Smackdown at the First-Ever Muni Haiku Battle!


Photo by Robert Powell

Three poets gathered at Clarion Alley to throw down their hottest Muni haikus against the reigning champion on Saturday night. About 200 of you witnessed the spectacle of the first-ever Muni Haiku Battle at Lit Crawl. Who took home the prize?

The Muni Haiku Battle is styled after the famed “Dirty Haiku Battle” at Tourettes Without Regrets in Oakland, where emcees battle it out with their best odes in 17 syllables. Tourettes Without Regrets host Jamie Dewolf (below) was our referee, pitting three writers against Caitlin Gill, the nine-time Dirty Haiku champion.


Photo by BerDerp

First up for the challenge was Will Reisman, transportation reporter with the San Francisco Examiner. You might know him as the author of the Examiner’s Man vs Muni series, where he attempts to outrun or outwalk every Muni line. Unsurprisingly, he takes Muni all the time but has somehow managed only once to witness someone throwing up on the bus.


Photo by BerDerp

Our next brave poet was Anna Pulley, the arts and culture editor at SF Weekly. Her dead-pan haikus cracked up even Caitlin.


Photo by Robert Powell

Here’s one of Anna’s gems:

My policy hasn’t
changed. You could always
enter through my “back door.”

Ah. Every Muni Diaries show is a fun, family-friendly event!

Our third contestant was the dapper James Nestor, whose ensemble earned compliments even from our host. James is the author of Get High Now (Without Drugs) and the upcoming Deep: A Sea Odyssey.


Photo by Robert Powell

What you might not know is that James is also one hell of a haiku writer. Like this one:

Why you feel for change
Young man? You have paid the fare
Corduroy boner

We were still reeling from the visual at the final battle between James and Caitlin.


Photo by BerDerp

The crowd was revved for both performers, but only one can take home the first ever Muni Haiku Battle trophy.


Photo by Robert Powell

And…Mr. James Nestor is the winner of the evening!


Photo by BerDerp

Our audience judges awarded him the first-ever Muni Haiku Trophy, which we had painstakingly made earlier Saturday morning with some items that you might find on the floor on Muni. Take a look.


Photo by BerDerp

Yes, those are sunflower seeds and a magnum condom (brand new!). We tried to glue a chicken bone on the trophy too but decided that it might be a little too disgusting for our poets.

A big thank you to Litquake for giving us the perfect backdrop for a super-local-flavor event, and to everyone who came to see the battle at Clarion Alley. We’ll have videos of the battle for you later this week.

Your Weekend Transit Advisory

San Francisco Bulls Hockey Games
On Friday and Saturday the SF Bulls will play two home games against Bakersfield Condors at the Cow Palace. Each game will begin at 7:15 p.m. For event details, please visit sfbulls.com.

The following Muni routes will be affected:

8X Bayshore Express
8BX Bayshore B Express
9 San Bruno

Outer Noriega Merchants Street Fair
On Saturday the 2nd annual Outer Noriega Merchants Street Fair will take place from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. in the Sunset District.

Noriega Street between 45th and 46th avenues will be closed from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m.

The 71 Haight-Noriega Muni route will be affected.

Nike Women’s Marathon
On Sunday the 9th annual Nike Women’s Marathon will be held throughout San Francisco, beginning with staggered start times at 5:30 a.m. for walkers and 7 a.m. for runners at Union Square and finishing at The Great Highway between Lincoln Way and JFK Drive by 4 p.m. For event details, please visit www.halfmarathons.net.

The following Muni lines and routes and lines will be affected:

Starting at 11 p.m., Saturday
3 Jackson
18 46th Avenue
38 Geary (including Owl)

Sunday
Powell-Hyde Cable Car
Powell-Mason Cable Car
California Cable Car
F Market & Wharves
1 California
2 Clement
3 Jackson
5 Fulton
8X Bayshore Express
10 Townsend
12 Folsom-Pacific
18 46th Avenue
19 Polk
23 Monterey
28 19th Avenue
29 Sunset
30 Stockton
38 Geary
43 Masonic
47 Van Ness
49 Van Ness-Market
91 Owl

The only Muni re-routes will be in the Union Square area from 4 to 10 a.m., Sunday; however, there may be some delays at other locations on the course.

