DIY: Make Your Own Muni 01.25.12
Image: Lost in the 415
Back in December, we posted what was obviously the hottest item on your holiday wish list: folding paper Muni buses. Think paper dolls, but for your favorite Muni line. An easy, fun idea from Paper Buses via Uptown Almanac.
Print yours out today — there are a few other lines available on Paper Buses — and send us your photos and stories. Why’d you pick the line that you did?
We’re still waiting on that inaccurate paper NextBus tracker to go with it.
John Waters Rides the 47, Wants to Be Muni Spokesman 01.05.12
Image: No Bunny Luvs You
The Baltimore-based filmmaker has a well-documented love of Muni. In fact, he made our day recently when he wandered into our inbox:
Tell them thanks…I am waiting for Muni to hire me as their spokesperson!!
What say, SFMTA? I think you should take him up on it.
‘Wave Shelters Do Not Shelter!’ 12.07.11
Wave shelters do not shelter! Let’s all get wet!
The new Muni shelters may not protect you from the rain, but they may protect you from small fire arms. Useful? Let’s hope not.
Pay or Get off the Bus! 11.01.11
Photo by Robert B. Livingston
Tales of Muni heroism, they occur. Witness this story from Muni rider Ellen …
Speaking of Muni…on the 47, heading back from Aquatic Park on Sunday:
Driver: “Folks, this is why Muni is so broke and keeps cutting service, because these people think they can ride for free!”
Nearby Passenger (to teens): “Either pay, or get the fuck off of the bus!”
Teen Girl: “Did you just tell me to get the fuck off of the bus?”
Passenger (50-ish New Yorker type): “I did.”
Teen Girl: “You can’t talk to me like that. You can’t tell me what to do.”
Driver (puts on brake): “This bus is out of service, everyone!” (everyone groans and mutters)
(Teens get off of the bus, finally!)
After which, the bus started, and everyone heartily thanked the driver and the passenger. Muni is mighty!
Mighty indeed. Got a Muni story? You know the drill.
Unnecessary Rudeness: A PSA of Sorts 06.17.11
Photo by Tantek Çelik
She says this in response:
“Can’t you read? It said ‘already processed.’ Fucking idiot.”
So … some friendly reminders and tips for everyone at home:
- “EH-EH” is the no-no sound. “EH,” singular, is the good sound. Both are really loud and obvious.
- Those machines always tell you, aurally and on the screen, when your tag worked. Pretty sure it displays a red light if it didn’t.
- It happens to the best of us. I usually board the bus, rolling my eyes after two tries, and tag at the back doors.
- The drivers can be faulted for a great many things, but failure to tag a card on persnickety machines isn’t one of them.
She was sweet as pie to the passengers, perhaps realizing how snatchy the whole exchange was.
Ready to Meet the Lord 05.16.11
Photo by Troy Holden
I’m on the 47 on my way to work and had been listening to the mutterings of the man across the aisle from me. He was carrying a garbage bag of his belongings and a paper bag with unspecified booze; and he was getting louder and louder.
“Lord Jesus, I’m ready to die,” he said. “I have no job, I have no money,” (the girl next to him gets up to stand somewhere away from him), “I have my momma’s debt, my daddy’s debt, and I’m ready to die because I don’t want to be nobody’s bother.” Everyone looks away awkwardly, including me. The man starts laughing about something else. Then I realize that we weren’t moving.
I looked up and a cleanly dressed younger guy in the front of the bus was talking to the driver, pointing at the drunkard. “He’s drinking alcohol…openly…” I overhear him telling the drivers.
Really?
The drunk wasn’t really bothering anybody except for our guilty conscience, and he didn’t even smell. How are you trying to kick the drunk guy off the bus after he said he’s ready to meet his death because he has nothing? And isn’t a drunk man muttering to himself a regular sight on Muni? The driver got up and glanced at the drunkard, who said, “Don’t mind me, I’m just waking up.” The driver sat back down and started driving again.
Because of the “good Samaritan,” I missed the connecting train I was trying to catch, which is just one of my many first-world problems. I guess it’s just another Monday.
Muni, the ‘God Damn Loud Talking Bus!!!’ 05.10.11
Muni rider Charles shares:
This graffiti, on a 47, reminds me of one of my early rides on Muni. I used to take the 1 to and from work. One night, on the way home, every time there was an announcement, the guy sitting behind me would grumble, “Goddamn talking bus.” The ride home was about 14 blocks, and he was on the bus when I got on and still on it when I got off, so I can only assume that this continued until his destination.
Whatever floats your boat, grumbler.
Left Behind at the Muni Hair Show 01.14.11
Photo by Brenden Delzer
Well, we could hardly beweave our eyes when we saw Brenden’s picture. I watched Chris Rock’s Good Hair last year so I know these hair units can be expensive. Somebody needs to hit up Kim “Don’t Be Tardy for the Party” Zolciak for some advice. Word is that the Atlanta Housewife knows how to keep her weave on her head.
Back door black hole 12.16.10
Photo by freya.gefn
But, sometimes, someone falls off the bus.
This girl was with a handful of friends, and they got off at a Van Ness stop, I forget which one. Something north of Geary. It was Tuesday, and a little rain was still coming down. She was the last one of her crew out. She slipped and fell down and onto the back stairs. Her friends and a guy standing near the door helped her out, but she seemed to bang up her knee and suffer at least a little ego bruising. I had never seen someone fall off the bus, but it reminded me to step carefully on Muni during rainy season. Falling off the bus is so much worse than regular falling, amirite, folks?
The driver stopped the bus and checked to see if she was OK, as I patiently waited for someone to get angry and demand that we get moving again. But that didn’t happen and everyone was deemed OK.
We went along until another stop, and another gal got her grocery bag stuck in the same area, in some no-man’s-land between the back row of seats and the doorway. She was freed after some collective shouting of “back door!” (which actually worked this time), but it made me wonder why this black hole was eating everyone passing through it. User error? Just one of those days?
Bonus: Obvious-Visiting Guy asks his Obvious-Local Friend, “Does shit like this happen on the bus all the time??”
Welcome, friend. And hold on.
Comic book vendor on the 47-Van Ness 12.14.10
Photo by Anna L Conti
Muni rider Charles caught an interesting scene from the back of the 47 last night:
There was a guy attempting to sell comic books and related items to passengers. Periodically, he would hold up things and announce, to no one in particular, the price and perhaps some noteworthy aspect of the items. I wish I could have heard some of his more detailed descriptions, but I was sitting too far away.
Which brings up the question: What else should be sold (legally or not) on Muni?
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