Doth Thy Sonically Offend?

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From the Muni Diaries submission inbox:

Does this look like a guy who’d be blaring his music on the 21-Hayes? If you think no, you’d be right. I was sitting three seats cattycorner to the man, and I didn’t even know he had earplugs on. But the guy across from him (picture not shown) quietly sidled up and asked him to turn down his tunes. Totally astounded, the pseudo non-offender replied “really?” and subsequently dialed down the volume.

One stop later, two very loud gentlemen got on the bus and talked in decibels loud enough to make a deaf man flinch. Did the sound-sensitive guy ask these two to turn down their pitch? Nope.

Which got me wondering: How do we physically perceive the difference between electronic noise and human noise? Both can be offensive and settling in their own ways.

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Category: Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

Testicles on the 22-Fillmore

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Guy on the MUNI

From the Muni Diaries submission inbox:

New to the city, I knew nothing of how legendarily crazy the 22 was. In my first week here I found out:

One evening coming back from work, I was minding my own business on the 22 when an extremely overweight man, probably in his 50’s, got on board around 16th and Folsom. He was wearing flip flops, extremely tight hot pants and a scarf. That’s it. It was 50 degrees out.

So I’m thinking, ok, sit wherever you want, but just don’t sit in front of me. And so he does just that. And as he sits down, KERPLOP!, go his balls right of the hotpants. Of course, these pants were so undersized that adjusting didn’t even seem like an option under consideration. No, instead he ever so gracefully draped his scarf over his manhood and rode in peace.

Umm… yeah.

After that incident I bought my bike, vowing to avoid Muni like the plague. [Ed. note: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!]

I have subsequently seen this man three times in the past year (though, thankfully, never on Muni). While he wasn’t wearing the hot pants, on each occasion he did have that sort-of, crazy disheveled look to him that has been burned into the recess of my memory.

If you see public genitalia, or anything else you find worthy of a Muni story, send it to us!

Photo by Flickr user grubbybastard

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

Hot Operator Voice

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bart train
Photo by Flickr user drain

This charming story is by Suzanne

I always cringe if I end up on the N-Judah headed toward Caltrain with the conductor who likes to announce the 2nd and King stop as: “home to the house that Barry built.” I curse him for making me think about Barry Bonds, drugs, and the corporate sports machine so early in the morning.

There are many Muni voices we love and hate to recognize. Who hasn’t heard the announcer who draws out the broken elevator messages into three-minute pronouncements more fitting for a get-you-in-the-mood Motown record? Then there’s that BART conductor who takes on the role of airport commissary when en route to SFO, and city ambassador when at Powell. He has a zingy, upbeat, professional voice that is not wholly unpleasant.

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Category: BART, reflection

About the Chicken Story (and Perils of Running a User-Generated Site)

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I was standing on the side of the stage at the Make-Out Room last Friday at Riders with Drinks when our emcee Suzanne brought up four members of the audience to tell their own Muni story. As one of the audience members began to tell a story about an Asian (Chinese?) woman bringing a live chicken on the bus, I cringed. The story sounded uncomfortably familiar.

In the story, the bus driver tells the woman that live animals are not allowed on board. NonplussedUnaffected, she snaps the chicken’s neck and boards the bus.

Minutes later another writer in the audience approached us and echoed my discomfort: This story sounded remarkably like an urban legend she had heard before.  When it was time to give away a prize to the best storyteller, the audience chanted, “Chicken! Chicken!” I felt even more uncomfortable. In the chaos of running an event, we did not have a chance to intervene on stage, but the “chicken story” stayed in my mind all weekend.

A little internet search showed that various forms of the “chicken story” has been circulating the city for a few years. But if an audience member said that she witnessed the story first-hand, isn’t that the end of story?

Not for us.

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Category: reflection Tags:

Another Douche on the M-Train

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the muni - a world unto itself

Muni rider William has some choice words for “another douche on the M-train.” He sent us this story:

So, short and simple: I’m sitting on the M-train minding my own business when all of a sudden I hear a guy shout out at me, “Stare somewhere else, dude.”

At the time I had been looking toward his side of the train but just daydreaming and gazing around. What do you expect people to do when they are on the bus? Sure I could read a paper, but it’s 6:30 a.m. and I get my paper when I get to work. Even if I had headphones like most people do, they are still typically facing upward and looking around. Furthermore, you were just sitting there gazing forward as well–therefore, you were likely inadvertently staring at someone else on the train.

Technically you were staring at me if you even happened to be looking at me supposedly staring at you. Quite frankly you were nothing that would even be worthwhile to look at. If I wanted to be staring at someone I would definitely be staring at more attractive people on the train, and just considering I am a straight male I would have been looking at an attractive female if I was actually gonna stare at someone. Don’t flatter yourself. If you can’t stand people looking around on public transportation I have some advice for you — get off!

Had a strange or funny incident on Muni or BART lately? Tell your story here.

Photo by Flickr user *christopher*

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: ,

Mohawk Town

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mohawk-on-muni

From our inbox from a Muni rider:

Last night I took the K to West Portal. I don’t know when she got on the train because I was busy playing with the new apps on my blackberry, but sometime between Forest Hill and West Portal I looked up and saw her. She looked like a beautiful, swirly and colorful cartoon. She had stars and swirly things painted on her face. She had fake flowers tucked into her mohawk. I’m so glad I put down my crackberry and enjoyed the ride.

Saw something intriging on the bus? Email us at muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com.

Category: Aww: Cute on Muni Tags:
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