Rider Anthony sent us this picture of ol’ yellow on a “very crowded 38L.” When you’re ass-to-crotch with strangers during commute hour, it’s the little things that count.

Balloon animals on Muni is my favorite meme, short of actual pets on the bus. (And the even rarer meme of the bus arriving just when I needed it.) I spotted my first balloon animal on a snoozing Muni in October, after which rider Kristin sent us a pic of its twin (or perhaps the same one?) on a 16X. Rider Heather sent us a blue balloon dog from 2010, and, stretching even further back, we’ve got this orange one on the 5-Fulton, via telluomo on Flickr:

Did a Muni balloon animal make a rough ride or day a little better? Tell us all about it.

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Dhyana posted this celebration of coconuty chocolate on the Muni Diaries Facebook Page, noting this:

On the 5 this morning: Some guy got up and dumped a bag of bite-size candy into the seat next to me and then left the bus. “Sometimes he has cupcakes,” said the person sitting across from me. Muni is weird.

Maybe this is part of his oeuvre, a la Felix Gonzalez-Torres. It is so contemporary.

Either that or coconut macaroons are next. But really, though, what does this “sometimes” look like when it’s cupcakes, instead?

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Ed of BART Don’t Lie and @bartdiaries fame sends along this really important scribbling, which he found aboard a 5-Fulton near Masonic yesterday.

I spent my wedding night at the Whitcomb, so I share this person’s pain. I just hope that management swiftly addresses these egregious crimes.

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Muni rider Scott spins a, uh, wet one for us from the 5-Fulton.

Best Muni moment; I have many but this tops!

On my way to USF from Montgomery Street, I get on the 5-Fulton one weekday morning. Nothing unusual, I sit one row from the back sipping my coffee reading the Chronicle. We turn onto McAllister Street, and a woman jumps on the bus and sits in the very corner of the last row. I try not stare, but can clearly see this person is completely whacked out of her mind.

I’m not surprised as we entered the Tenderloin. I continued to read until I notice some liquid on the floor coming from that particular corner of the bus. Just then a gorgeous girl was walking to the rear of the bus. As she was about to sit down in front of the woman, I kind of grabbed her with a slight nod, then said you should really sit over here, instead. She looked at me as I drew her attention to the mess in the back. We are not at Van Ness yet, but the woman gets up and leaves.

This normally would be the end of the story but not this time. Both the gorgeous girl and I leaned back to see what the hell was dripping and realized that the person decided to relieve herself on the bus. It was a pool, too. We both looked at each other and knew that, well, this is Muni and you get all kinds of weird things happening. Just as we figured out it was piss, a group of kids no older than 12 jumped in the back of the bus and seated themselves on the wet seats. One yelled out, “What the hell is this?” as the other is sitting in it getting drenched. Two of the kids moved from their seats but the last kid exclaimed, “I’m a pimp and this shit don’t bother me.” He sat in a pool of piss for the remainder of my trip.

As always, a friendly reminder to check your seats and beware moving liquid on the bus. Sometimes, it’s wee-wee, folks.

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Okay, if San Francisco had a royal wedding, Muni probably wouldn’t be involved. But aren’t you sick of watching people who get hitched in a 1902 State Landau carriage, or whatever that thing is? Or are you sick of the people who are sick of the royal wedding?

We found some non-royalties (as far as we know) whose wedding transportation of choice is a little more down to earth. Jeni and Keith met on the 5-Fulton, and the proposal happened right under the Muni shelter where they met. Their graphic designer, Molly Gaines, kept the Muni theme in the couple’s save-the-date cards.

Aw.

Muni is no stranger to love: we gathered all the wedding/love stories we have received in this year’s Valentine’s Day roundup, which includes Eric, who met his wife on the bus, Heather and Ed, and of course, Muni Diaries editors Jeff and Tara. Their union really had nothing whatsoever to do with Muni, but hey?

Congrats, Keith and Jeni!

Now, does anybody have Prince Harry’s phone number?

