Too Much Sex, Read Your Bible

Study_the_bible
Photo by Flickr user frantikgirl

I think the old adage about full moons bringing the crazies out is not true in San Francisco — I think the heat brings them out. So this morning’s sunny skies meant something good would be happening on the 45.

Once we dropped off all the Marina girls and the old ladies on Market Street and headed toward SOMA I noticed what appeared to be a late middle-aged man with a cane and a bible. Now, in most places, a bible is not necessarily a sign that you’re crazy, but on Muni a bible might as well be a straitjacket. Almost immediately he starts yelling really loudly, spit flying.

“Read your bibles, you’re all going to hell. Too much sex, read your bible. Only Jesus will survive the tsunami and save you from hell, it’s in the bible. Stop gay marriage, read your bible. Your generation is going to hell, read the bible.”

Most of the bus just ignores Angry Bible Guy, but this woman (who didn’t look quite all there) gets up and gets right in his face yelling, “Who are you to be telling us to read the bible, maybe you’re going to hell.”

Angry Bible Guy responds, “Act like a woman, read the bible.”

To which she tells him, “Act like a man, I bet you have a small pecker.”

Then they just start simultaneously screaming at one another until you can’t understand anything but him screaming, “Read your bible” and her imitating an ape with sound effects and a little ape dance.

Finally, the bus driver comes over the loud speaker, “Sir, Lady, you need to keep it down. Pipe down back there.” The screaming continued as I got off the bus. Oh, Lord, lease don’t let it get much hotter, I may have to take a cab.

3 comments

  • a couple of things:

    1) i think san francisco brings the crazies out, period.

    2) i love this woman. not only is she dead-right, cheers to her for standing up and speaking out against this self-righteous, proselytizing asshole creep punk fuck. even if he was just simply off his rocker, dude needed to be shut down.

  • Daishin

    I think some of the crazier christians like SF because people actually allow them the freedom to espouse their madness. San Franciscans are so respectful of diversity, we let others be as “out there” as they need to be. I generally think of the righteous christians preaching as street theater. Satan bless ’em!

  • eugenia

    Usually when I see these self righteous bible peddlers, nobody stands up to them, so I am ever so entertained to read that this woman schooled him proper!

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