J-Church Food Fight!


Photo by J. McPherson

Tuchmanna tells a story from this morning’s commute. Alas …

So, today starts out normal enough: Muni delays, fog — your typical San Francisco Friday. Boarding the J this morning, I certainly wasn’t expecting the meat-splosion that was about to occur.

Two 15-16-year-old girls climb on at Church and Market, grab a seat directly across the aisle from me, and break open a container of deli wraps filled with an assortment of meats. 15 minutes later when we’re finally between Van Ness and Civic Center, one of the girls starts dropping pieces of meat in the aisle. We make eye contact, she stares me down, I go back to reading. Out of the corner of my eye I see this girl hold up a big piece of meat, dangle it next to me and drop it right next to my bag. I turn to her and politely ask her to please not drop her meat on the floor. Typical spiel about sharing a public space, yada yada yada. The guy sitting next to me chimes in, calls them rude, she starts telling us to pick it up for her, and her friend just sits there laughing.

We’re delayed a few more minutes and are sitting in the train between Civic Center and Powell now, when the meat offender flicks a piece of roast beef that lands on the guy in front of me. He turns to her, and says, “Excuse Me?” She stares him down and says, “WHAT?” All of a sudden this dude erupts. He jumps up, knocks the container of sandwiches into the air so that pieces of lunch meat and wrap go flying everywhere, and starts going after this girl. Her friend jumps in and a full on brawl ensues on Muni. All your typical yuppie riders are engaged in a mix of laughing, screaming, and pulling everyone apart.

After all the meat-heads run off the train, one guy starts muttering about the degeneration of society into a future of barnyard animals and prehistoric creatures.

Then, once everyone calmed down, we all set to picking up the lunch meat and bonding over the ridiculousness of SF. If this doesn’t say, Good Morning, San Francisco, I sure don’t know what does.

We can’t promise food fights, but tonight’s Muni Diaries Live should be no less entertaining. Hope to see you there!

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