Dear John

As with a number of interpersonal issues, writing a letter (with the optional step of posting it on the internet) can be a productive outlet to air one’s grievances. So …

Dearest Singing Guy on the 49 (Bus 7020),

You’re an asshat. But unlike a long line of asshats before you, you at least seem to know it.

I got on around 8 p.m. at Van Ness/Otis, that janky excuse for a block with Power Exchange on it. I only rode until 20th Street, but you actually managed to sing the whole time. But I guess god explicitly forbade you from singing something good, or even bad in a fun way. Whatever it was sounded like something my nephew would find on Barney. While you seem to be at or around the same developmental level as him (my nephew, not Barney. Well, actually…) you still looked closer to 30 than to 3. Unacceptable.

You actually managed to ignore (twice) loud, lengthy pleas from Best Driver Ever to literally “chill out back there” and “save the singing for outside.”

But you did earn a logic point when you noted that “there are crazier fuckers than me yelling on this bus all the time.”

…OK you’re right. Thanks a lot, SF.

I didn’t realize those people, who ditched your ass to get on BART and then proceed to talk shit about you, were actually your friends. They seemed mildly amused at my inquiry into whether you were actually crazy or just an asshole, noting simply that you were reeeeeally drunk. But I hope they told your hungover ass the next day that “some chick on that bus said you were an asshole.”

As I climb on my high horse, note that when I get wasted and then get on a bus, I have the decency to keep to myself (it actually helps when you’re trying not to spin into the barfies, you know), stopping only to yell at chastise people if they really bother me.

Sadly, you’re now going to use this story as a badge of honor to tell all your friends at the next drinking outing you’re sober enough to remember, making you an even bigger asshat.

Just some friendly advice, though: It being the oft-ghettofied 49, people will kick your ass for being an idiot. Trust me. Your annoyed friends will also not wait until their BART stop comes up to dash off the bus in that case, either.

My warmest regards,


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