPEN. By this time, about 3 other people had changed seats to get away from him, as he was bouncing with glee.

And then… We were in the Avenues. Just past Arguello he started getting really excited, and the chanting got louder. “Jackinthebox, jackinthebox, jack. In. The. Box. jackinthebox, JACKINTHEBOX!!!!!!!!” People gave each other looks like, “Whoa, he is cuh-raaaaaaazy,” but I refused to participate. I was on HIS SIDE. He could unleash all the crazy he wanted – he was so steadfast in his love for Jack in the Box, his intentions so pure, that he had my full support. (And my undying love, only matched by his undying love for Jack’s Buttermilk House Dressing which he shouted about just past Van Ness.)

At 8th and Geary, his excitement could not be contained. (Neither could mine.) He started ringing the bell, and his “Jackinthebox” mantra had hit a fevered pitch. As the bus slowed down to pull over, he was rocking back and forth with such force that my bench was shaking. And then, the bus came to a stop and he jumped up with a mighty scream…

And farted directly in my face.

The last I saw of my Jack in the Box friend he was tearing across Geary, arms akimbo, running to the Promised Land of Sourdough Cheeseburgers and Curly Fries. I thought of him barging in on the unsuspecting workers and customers, and was jealous. They had no idea what treat was in store for them!

I have a few regrets in my life – giving up my supercheap apartment downtown, saying “sure, I’d love to go on a date with you!” to a few people, being an English major – but the one I regret most of all is not getting off the bus and following him into that Jack in the Box. What did he order? How did he pay? Did he replace the Butterfinger wrapper with perhaps a packet of taco sauce? Ahhh, mysteries of life for which we’ll never have an answer. But some things I know for sure: I have never been able to say, “Jack in the Box” the same way ever again, and every time I see the commercials, I think of him and hope he’s enjoying a delicious Jumbo Jack, wherever he is… Even if it’s on the 38-Geary.

It’s best to keep regrets to a minimum, we say. Stop holding back, and share your amazing Muni stories today.

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What would you do if a theft was happening right in front of you on Muni? Here’s what Rachel did.

Last night, three 38Ls rode by, all of them packed to the gills, so I waited for the regular. When it came, it wasn’t crowded but there weren’t any free seats, so I stood near the accordion fold.

There were a few kids in the back door stairwell. They played with their phones and slurped tapioca drinks.I don’t know why I watched the kids – nothing else to occupy myself with, I guess.

Most of them got out at Scott, then a couple at Divisadero.

The bus stopped at Baker and the doors opened with their usual hydraulic whoosh.

Two kids got out, and then the last kid lunged at a woman sitting across from the door and ripped the iPhone out of her hands.

She pulled away from him and shouted something. And then I was at the door too, yelling, “HEY, HEY, HEY!” as loudly as I could, grabbing for the boy, grabbing for the bright white phone, the headphones, whatever I could get a hold of.

We scrabbled for the phone and got it back. The kid took off down the street, his hood covering his face, no chance to identify him if it ever came to that.

The bus driver didn’t pay any attention. She shut the doors and we were on our way.

The woman sat back down and wound her headphones around her phone before shoving it into her bag.

“Thanks,” she said.

No one else said a thing, and no one moved.

Wow. Watch out for your phones, purses, and other items on the bus, everybody. Not everyone’s lucky enough to ride the bus with Rachel. Got your own Muni story? We wanna hear it.

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Yesterday, I posted about this guy’s Christmas Chuck Taylors. I said that some of the most interesting stuff happens in the accordion: those four seats in the squishy middle of articulated buses. Then, @SF_CableCar offered this suggestion:

Fun! Maybe you should start a section dedicated to unusual happenings in the accordion part of the bus & call it ‘The Accordion Files.’

Cable cars have the best ideas. Ask and ye shall receive.

Forget the back of the bus; sit in the gooey center and tell us what’s happening in it. You, too, might find great shoes or, as Jeff did a few years ago, a guy who rubs his snot on the handrail. Ew!

This idea couldn’t have come at a better time. On the 38 recently, I sat in the accordion and wondered what would happen if I and the three others had to make like Sandra Bullock and save the bus or even the world. Indeed, what if I, the lady praying her rosary, the girl with 80 shopping bags in the aisle, and the impeccably dressed older gentleman were humanity’s only hope? The accordion does wacky things to a lone rider with a dead phone.

Though we may never see that level of excitement, we still want to hear about it. Email us, tweet us @munidiaries, or chat us up on the Muni Diaries Facebook Page.

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Muni rider Matt witnessed yet another blatant phone theft on Muni last week:

A young woman’s iPhone was stolen [last Tuesday] by two young men on the 38L outbound bus. The victim was seated in the third seat on the same side as the door, between the second door and the accordion section. The taller of the two men snatched her iPhone and ran off at the Fillmore stop at approximately 8:15-8:20 pm.

The noted modus operandi seems to be operating in pairs and stake out their victim by standing near or in front of the potential mark near the door with frequent texting on older non-smartphone phones, making frequent eye contacts with each other. They seem to frequently target women who are distracted or using their phone during non-commute hours.

Other passengers soon informed the driver of what happened, but the driver said he could not do anything since the victim is gone. He called central and reported the incident.

Matt described the thieves as two young black men, one overweight with some facial hair and the other tall and lanky, both wearing all black. This was one of the string of phone thefts on Muni, so use common sense and be aware of your environment!

p.s. Here’s some information from SFPD on how to file a police report.

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Yesterday as I made my way to the outbound 38-Geary I saw a group of film makers making use of the temporarily unused shelter at Geary and Stockton.

It’s not everyday you see a giant duck, monkey, and either an opera singer or Mother Earth waiting for a bus when it wasn’t anywhere near Bay to Breakers time.

Any idea what movie was being filmed when D spotted these characters at the bus stop?

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From Muni rider Derek:

Another WTF!!?? moment on the outbound 38-Geary yesterday.

Who can come up with the funniest caption?

The mask is a new one for us, but hardly the oddest thing we’ve seen on Muni.

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One of our favorite web peeps, the Tenderloin Geographic Society, found an awesome wood print by a friend who was doing a project at SFMOMA, now on display at Mission Cultural Center. For the project, artist Imin Yeh created an alternative Chinese New Year celebration, with museum visitors producing seemingly “auspicious” cultural objects.

The God of Public Transportation looks pretty auspicious to me. She’s got two bucks at the ready and kick-ass boots. And she’s riding the storied 38-Geary.

Check out the Tenderloin Geographic Society‘s other photo finds around the city.

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