Category: Funny: Muni LOLs

Muni Employee Quote of the Month

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Cole Valley Ghost Train
Photo by engnr_chik

Muni rider Jessica sends in this report from Cole Valley:

I was eager to jump on my daily N Judah this morning after 4 days away in the east coast snow. As I’m riding along, we pull up to the Carl and Cole stop and the driver yells something to Neon-Vest-Muni-Guy-On-Sidewalk. Neon walks up to the door shaking his head and says “It’s not your fault man. It’s Muni. We are a sinking ship!”

Wait a minute. This guy works for muni and is calling out his own employer- in front of a bus full of people! At least they acknowledge the downward spiral. They say you have to hit rock bottom before it gets better, but how much farther is the bottom? I hope for our sake and Muni’s that this boat stays afloat because I have to get to work! Think positive Muni, the sun will come out tomorrow.

We all get to gripe about work a little, especially when you’re feeling disgruntled. Too bad this MTA employee was overheard by a diligent Muni Diaries reader. We can’t help but wonder if the exchange was sparked by the Muni operators and their union’s rejection of the concession proposal to help MTA balance its spiraling deficit. In any event, I’m with you, Jessica, on the Muni-please-stay-afloat thing.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, reflection Tags:

Caption the NextBus Sign Malfunction

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Am I the only one who always asks, “Why didn’t I think of that?” after reading the New Yorker cartoon caption contest week after week?

Well, I hereby commence the NextBus Caption Contest, which is a lot less elitist and won’t make you feel bad at all. Thanks to Muni’s malfunctions, we’ve received more than a few pictures of NextBus signs begging for a line, like the one above from Jeff D at Spots Unknown

Along with the photos, several of you also sent in some suggested captions:

“SOS…SOS…SOS…SOS…SOS” – Daishin from a previous post

“Dear Muni, maybe switch back to the Roman alphabet now?” – Jeff D., who wonders if the sign is in Morse code.

“7 minutes…just kidding! The bus is here!” – Jeff H.

“Hello Earthlings, welcome to Planet Muni.” – Amy C.

“MUNI: FML” – Ashlee B.

Got a caption for this NextBus hiccup?

By the way, if you are still itching to win the New Yorker‘s caption contest, Slate has some tips. Think Farley the Gatekeeper still works there? I hope not, because I totally want his job. And check out Kirk’s hate-love relationship with NextBus, a diary from Monday.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs

14-Mission birth control?

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14-Mission in Daly City, December 7, 2008
Photo by /\/\ichael Patric|{

Yesterday, we read a little piece on SFGate about the worst places in the Bay Area to go into labor. Unsurprisingly, DMV beat all contenders as the least appealing place to bring a new life into the world (we’re pretty sure DMV might clean up at the Least Desirable Awards Show, but that’s another story).

Perhaps also to no real alarm, Muni made the list. No. 2, in fact. And not just any bus or Metro line. No, special disdain is reserved for the 14-Mission like it is for no other line in town. Does that have anything to do with the fact that there’s more (reported) crime on the 14-Mission than any other? Not that we’re scratching our heads at this result.

But it does make us wonder: What are some other dubious Muni awards you can think of? Worst line to make out on. Worst line to take to a fancy date. Worst line to use for grocery shopping. Share your ideas in the comments, please.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, WTF: Weirdness on Muni Tags: , ,

Video diary: Catching the Z train

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Video by Flickr user Mike Monteiro

We asked a few weeks ago for a show of hands: Who’s fallen asleep on Muni? It’s not like a major confession or anything. Amid the racket and ruckus that often defines our public transit system, some of us (I’d bet a lot more than would admit) doze off from time to time.

Like the fella in the video above. I really love his rocking motion. Even as adults, we’re basically infants. Sweet dreams, merry F passenger.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: ,

Ladies Waiting for Muni, Be Warned: Pickup Artist Bootcamp this Saturday

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Jim Herd from San Francisco Citizen sent us this warning that “day time dating expert” Jeremy Soul is holding a one-day Pickup Artist Bootcamp this Saturday, when they will go out on the streets and find some hot ladies in the Union Square area. Specifically, the advertisement suggests that the smooth talkers find themselves a hot date on Muni.

Yeah. You read that right. More from Jim:

All right, here’s the elevator pitch for Saturday’s workshop. And, oh yes, “tram” is English English for MUNI.

“Find a HOT Date next time you’re on the Tram! Find out how.

Modern men lead such fast paced urban lifestyles they don’t have time to go out after work and meet women. Through a combination of classroom and in-field training, men can learn the latest skills and techniques to meet, attract and date beautiful women in any setting during the day – all in about 8 hours!

“Meeting women in daytime environments, aka Day Game, is scary to most men. But Jeremy Soul and his elite team of Day Game coaches have spent years learning this skill and can teach it to you.”

(Read more about this on SFCitizen, including a link to Jeremy Soul’s promo video. At your own risk, ok?)

Oh “Pickup Artists.” That is so…2005. According to SF Citizen, the classes are $1500 per person. The classes look like they are only for hetero males (yes, ladies, lucky us). When a reporter joined Jeremy Soul for one of his day time bootcamps, Mr. Soul reportedly charmed a woman on the street by commenting on her “smooth skin.” Creepy!

I wonder what Mr. Soul would say about this pickup line:

“Is your shirt expensive? Because you look so hot in it, I would totally rip it off of you right now, and I would totally replace it, if it’s not too expensive.”

True story. Someone actually used this pickup line on me and I nearly peed my pants in delight thinking about retelling it to my girlfriends. And this Saturday, ladies, you’ll have the same opportunity. If you spot any of the Pickup Artists Bootcampers, be sure to tell us about it. I can hardly wait.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, News
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