Dad: Sorry my son puked on you on Muni

j-church

Say what you will about kids and their parents on public transit, this story might change your mind. Muni rider Nicolas wrote us this public apology:

Fellow J riders:

I’m so sorry. My 4-year old son projectile vomited on some of you at about 8:30 on February 3. We were inbound into Van Ness station, me standing, him on my left arm. No, I don’t normally hold 40-lb people but, as you heard, he was whining so I picked him up to comfort him and also to make your ride less unpleasant. You’re welcome. But I guess whining “I’m not going to make it” didn’t mean what I thought it meant.

The doors were seconds away from opening when he coughed. Well…it seemed like a cough. But there was stealth vomit behind the cough. The brunt of it landed on me (glasses, cheek, shirt, jacket, bag). If normal, it would have dribbled onto only me, but being the projectile variety, you folks within 2 feet got sprayed. I’m sorry.

I wish I could have apologized more but the doors were open by the time it landed.

But I did have a moment to look around to assess the damage.

I noticed you, Nicely Dressed Work Guy, sitting next to us with splatters of partially digested Eggo pancakes on your thighs. You smiled and said, “It’s okay. It’s okay.” Not polite but real genuine like maybe you’d been down this road before. Are you a dad? Just a nice guy? If you are not a dad, you should be. You’ve got the patience and sense of humor for it. Adopt or impregnate someone ASAP. Maybe we can be references for you on your Ok Cupid profile? (I’ve been married forever. Do people still use Ok Cupid? Either way, let us know. We will make you look good with prospects. We’d offer to vouch in person, but you probably don’t trust us now.)

I don’t know what I would have done if we had more time with you, victims of vomit. Offer to pay for dry cleaning? Buy you a drink? My son’s name is Seiji. He is good at making Ninja Turtle masks out of tin foil. Maybe you’d like some? If you see us again, let us know.

Until then, sorry,
Seiji’s Dad

On behalf of Muni Diaries, Seiji’s dad, we forgive you.

Photo by Transit Nerds

7 comments

  • Brooke

    Oooh lord. I would have had a full-blown anxiety attack over that, due to fears of his vomit being the super-infectious, norovirus kind. I’m curious if other folks in that car got sick later that day or the next?

  • Sara Sunshine Gaiser via Facebook

    God, I can so easily imagine this.

  • Vicki Fay via Facebook

    Been there.

  • Ariele Llorens via Facebook

    Poor kid

  • Maureen K. Persico via Facebook

    So glad the passengers were kind. The kid was sick, not malicious. Poor parent, poor kid, poor passengers. I’ve been there.

  • I am taken a back for his apology. I didnt think people cared about others any more. Just yesterday while sitting in a public area watching my dtr take a tumbling class, a 4 or 5 yr old boy proceeded to allow a nasty, cheeto stained ball of spit and mucous string from his mouth towards the space right in front of Me. Well, being who I am, I raised my voice and corrected him and his mom turned and said, oh, well he has a lot of drainage right now! Are u freaking kidding me! I would rather deal w the poor kid and dad on the muni. This kid was just a punk and his mom is ridiculous. Bet that excuse wouldnt work when he spits on her carpet! What a good dad and passengers. Nothing a little soap water and bleach cant fix.

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