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Muni rider Alex encountered a driver he described as an “angel” and “a gem.” Read on:

The driver I met on the 5-Fulton is incredible. A few stops went by after I boarded the bus, then a guy got on and told the driver he had lost his cell phone on another 5-Fulton. To my surprise, the driver let the passenger borrow his phone to try and call his lost cell phone. No luck. Soon another 5-Fulton came in the other direction, so the driver stopped to let the guy off to search the other bus. No luck again.

Our driver waited for the guy to reboard and told him that he might have a chance of finding it at the bus yard division on Geary and Masonic. The bus driver did everything he could to help this passenger. He told the passenger where to go: first go to coach cleaners, then to Dispatch, and then to Lost and Found.

I don’t know if this passenger ever found his phone. But if he did, it’s thanks to this amazing bus driver who went above and beyond.

Later that night, as we continued to go down Fulton, I chatted with the driver. We talked about why the 5 was a trolley line and how San Francisco is still one of the few transit filled cities. We talked about the Skoda buses, Owl lines, and transit in the East Bay. I told him about my school and he told me he wanted to go into the computer industry but he’s not sure which field specifically.

Linux, Mac, so many choices, he said.

I was enjoying chatting with him so much I considered going back to Ocean Beach on the 5 just so I could listen to him. But as many Muni rides tend to go, some unexpected drama had other plans for my evening. Once we got to Hyde, two passengers who got on were accusing another woman of stealing a wallet. The driver called 911, and soon police officers came.

I’m not sure what happened at the end of the night after I left, but this driver is now my favorite! I think I’ll be taking the 5-Fulton more often around midnight — at least it is more interesting.

Thanks, driver 3313, for being my hero!

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I can understand that Muni drivers sometimes need to pop out real quick for a bathroom  break , but buying a lotto ticket? Really? Rider Donna C. sent us this email:

Just before 1 p.m., I was riding the #5 Fulton towards downtown when the muni driver pulled over at Fulton & Masonic, jumped out, grabbed a lotto ticket from the stand just outside the Fulton Food Shop, went inside to the cashier, opened his wallet, and presumably played his lotto ticket. There was an audible gasp among the passengers on the packed bus – no one could believe what they were seeing. He came out of the store, and got back on the bus as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. I called in a formal complaint to muni – we’ll see what comes of it. I asked for someone to report back to me.

Drivers just can’t catch a break this week, it seems.

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Allie has a strange missed connection of sorts. Read on.

One of my friends and I have seen the same woman riding the 31 and 5 off and on since we moved to San Francisco five years ago to attend USF. We call her the French Woman. She has a French accent, seriously dislikes cell phones, and will tell you off if you are speaking or laughing too loud (by too loud, I mean louder than a whisper). Like… seriously tell you off.

Regardless of the day of the week, she will exclaim across the bus, “It is Sunday, a day of rest! Do not talk so loud!”

We hadn’t seen her in a long time until last week when we were disembarking from the 5 at Baker and she was waiting at the stop… Let’s just say I got a very stern look and lots of hand motions which insinuated that I was being loud and obnoxious. But I was outside and laughing (soberly and not super loud) around noon on a Saturday. Has anyone else run into this librarian-like French woman?

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A detached 5-Fulton heading outbound on Market this morning, with an advertisement acting as caption.

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Muni rider Delaine describes an urban phenomenon …

After visiting the Conservatory of Flowers at GG Park, hubby and I jumped on the Muni 5 back across town. Sitting next to us was an attractive woman. About half way downtown, she pulls out some concealer and foundation and applies them. Ok, I think, that’s a nice touch.

A little farther on, with the bus doing its usual bumps and jumps, she applies eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, and lipliner. Just as we hit Market, she pulls out a lipstick and finishes up. I sat there amazed at this transformation, on a public bus of all places. She was beautiful.

I commented on her precision of application and she smiled. “I do this every day on the bus.” Wow. I have to be standing in my bathroom with good lighting and a makeup mirror. She wasn’t dramatic or showy in doing this makeover; she sat quietly and worked, stop by stop. I would have poked my eye out!

Seen something noteworthy on the bus lately? This is your party, and this is your audience. Share.

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