Photo by Flickr user drain
I always cringe if I end up on the N-Judah headed toward Caltrain with the conductor who likes to announce the 2nd and King stop as: “home to the house that Barry built.” I curse him for making me think about Barry Bonds, drugs, and the corporate sports machine so early in the morning.
There are many Muni voices we love and hate to recognize. Who hasn’t heard the announcer who draws out the broken elevator messages into three-minute pronouncements more fitting for a get-you-in-the-mood Motown record? Then there’s that BART conductor who takes on the role of airport commissary when en route to SFO, and city ambassador when at Powell. He has a zingy, upbeat, professional voice that is not wholly unpleasant.
One time, I actually developed a crush on the voice of a BART driver. He caught my attention when returning to the city from a visit to Berkeley. It was late at night and the train was full of people leaving a Cal game. The train came to a stop aboveground, between stops, and everyone complained. Moments later “the voice” came on to say that the reason we were stopped was because there was a man walking on the tracks. This fact surprised everyone. And though it was annoying that we were stopped, we appreciated knowing why. About five minutes later, as the train started to move again, “the voice” announced: “We will continue now because the man who was walking on the tracks just crossed them and walked on the freeway.” After a good pause, he added: “Good riddance.”
My crush was born. It wasn’t just the low and slow frequency of this voice that got me, but the content too, the attitude: sarcasm. A rare sign of a certain dark intelligence. I was delighted. Was this driver actually a kindred spirit? Was he hot?
Weeks later I found myself on BART again, headed to Berkeley. The car I was in had a broken door. When we got to the next station I heard “the voice” again: “Attention passengers on the fourth car, please move to the end doors, as the center door is broken and will not open. Unfortunately the people in the platform can’t hear this announcement and they will proceed to just stand there stare confusedly.”
It was him and this time I had to see what he looked like. So I slowly made my way to the very front of the train. When my stop came, I stepped out, my fellow passengers turned left toward the exit, and I turned right. And there he was. Just leaning out the open window, content to watch the passenger de-board. To my surprise, he looked like an average college graduate. He had a trimmed beard and slightly unfashionable glasses. And he was just as cool and collected as his voice. “Hello,” he said, puzzled by wayward sense of direction. Of course, I froze. Then I began to babble the whole story about recognizing his voice, the guy walking on the freeway, etc. I couldn’t believe how patient he was as he held the train. “Oh yes.” He said. “I remember that. I guess that guy had just run out of gas and was walking back to his car.” Then we stood there, me on the platform, he holding the train.
“Well,” I said hesitantly, but empowered by knowing he’d have to move along soon. “You have a very nice voice.”
And with that, he smiled, sounded the ding of closing doors, wished me a good day, and allowed the electricity to flow, propelling the train into the tunnel.
If you have any crushes related to your time on public transit, let us know.
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you’re responsible for an operator holding a car, and you didn’t get mobbed? this must not have been rush-hour. very cute story, nonetheless.
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I’m rarely on BART and you’ve just given me a good reason to take it more often.
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My favorite would be the Caltrain conductor who called out “Willoughby! Next stop, Willoughby!” thus confusing all the non-nerds on board:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Stop_at_Willoughby
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I love the dude who sounds like he’s introducing a Motown record, I hear him every night before the train home from work.
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It’s been a couple years, but there used to be the N-Judah operator who would call out all the Outer Sunset stops in Cantonese.
At least that’s what I think he was saying, as I don’t understand Cantonese. Perhaps he was telling us there was a bomb on the train and to run for our lives. I’ll never know.
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Not really a love story, but for a long time there was a dirty-eight driver that would call out all the stops, including points of interest in a totally cheesy radio voice, think Jimmy Fallon in the Morning Zoo sketch on SNL, “And we’re back…” I swear he called KFC as a point of interest at 6th and Geary. The best part is that he would end every announcement by reminding us that he hates his job. “6th avenue, Kaiser French Campus, Transfer to 44 line, and remember, I hate my job” I don’t ride the 38 much anymore so I haven’t heard him in a few years, but for his sake, I really hope he has a new career.
Now I ride the El Terrible, and my favorite character is the driver who has to tell us that he does not control the train in the tunnel so if it stops it’s not his fault and not to bother him.
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@Rob We’ve named him Desmond. His voice could butter bread.
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I used to have a crush on one of the BART operators on the Bay Point line, not because of his voice or commentary, but rather because he always smiled at me as I walked towards the doors of the first car at the Montgomery Station. I was always a little sad when I missed our daily rendezvous and had to take the next train . He looked like an average guy in his 30s, brown hair, a little squishy in the middle, just right for me. I should have just handed him my number but never got up the nerve.
Years ago, when I took the 35 at the crack of dawn each day when the bus was relatively empty, there was the nicest driver who would always greet me — sometimes it was a compliment on my dress, sometimes a “missed you yesterday”, and sometimes just a big smile as he said “Good morning.” If he saw me running down the street to the bus stop, he’d slow down a little or wait so I’d make it. He was a sweet man who made the start of my day just a little bit nicer.
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Nice story indeed… wish I had one as nice but I don’t. I have a big problem with one BART operator in particular who drives an afternoon Concord train, although he likely drives others throughout the day. If you’ve been on that train you no doubt know exactly who I mean.
I have a personal vendetta against this annoying a-hole BART operator who whines every time a bike gets on during non-bike hours. The self-righteous tone and just plain mean way he calls people out makes me want to commit mass murder, starting with him.
And before you start calling me out, yes I know the rules and times when bikes are allowed on BART, and no I do not take my bike on BART at anytime. Look, I get annoyed by the sense of entitlement that the bikers have too and do not believe they should break the rules. But this guy is not helping the situation at all. In fact, I find myself actually sympathizing with the cheating biker. That’s how utterly annoying the driver is.
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There is a female BART operator who sounds like she could be an evening news anchor. Very professional delivery and smooth voice. One day it was bring your kid to work day, and she let her kid make some station announcements… very cool. All the passengers on board were smiling.
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I’ve never been out to SF, but it sounds like the public transit is way more interesting than in Chicago.
I had to wipe the steam off my laptop screen after reading that last line– I hope you didn’t leave things at just this conversation!
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