Hardly Strictly Old
Photo by Mark
So, like, I was on the 71 Muni bus with my date Todd and this old lady gets on and stands in front of me cuz there’s no seats. So like I offered her mine. I said, “Do you want to sit down?” She was like, “I’m not that old.” Hella embarrassed! I had to giggle, I didn’t know what else to do. She was looking at her phone, then she said, “I’m laughing,” like, don’t worry about it.
…after a few stops some seats opened up and the old lady sat across from us. I mean I guess maybe I shouldn’t say old cuz she said she wasn’t but she had like hella gray hair and shit but she was wearing converse high-tops and purple tights and this kinda cool leather cuff with a picture of some chick stitched on it but I don’t know who it was.
Anyway, this kinda skeevy but kinda cool guy gets on and sits next to Todd and immediately starts asking people if they have a lighter. First the lady said no, then me and Todd. And then Todd says, “Oh, wait, I think I do.” He pulls this hella huge emergency kit out of his backpack and digs in and finds a lighter. The guy thanks him and lights up and pulls a puff off a glass pipe, trying to hide it behind Todd’s head! I couldn’t believe what was in this kit. Like, everything. I was dying, pulling everything out, Ace bandages, plastic syringes, everything! This kit weighed 10 pounds.
And then what happened was totally San Francisco and involves a flute of some kind, and a great photo of what transpired. Keep reading the story here.