Angry Oompa Loompa
I don’t have time to keep up with my blog, but I love this one and wanted to share some of my previous stories with you all……….
So far you’ve heard 2 tales from the 38 & the 49 lines. This one comes from the 47 which takes me from my gym in the afternoons to the 38 Geary stop to go home. When I ride I usually put on my “muni face” and act like I’m not paying attention to anyone. However, I’m completely alert to all of the excitement going on around me.
This one particular day I was riding along and we came to the stop at Union St. I heard someone outside yelling “Fuck you!” continuously and looked out to see that he was in line to get on the bus. Oh excellent, a live one! The angry man (we shall call him Oompa) was a tall, slender guy in his mid to late 40s. He didn’t appear to be “dirty fingernail homeless” because he didn’t have that look. His clothes were clean and he had longer sort of Oompa Loompa hair and was clearly an angry drunk. I also noticed that he was wearing a wedding ring (irrelevant). So Oompa followed this younger Irish looking guy onto the bus (we shall call him Ginger). I think Oompa “took a hatin” to Ginger because he got right up in his face and continued to yell “Fuck You!” at him. Poor Ginger was trying to ignore him, but it was obvious that Oompa made him slightly nervous. Then Oompa starts whistling really badly into Ginger’s ear. In the middle of his tune he shouts to the entire bus that he’s “fucking crazy and not to fuck with him” and then goes back to whistling at Ginger. The bus was full but everyone was watching this fascinating Ginger-Oompa Show and secretly hoping that Ginger would pull a tazer out of his pocket or something.
Ginger pulled the chord to get off at the next stop and Oompa was not happy. He started screaming “You’re the one! Don’t go! You’re the one!” Was Oompa in love with Ginger? Ginger started making his way to the back door of the bus and Oompa followed him, still screaming that he was the one. The bus stopped and the doors opened for Ginger to get off and run away from his new “friend.” Oompa tried to make a leap from the top step to the sidewalk. However, instant karma took its place and Oompa face planted onto the cement. It was like someone diving into a pool, only to eat the sidewalk instead. As drunk as he was, he definitely felt his landing. He stayed down for a few seconds with his face covered. Luckily the bus was stopped at a red light so everyone on the bus was at the right side looking out the windows to see what Oompa uncovered for us next. When he finally moved his hand and looked up, there was blood dripping down his face and his front tooth was dangling there in his mouth. I almost threw up on the man sitting in my lap at the sight. Then the light turned green and the bus drove off with 30 nauseated passengers.
I doubt Oompa’s wife was too happy when he got back home. It’s rare to witness instant karma, but when we do it’s oh so bittersweet! Moral of the story- don’t be an obnoxious passenger and oompa loompa hair is a no-no!
Got a freakin’ bloody Muni tale to tell? This is the place to do it.