Your super local, very SF Cyber Monday guide

Once upon a time, an evil retail overlord made up the term “Cyber Monday.” But fret not, as these local shops are our chance to save the planet from big box boredom. We picked some of our favorite San Francisco makers for your holiday gifting (or treat yo’self) needs.

Our first pick is the addictive Bacon Crack, pictured above, from chocolatier Nosh This. Its secret super power? Flaky butter-toffee made with Zoe’s Meats’ Applewood-smoked bacon, toasted organic Kashiwase Farms almonds, Gilt Edge Creamery butter, all enrobed in chocolate. I’m a big fan of the balsamic vinegar salted caramel too.

Nosh This Bacon Crack, $15.

Mash up your love for Stranger Things and your city in one shirt:
Avenue Dry Good‘s “Sucka Free” tee does just that. If you’re at Avenue Dry Goods IRL (in the Sunset on Irving and 42nd Avenue), don’t forget to say hi to store’s proprietor, Eve Batey, who also served at the helm of beloved SFist (RIP) for many years.

Avenue Dry Goods Sucka Free tee, $40
Free shipping for orders over $50

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Sexual Folklorist Dixie De La Tour on the magic of tele-personals

Dixie De La Tour is the founder of Bawdy Storytelling (“The Moth for Pervs,” per LA Weekly), America’s Original Sex+Storytelling series featuring Real People & Rockstars sharing their bona fide sexual exploits, live onstage. In this podcast episode, she reaches back in time to those bad old days without Tinder, and you have to call the tele-personals to find Mr. Right/Mr. Right Now.

Instead of swiping left or right, you had to call the tele-personals to listen to voice messages, leave a voicemail to someone you fancy, then hope they leave you a voicemail with their phone numbers eventually. Dixie met one gentleman who fell in love with her voice, and he chose an interesting venue for their first meeting. Three guesses where?

Listen to her story here:

Dixie’s next show is this Thursday, November 16th, at the Verdi Club. The theme is “Hurt So Good.” Tickets are on sale now so you can see her in person.

If you like what you’ve heard on the Muni Diaries podcast, please share our podcast and rate it on iTunes so other people can find it too. It would really make our day!

You too can add an entry to our collective journal. We’re looking for your personal stories about what it means to live here, and what makes our city “so San Francisco.” Tag us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Our email inbox is always open! Got a Muni or BART story? We’re all ears too!

Photo by Right Angle Images. Featured photo via @bawdystorytelling.

Video: Making a grand entrance from Muni

There’s extra, and then there is EXTRA.

This guy in a vampire costume is making the party entrance I’ve always dreamed of. San Francisco Examiner photographer and keen Muni observer @jachristian saw this fellow emerge from the Muni station escalator in a most fantastic and “fuck the fall risk” fashion.

We have more moments ranging from “Hmm. Cool.” to WTF on and off Muni, in our appropriately named WTF page.

You too can add an entry to our collective journal. Got other important news for your fellow riders? Tag us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Our email inbox is always open!

Muni Diaries Live: Turn up the volume

Twice a year, we take Muni Diaries out of the interwebs and into real life at Muni Diaries Live. If those stories, told to a packed crowd at the Elbo Room last Saturday are any indication, Muni is still the spot to mine storytelling gold.

Comedian Tirumari Jothi, whose tale of an out-of-this-world conversation (rings of Saturn included) had the crowd in stitches. You can see him this Friday, Nov. 10th, and the Comix Experience Outpost on Ocean Avenue.

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Muni Haiku Battle returns Saturday Nov. 4

Three poets battled in a dark alley in the Mission for the right to go head-to-head with the current Muni Haiku Battle champion, Baruch Porras-Hernandez. And that battle was fierce! Tirumari Jothi, Chris Collision, and Alexandria Love busted out their best 5-7-5 poetry about public transit, and our audience judges chose Alexandria Love as our next challenger!

You can see Alexandria’s fight for the haiku crown at the next Muni Diaries Live Saturday, Nov. 4, and the Elbo Room. Tickets are on sale now, so grab one before they are all gone.

To tide you over between now and the show, here are some of the best Muni haikus from Tirumari Jothi:

Blowjob in car; that’s
Road head, right? So then, handjob on
MUNI; a track jack

I get on the train
One seat is open, but wait
Is that…human shit?

(May we advice that you issue a friendly warning like this?)

One more:

One time, I threw up
In my mouth, cuz I was hung-
over. I swallowed.

From challenger Chris Collision of I Don’t Even Own a Television:

On my way to work.
Fuck, dude, I’m wearing headphones!
Stop. Talking. To me.

One more from Chris:

I know you feel me.
The problem is, I smell you.
Standing room only.

And one from our Facebook page by Joy Morgenstern:

Manspreader on left
Negligent bather on right
Welcome to Muni

Be there for the Alexandria vs. Baruch showdown, and hear more only-in-SF stories at the show next Saturday.

Muni Diaries Live

Saturday, Nov 4, 2017

Doors: 6 p.m., show: 7 p.m.

Elbo Room (Tickets)

647 Valencia Street, San Francisco

Take Muni there: J-Church, 12, 14, 22, 33, 49, or BART: 16th or 24th St. stations


Photo by @hoobyjuice