Funny: Muni LOLs

What’s grosser than gross on Muni?

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Photo by bianca francesca

Muni: The gift that keeps giving. Just when you think you’ve seen, heard, and smelled it all, along comes …

  • Man on #Muni weaving yarn presumably from an untidy wad of pet hair, but I could be wrong.
  • It smells of fish and Chanel No. 5 on this bus. #sfmuni
  • old man’s beard completely white except for the part around his mouth. He must eat a lot of mustard. #SFMuni
  • When you realize you have a banana in yr pocket and are squeezed on #SFMuni. Squishy banana the breakfast of champions
  • Ok, which one of you shit your pants? This train smells awful. #SFMuni #SFMTA

This week’s Things on Muni is brought to you by fellow Muni riders @AkraticBehavior, @Tarano40, @patrykwolff, @DaneYoshida, and @Heather__Ilene. Don’t keep the disgust to yourself: Vent at @munidiaries!

The Onion, Muni Edition

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Oh, The Onion is drawing inspiration from life in San Francisco again with, “Man with Serious Mental Illness Committed to Bus.” Sure, this could prompt a revisit to the piss-pillow incident of 2014 or rightful hand-wringing over the state of mental-health services. But let’s focus on these things instead:

  • Every now and then, a driver will totally look out for all involved when a visibly “disturbed” man is caressing his tool (not what you think) on the bus.
  • I don’t care who you are, an apparently harmless person yelling “My enemy is my enema!” is strangely poetic and kind of a thinker. And it makes for a pretty memorable bus ride, if you ask me.
  • Finally, a tweet from @sdquali that kind of sums it all up: “Bruised, in suits and hoodies, wasted, homeless, coding the side project, making out in the backseat. 38 is how S.F. goes home.”

Image above via The Onion

10 Best Sleeping Positions on Muni

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If naps have health benefits, these Muni riders are wasting no time in taking advantage of a little shut-eye. Besides, how sweet are these guys in the photo above, catching some Zs while waiting for the bus? (Photo by @sfgiff).

Here are 10 of the best sleeping positions we found of Muni riders getting comfortable on their commute. In fact, most of these peeps look so comfy, what are the chances they sleep through their stop?

10. This stylish gentleman manages to look dapper while dozing.
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Photo by msjones_in_sf
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‘Showing your tits’ on Muni

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I had never seen one of these bags in the wild (a.k.a. the Muni catwalk). I had only passed by them (and giggled like a little girl) at Gravel and Gold in the Mission. Now, lookee there. Boobs!

Whether it’s spirited debate over breastfeeding on the 71 or avoiding a grabby pervert on the 2-Clement, Muni is a pro-boobs kind of place. Here’s to hoping that all of our boobs (actual or printed) travel safely on the bus, and that will be the last time I write boobs in this post.

…boobs. (OK, I’ll stop.)

Via Muni rider Steven: “Woman on #muni has boob bag to get her there in style”

Muni in 2015: Same as it ever was

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What did you expect, that a new year would somehow change the very essence of what it means to ride Muni? Yer too cute.

  • Watching Botox face rub smelly lotion over the hands of her lover, is this actually happenin?! #44
  • lady version of leg spreaders: women who insist on crossing legs on a crowded bus, and KEEP KICKING MY LEG. #SFMuni
  • My child just licked the handrail on the 30. He had a good run. #MuniDiaries #Muni
  • Lose-Lose: Being the person furiously scratching your head & ears on Muni or not-at-all-subtly leaning away from said person.
  • Sitting between a guy in a skull mask and a guy rolling a joint #onlyonmuni

2015’s first Things on Muni is brought to you by your partners in Muni crime @efwjames, @ImekaSF, @abjornsen, @lkroner, and @emflannery1. Follow Muni Diaries on Twitter for a chance at the gold.

Photo by Lynn Friedman.