Inner Sunset Sundays
On Sunday the Inner Sunset Sundays will take place on Irving Street from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m.

Irving Street between 9th and 10th avenues will be closed from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m.

Heavy ridership is expected on Muni bus lines and routes around the event area.

49ers Football Game
The San Francisco 49ers will host their sixth home game on Sunday, against the New York Giants starting at 1:25 p.m. at the Candlestick Park.

Muni offers several ways to get to Candlestick Park from locations throughout San Francisco. There are four Muni Express routes and two Shuttles.

The Muni Express route is Special Event Fare Service
· Adult fare: $12 roundtrip
· Youth/Senior/Disabled fare: $10 roundtrip
· Muni monthly pass, Passport or CityPass Special Event Add-on fare: $8 roundtrip (adult and discount pass holders)

The Candlestick Shuttles are regular fare service, $2 adult per trip and $.75 for youth/senior/disabled per trip.

In order for Clipper customers with a monthly pass to obtain the add-on fare discount, at least $8 in cash value must be loaded to their Clipper cards prior to boarding the special event Muni service.

Customers can load their cards online at www.clippercard.com (please allow at least five days for processing), or at one of the participating Clipper vendors or ticket vending machines in a Muni Metro station. Please go to www.sfmta.com for fare details.

For service to and from the game, T Third customers should transfer at the Gilman/Paul station to the 87 Candlestick Shuttle, which operates directly between the station and Candlestick Park.

Muni customers may purchase their fare in advance. SFMTA staff will sell Muni fares from 10:25 a.m. at the following locations:

· Balboa Park BART Station
· Sutter Street/Sansome Street

Pre-game Service:
· 75X Candlestick Express – from Balboa Park BART
· 77X Candlestick Express – from California and Van Ness
· 78X Candlestick Express – from California and Funston
· 79X Candlestick Express – from Sutter and Sansome
· 86 Candlestick Shuttle – from Bacon and San Bruno
· 87 Candlestick Shuttle – from Third Street and Gillman, T Third Station

Post-game Service:
· 75X Candlestick Express – to Balboa Park BART
· 77X Candlestick Express – to Van Ness and North Point
· 78X Candlestick Express – to California and Funston
· 79X Candlestick Express – to Kearny and Sutter
· 86 Candlestick Shuttle – to Bacon and San Bruno
· 87 Candlestick Shuttle – to Third Street and Gillman, T Third Station

79X Candlestick Express Re-route
The southbound 79X Candlestick Express, which provides express service to the 49ers game from downtown, will be re-routed all season due to Central Subway construction on Stockton and 4th streets. Customers traveling to the game can board the 79X Candlestick Express at the following locations:

· Sutter and Sansome
· Sutter and Kearny

79X Candlestick Express Re-route continued

· Mason and Geary
· Cyril Magnin and Market
· 5th Street and Mission
· 5th Street and Howard
· 5th Street and Folsom

The southbound buses will then travel express to Candlestick Park from 5th and Folsom. Northbound buses will remain on their regular route.

Transit News: Record BART riders, SF transit handles busy weekend, Central Subway money and lawsuits


Photo by mpieracci

  • BART Announces Record Weekend Ridership (SF Appeal)
  • Transit strategy bodes well for ’13 Cup (SFGate)
  • This Weekend’s Traffic Frenzy: A Success for Sustainable Transportation? (Streetsblog SF)
  • “E for Effort” — Hectic Weekend Taught Lessons (Market Street Railway)
  • Muni expects $942 million in Central Subway funding (SF Examiner)
  • Central Subway subject of suit (SFGate)
  • Muni Bus Withstands Gunshot Damage (SF Appeal)
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