An ode (of sorts) to bus drivers

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DSC02151
Photo by Flickr user Rubin 110

The righteous folk over at People Who Deserve It have unearthed their screed against what they dub Aggressively Anal Bus Driver. A choice cut of meat:

How about cutting the peeps a little slack Aggressively Anal Bus Driver? Stop yelling at people for paying in quarters, or coming near the yellow line, or for not being able to move any further into the armpit of the diabetic Hare Krishna. How about you just suffer in silence like the rest of us? Sound good?

Muni Diaries loves a diligent Muni driver as much as the next person. But we all know that some people in all walks of life end up taking their jobs a little too literally, and wind up coming across as just this type of jackass.

That said, isn’t it about time we all restore honor and dignity into the system with a “Thank you” when we deboard? Just sayin’.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs

More Hate for Fare Inspectors than for DPT?

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SF Muni Fare Machine - Boot Error C/U
Photo by Flickr user numlok™

We’ve gotten more than a few posts and pieces of mail complaining about fare inspectors. There was the so-called shaved-head fare inspector from hell. There was another story of a rider dumping her purse in an attempt to locate her proof of payment to the same shaved-head fare inspector from hell.

And today, a post from Muni rider Diq, who really stuck it to the man seems to think he had a clever idea for how to piss off fare inspectors:

As I approached the crowd of officers and the teenager, a clever idea came to my mind. I still had to get rid of October Fast Pass, and I already had my November pass. So I took out my October pass and just flicked it at the officer as I walked by without stopping. It didn’t hit him. It just flipped up in the air and zipped toward the ground.

Genius, that.

What we’re wondering is this: Why do fare-paying, Fast Pass-holding riders have such disdain for fare inspectors? You’re legit, eh? In our experience, it takes a total of about 2-point-something seconds to show your proof of payment. If many of us have Fast Passes and aren’t boarding at the back door, why do people hate fare inspectors so much? Are they the new DPT? Why the fuss?

Just off the top of our head, here are some relevant news stories:

Muni finds almost 10 percent cheat fares (SFGate)
Fare evaders cost Muni $19 million a year (Examiner)
Muni’s mid-year $45 million deficit (Streetsblog SF)

Now, we’re not necessarily here to argue how to fix Muni’s budget deficit. We’re simply pointing out that there is one, and that perhaps it’s only fitting that the agency would want to crack down on scofflaws when said scofflaws cost the system (and by extension, us) at least $19 million in missed fares.

Help us out here: Why do you hate fare inspectors?

Category: diaries, reflection

M-car Grinds the Lip at Van Ness Station

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This just in from Muni rider Christopher:

I was riding an M-car inbound today just around 2:30 PM. There was a strange K-KLAK sound of metal-on-metal between Church and Van Ness — like the streetcar had run over something on the tracks.

This being Muni, I thought nothing of it.

But as we arrived at Van Ness, the same noise repeated as the the streetcar entered the station. The M-car came to an ordinary halt, and the driver calmly asked everyone to disembark. That was when I noticed the front streetcar’s left main door was jammed open.

School-kids playing hooky flashed V-for-victory signs for their friends’ digital cameras in front of the huge side panel of the streetcar that was now folded unnaturally above the lip of the station’s boarding platform.

However it had come undone enough to impact whatever flipped it over the platform’s edge, the lock on the side of the streetcar had been torn through right through the panel.

To his credit, the Muni driver kept the situation mellow and casual.

I exited to the street and legged it to the 14 so as to avoid the crowd on the F-car.

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All images by Christopher Rogers

Category: News Tags: ,

Muni Recipes: Picnic Lunch a la 23

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Muni Picnic

Ingredients:

1 bag potato chips
1 jar Tostitos® brand Salsa Con Queso™ dip
1 tin sardines in oil
1 bag Skittles®, Fun Size™

Preparation:

Bring ingredients aboard any mid-Saturday 23-Monterey bus. For best results, board through back door without paying fare; take advantage of extra blind spots in new hybrid bus design to avoid scrutiny of driver. Take desirable seat in the front of the upper section, with good views, easy access to door. Be sure to take up both seats, even if you’re preparing your picnic lunch for just yourself.

Struggle to open Salsa Con Queso™ dip. Fail, owing to tight seal on lid. Smash bottom of jar on convenient grab rail until contents until it shears off, leasing cheese dip accessible.

Open bag of potato chips. Crumble a generous handful onto seat, sprinkling Salsa Con Queso™ to taste. Scoop out remaining Salsa Con Queso™ with remaining chips, alternating bites with sardines.

Finish presentation with Skittles®; leave bag on crumbled chip/dip covered seat, arranging so as to emphasize color and texture contrasts.

When finished, save preparation time on leftovers by drizzling remaining oil from sardine tin on floor; spread into patterns with bottom of shoe.

Serves one. Or two, if dainty.

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs, WTF: Weirdness on Muni

Drag on the F Train

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F Dean and Dam
Dean Disaster and Dam. Photo by Daniel Filipkowski.

The following account was submitted by Dee Leit-ful! God, I love San Francisco …

On October 11th, a dozen drag queens and kings descended on Market Street for the Hoku Mama Swamp Drag Parade. Starting at the Powell Turnaround, we performed drag numbers to a boom box and marched around the swarms of tourists giving them an eye full of realness. We went up and down the escalators in the Westfield Mall and marched up Powell and down Turk to stop at Aunt Charlie’s.

Then the Muni fun began because we all piled onto an F train heading to the Castro at 6th and Market.

No homophobic or transphobic comments were made, probably because of the sheer number and size of us.

Then, after exiting the F Train we did a few more drag numbers at the 17th and Castro plaza, followed by the Bank of America Plaza and ending at the Edge for more booze.

Daniel Filipkowski clears the F
Daniel Filipkowski clears the F

Dean Disaster on the F
Dean Disaster on the F

L Ron Hubby on the F
L Ron Hubby on the F

Oxana Olsen and Daniel Filipkowski on the F
Oxana Olsen and Daniel Filipkowski on the F

Pink Feather and Honey Mahogany on the F
Pink Feather and Honey Mahogany on the F

Vivvianne Forevermore and Tourist on F
Vivvianne Forevermore and Tourist on F

All photos but top by Bear Z. Bub

Category: diaries, Photos, reflection Tags:

BART Bucket Head

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photo

This photo was shot well before Halloween, but that mere fact doesn’t stop some people. BART rider Kath, who sent it to us, has the following to say:

Hey guys, taking a break from my usual Muni submissions to forward the attached picture I just received from my co-worker. I give you: BART Bucket Head!

Perhaps chicken bucket as an effective means for masking the typical BART car odor?

Category: BART, diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, Photos
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