Kirk Read on Muni: Humanity and Criminality

You probably have heard of Mr. Kirk Read, cohost the open mics Smack Dab and Kvetsh, and an amazing storyteller himself. Here Kirk tells a story that happened on the 14-Mission at Muni Diaries Live 5.

I missed my preferred mode of Muni transportation, which I think it’s the only dignified way to ride Muni: the underground. Riding above ground you’re just open to all manners of humanity and criminality and indecency, really. I missed that, so I was left with a double bus on Mission — the 14. Exactly. So I step into my carriage…I went to the back of the bus because that’s where the most interesting people are. So that’s where I sit, in solidarity with the interesting people.

On this night there was nobody in the back of the bus, so I sit down. Then I hear this rustling and I look down, and there is this little pile of fabric squirming on the floor. What is going on?! It took a minute and I realize it’s this little woman who was rubbing against everything, all up on the windows. It’s like when you’re on ecstasy and you really let yourself go. She’s not touching me because she has some manners. But she’s like touching the air, and I’m fascinated, and I’m just like, YES! I’m just gonna sit here and behold.

Watch the video to find out what happened in the rest of Kirk’s story.

Got a story of humanity, criminality, or indecency on the bus? You know where to send it.

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