Back in December, we posted what was obviously the hottest item on your holiday wish list: folding paper Muni buses. Think paper dolls, but for your favorite Muni line. An easy, fun idea from Paper Buses via Uptown Almanac.

Marjorie contacted us recently to say she made five of these babies: the 71-Haight-Noriega, the 38-Geary, the 47-Van Ness, the 15-Third St./Fisherman’s Wharf (takin’ it back old school), and the occasional Out Of Order (taking it back to, oh, now). Neato.

Print yours out today — there are a few other lines available on Paper Buses — and send us your photos and stories. Why’d you pick the line that you did?

We’re still waiting on that inaccurate paper NextBus tracker to go with it.

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The SFMTA has just approved the Haight Street Two Way project between Gough and Octavia. How would it affect your Muni commute? Streetsblog reports:

When constructed in 2014, the project is expected to improve transit reliability for the roughly 20,000 daily riders on the 6 and 71 Muni lines by eliminating unnecessary detours that delay buses behind congested car traffic.

The current experience on the 71, said SFMTA Director Joél Ramos, is a ”long and painful ride.”

“I take offense at people who have guffawed at the 3-minute savings,” he said. “When you’ve got a bus load of people, that’s 60 people times 3 minutes each. That turns into hours which quickly turns into days of time for people that are late to work, away from their families, and these are people that are doing the right thing by not driving and getting out of our cars in this transit-first city.”

More from Haighteration:

Currently, Haight Street traffic flows in one direction — westward, away from Market Street — on the block in question. That means Muni buses traveling eastward on Haight Street have to be diverted, turning left once they reach Laguna and then right onto Page. The route brings Muni into direct competition with automobile traffic approaching Octavia Boulevard, which can often make for a painfully slow commute.

What do you think of the Haight Street Two Way Traffic Plan? Good idea to improve your commute?

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Oh Lower Haight! It’s home of the beloved and colorful 22-Fillmore, 71-Haight/Noriega, and official hood of the awesome blog Haighteration. Tuesday is Haighteration’s first birthday party, and Andrew at Haighteration has a long list of deals for you to celebrate! I’m getting my hair done for 20% off at On Mars, getting 10% off of the charcuterie plate at Uva Enoteca, and finishing off the night with beer ice cream scooped by the Haighteration crew at Three Twins.

Check out the list of deals for Tuesday’s Haighteration birthday party.

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Katie posted a story on her Tumblr blog (A Streetcar Called Taraval) that had me covering my face in laughter and horror. Read on:

So I’m riding a 71 from downtown with my boyfriend. At Sixth street, a woman begs the driver, “I don’t have any money, I just need to go to the hospital!” The driver doesn’t have time for her story, so he lets her on without fare. She sits in the designated seating, spread across three seats. She’s wearing an ankle-length skirt. She has a stained T-shirt stretched over pendulous breasts that reach her navel. She has a shock of bright pink hair and is about 5’3” and 350. It’s late December, and she’s smiling and wishing a Merry Christmas to all of the riders.

All the locals summarily ignore her because we’re used to sixth street crazies on the bus. Then she starts itching her leg. She works her skirt up a little bit and claws at her calf. Whatever. A couple of tourists get on the bus with their muni 3-day passports. They look like a young couple from New England. The woman wishes them a drunk “Merrrrry Christmuss!!” and smiles. They awkwardly exchange a holiday greeting back. This woman has since moved on to itching her inner knee…. Her skirt is hiked up a little bit more, so she can reach it. She’s still overflowing with holiday cheer.

Finish reading Katie’s story on A Streetcar Called Taraval.

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It’s like Christmas morning here at Muni Diaries headquarters.

On Wednesday, after months of private longing, we went public and asked you to help locate audio of the widely reported and seemingly highly adored singing Muni driver. Almost every report we had heard came from aboard the 71-Haight/Noriega.

The good folks at Tenderloin Geographic Society found our white whale, and in so doing, have made our week, our month, our year with the video above. Thanks, guys!

But the rest of you 71 passengers, don’t take this as a case-closed signal. Gluttons that we are, if you’ve got more audio or video of this mobile baritone, share it here on Muni Diaries!

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When photographer and friend Julie Michelle sat next to a man who started to make her really uncomfortable, her camera became a way to stop his behavior. But as a photographer, that fact made her equally uneasy. Here’s what happened, from Julie’s blog:

I sat in the back … the middle seat was then taken by a young man with a large duffel bag. He found a way to really wedge himself between me and the other woman, touching our sides more than I am used to even on a crowded bus. He did not look at either of us. Did not apologize for sitting on my coat, the little niceties that people make when crammed together because that is the nature of public transportation.

He spread the long, flat, dirty canvas tote bag across his lap. … So I looked down, and under the duffle bag I could see that he was masturbating. That was the wiggling. That was why he flattened the bag and flattened himself against us. I don’t think the girl [next to him] knew what was going on. I looked straight ahead.

