Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Pregnancy is making me mean
Today the muni was crowded. I had to wait forever for the L. I had the smarts to take whatever train to West P. and then wait for the L so most of the train ride wasn’t so bad. However, when I got on the L it was super crowded. I unbuttoned my jacket, stuck my pregnant belly out as far as I could and no one gave me a seat. In fact, most of the other Sunset residents on the train closed their eyes and pretended I wasn’t there.
I decided to choose a target.
I saw a 20 year old girl who I thought had a strong back and should give me her seat. I stood right beside her and stared at her. I didn’t take my eyes off of her. Then she turned up her ipod and closed her eyes. I moved closer to the point where everytime the train jerked, my belly hit her shoulder. I wish it would have hit her head, but my belly isn’t that big yet. Then I got a seat, perpendicular to her. I positioned my feet and my backpack so she had to really squirm to get out of her seat. When she did, I moved my foot a little bit and tripped her. She didn’t fall. She just stumbled for half a second. After I did it, I didn’t exactly feel bad, but I did notice how mean pregnancy is making me. Does this make me a bad person?
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I’m not sure tripping people is the best response! Glaring, staring and belly bumping I can understand, but let’s not injure and maim. I’m glad she did not fall.
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I have to agree with Brittney here: rudeness shouldn’t beget violence, etc., etc. I realize something as simple as nasty glares might feel ineffectual, but that coupled with a healthy diary, multiplied infinitum, might just solve the problem ;)
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Whoah there little (or not so much I guess) lady. It sounds like you need to fully express your desire to take a seat before you go around physically accosting folks! LOL, probably instead of glaring passive-aggressively, you might find it a lot easier to just ask somebody to please give up their seat to you. It’s not like they can say no, you know?
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Next time try not being a passive aggressive jerk and just ask someone for their seat.
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OK, sounds like pregnancy didn’t favor my moods very well and I was a bad person for being mean and a passive aggressive jerk. Maybe the meaner the pregnant lady the sweeter the baby. I wrote this last September 2007 on my blog when I was just entering my 2nd trimester. Now the baby is almost a year old and he is the sweetest baby ever and I’m nice again.
I hereby promise to be nicer if I’m ever pregnant again.
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Even though I’ve posted a couple of times here complaining about folks ignoring me on public transit (BART in particular), I’ve never had a problem getting a seat once I asked for one. Sure, I’d seethe and want to do the passive-aggressive thing, but at the end of the day simply asking is usually enough to get the point across that someone has just been stupefyingly oblivious to his/her surroundings. :)
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Yes, it makes you a bad person.
And give me a break with the pregnant thing anyway. Since when does pregnancy equate disability? I’m one of those people who sees someone like you and closes my eyes as well. Especially now that I know you might turn into a jerk like you did here.
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Did you bother to ask? “Would mind if I could sit down?” seems like a start
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I’ve been in a similar situation before.
I dislocated my knee and I have Kaiser, so of course they just gave me a cane and told me to come back the following day to get it relocated. Yay Kaiser!
So the next day, I took a crowded 2 with cane in hand. All but two of the front seats were taken by people under the age of 30. Granted, here I am a tiny little 19-year-old girl with a cane, but seriously, people just stared at me and no one stood up. If you look at the picture next to the sign saying to get up for elderly and disabled, it’s a picture of a person with a cane. THAT WAS ME! The only person who offered was this sweet old frail woman with a walker, and there was no way I was going to take her seat. I may have been in incredible amounts of pain but I’m not a bitch. After about four painful stops, the driver eventually yelled at some guy to get up.
But it’s not really easy being like “Hey you, I am more deserving of this seat” because a) you don’t know the circumstances of these other people and b) IT’S AWKWARD!
So as much as I think the tripping was unnecessary, I don’t think it makes you a bad person for the other passive aggressiveness.
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obviously all these folks saying it makes you a bad person have never been pregnant. If she’d have fallen on her face, I bet she’d give up her seat next time.
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I have more than once considered giving my seat to someone who looked pregnant but could be just overweight, and I couldn’t be sure (can you imagine asking an overweight woman if she were pregnant or if she would like my seat?). But then if you look obviously pregnant I think people should give you the seat. I don’t have children but have enough pregnant friends to know how it wrecks your back!
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Yes it makes you a bad person. That is horrible possibly assult.
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I rode BART for the duration of my pregnancy and I was always shocked at who would give up their seats for me verses those who would not. It was usually the last person I would expect to be offer up a seat on a crowded train.
I did have one experience that was too funny to forget. I was about 7 months pregnant and I was trying to get home after work. I was on the train, standing up because there were no seats. A very professional looking lady noticed me (she was standing too) and asked me if I wanted to sit down. I told her that I was waiting for a seat to open up. She just shook her head and then started to go off at an young man sitting in the “disabled” seats. “Don’t you see she is pregnant? What is wrong with you? You need to give her your seat. Is this how your mother raised you?” The guy was totally taken back and he asked me if I wanted his seat. The lady then told him, “No you are going to give her your seat – of course she wants it – look at her!” He got up so fast, it was almost funny.
Bottom line – people are generally rude and could care less about helping out anyone on mass transit. Having been there, I would always give up my seat to someone who is pregnant or disabled. In my case there is nothing worse than being pregnant and trying to get home after a long day at work, feet and ankles swollen, feeling tired and dizzy and not being able to sit down. Strangers very seldom reach out in acts of kindness to others.
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Um, Marie, on the “pregnant thing,” turn off your IPOD and open your eyes for a sec.
I’m a civil rights lawyer, and I’m pregannt, and I will tell you that pregnancy IS a disability under federal law and California law. Look it up. Next time you see a pregnant woman, or an old person, please offer her a seat.
If I judged you by your comment alone I would say you were a jerk, or possibly infertile and therefore will never will ever get what it feels like to be pregnant. And jerks who don’t give up their seats for old people and pregant women should be fined.
MUNI and BART should begin enforcing the law and ticketing the IPOD drones hoarding seats that don’t belong to them.
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