At the next stop, several people got off the bus and I moved to the seat perpendicular to him.

I took his photo.

He pretended not to see me and kept on with his activities.

I took another photo of him: zooming in on his face, his hand in his pants–and this time he looked at me.

I took another photo of him.

He got off the bus at the next stop.

When I asked Julie about the incident later, she said, “I have never pointed my camera at someone with the intent to make that person uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable doing it, just as I would have been if I would have shouted or drawn attention to him verbally. I don’t know if this person was mentally ill or what, and I am certain I didn’t stop his future behavior, but perhaps I gave him pause in turning the tables just a bit.”

We’ve documented more than a few instances of bad behavior on the bus, and technically the bus is a public space, so what Julie did didn’t seem so out of line to me. But everyone has a different opinion on photography on the bus. What would you do if you had to confront someone who’s behaving badly on the bus?

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Julie at Caliber took this photo on the 71 Noriega. I can never tire of new ways to look at the same transit system that we depend on every day. If you’ve got photos or art taken on the bus, don’t forget our Flickr pool or simply send it to us so we can share it here.

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So how does a little culture clash between tough-as-nails Chicago and nice-as-pie San Francisco go down on Muni? Zore told us all about it at the the Muni Diaries Story Tent at Secession Art and Design last Friday. Check out another story we got that night and the wacky Muni Mad-Libs from the Outbound show.

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Muni rider Adam saw a group of people scamming Muni passengers on the 24 recently with the infamous “three cup shuffle” scam. I’ve heard about this scam being carried out on tourists at Fisherman’s Wharf and in some other tourist-heavy cities, but Adam’s description of what happened seems more threatening:

Today a friend witnessed a group of people gambling/scaming passengers on Muni. One guy would do the ‘which cup is the bottlecap under’ and bug nearby passengers about money, while flashing cash. A nearby passenger refused to pay attention so two other guys came up and threatened the guy into giving up his cash on hand. This was on a 24-inbound. They jumped off in the Haight. Not 10 minutes later another friend texts me that this same group of guys (whom he sees all the time) are on the 71-inbound doing the same thing. They intimidated a guy out of $40.

Adam said he called 311 and was transferred to SFPD, who then transferred him back to Muni. Adam also reports that the 311 operator would not take an anonymous report, but on the 311 site I found that you can indeed file an anonymous report about Muni.

Our own Jeff Hunt and Tara Ramroop said they have also seen this scam, on the F:

The game involves three little cups, a marble, and a flat surface. The cups are mixed around, only one containing the marble, and the participants guess which cup has the marble. One guy sat down with the board, facing across the middle aisle to a couple of female tourists. One of his (obvious) cohorts sat a few rows back, and on the other side. Another cohort was closer to the back door of the F, perhaps setting himself up as the lookout.

When guy with the board couldn’t drum up much interest, his cohort egged people on, making it seem like he was just a spectator. He pretended to “play,” and that got the tourists’ interest. After a few “feel good” rounds of letting the tourists win, it was on to the real money. Bets were up for $1 to $20 and more. After a few wins, a loss is hard to swallow. So the tourists go in even further, and now they’re out something like $100. It all happens really fast, but ends in slow motion. All three men get up and off the streetcar at the same stop. Ten seconds later, the tourists realize what happened.

We dialed our criminal defense lawyer friends, who said that this is almost certainly illegal, violating Article 3 of San Francisco’s Municipal Code. Specifically, section 227. The scammers are also probably in violation of the California Penal Code, which calls  this scam “three card monte.”¹

Threatening the passengers for money probably also violates a couple of laws, including disorderly conduct, we were told. Have you seen what Adam or Jeff and Tara described on Muni?

¹ California Penal Code Section 332 provides:
(a) Every person who by the game of “three card monte,” so-called, or any other game, device, sleight of hand, pretensions to fortune telling, trick, or other means whatever, by use of cards or other implements or instruments, or while betting on sides or hands of any play or game, fraudulently obtains from another person money or property of any description, shall be punished as in the case of larceny of property of like value for the first offense, except that the fine may not exceed more than five thousand dollars ($5,000). A second offense of this section is punishable, as in the case of larceny, except that the fine shall not exceed ten thousand dollars ($10,000), or both imprisonment and fine.
(b) For the purposes of this section, “fraudulently obtains” includes, but is not limited to, cheating, including, for example, gaining an unfair advantage for any player in any game through a technique or device not sanctioned by the rules of the game.

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Muni rider Monica has this story:

On Sundays, I would need to take the 71 Haight-Noriega at Noriega and 46th Ave (going downtown). Twice, a Muni driver would begin the line about 3 minutes before he was supposed to. He would stop in the middle of Noriega and 44th ave to pee in the gas station. This was not in front of a bus stop by the way.

What the hell? Try to pee before you drive?

Heh. I sympathize with the bus driver. I’m like that before every road trip. Nervous habit, you know? Sorry. TMI? – Eugenia

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