One Muni rider was recently privy to a scene that was nothing like the Sunday school you remember:
This guy on the 38R has a blunt in his ear, is taking pulls from a bottle of Patron, and is reading the New Testament aloud to his trans woman friend. They’re legit having bible study. This is wild. Even for 11 pm in The Fillmore.
He just got to the part where Judas hanged himself. “That’s crazy, huh.” The woman is falling asleep. Just when you think you’ve seen everything…
Now they’re at the part where Peter denied Jesus three times. He’s surprisingly empathetic. “I mean, I get it. If hella people would have been mad at me for being his friend, I wouldn’t have said anything either.”
They got off on Masonic. I have so many questions. I feel like Ed Norton when he met Tyler Durden in Fight Club. They were the most interesting single-serving friends I’ve ever met.
I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of want this guy to tell me his version of the rest of the Bible. For now, I’ll have to tide over things with this Simpsons Bible Stories episode, I guess.
Want more Muni hilarity? Muni Diaries Live returns this Saturday, April 6, 2019 at Rickshaw Stop! Tickets are over here this way.
Tostitos apparently trademarked “Get Together Already” (a discussion for a different day), an imperative one Muni rider took to heart. One passenger on a 9-San Bruno was so keen on bringing the party, they left this lid and assorted snack detritus behind. Yes, it’s rude and messy, but this decidedly urban still-life gave me pause and I didn’t hate it.
In some Sliding Doors parallel universe, the lid meets the bowl of milk on Muni (seriously), the discarded durian, and the party is brought for real.
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Nobody wants to be that person holding the door open and breaking Muni, alarm blaring, multiple pairs of eyes throwing daggers, so this is generally good advice.
But rider Dave on the Muni Diaries Facebook page noticed that something might be lost in translation on this sign. The Chinese translation of “Please do not hold the doors” actually reads, “Please do not support or help the doors.”
(Well, the door might need a little help in the form of riders collectively yelling “Step down!”)
Being Chinese-speaking myself, I think the word “扶” can also mean “to physically hold.” Could the translation also be interpreted as, “Please do not lean on the doors”?
Chinese-speaking riders, help us out: what should the sign really say?
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Every day is a new opportunity to find something left on Muni that’s truly weird, possibly gross, and definitely appealing to our inner 13-year-old humor. There’s that bowl of milk that someone abandoned on the bus, then there’s the friendly leopard left waiting at the Muni stop. Today’s find is of an intimate sort. On Twitter, rider Kiley (@kilodeer) hipped the SFMTA to this item left at the bus stop:
Hey @sfmta_muni@SF311, you might want to come collect the wiggling dildo someone left at Filmore and Jackson, outbound on the 22-Filmore. (Stop 14623) This is the most San Francisco thing ever. Also, I’m sorry. @munidiaries
Kiley tells the SFMTA that they should be glad she only posted a photo of this dildo and not the video. Well, here at Muni Diaries headquarters, we are not one to let opportunities pass us by! Kiley kindly sent us the actual video of said wiggling dildo. Behold and also NSFW and whatnot:
“She faced the man squarely, looking directly into his eyes and telling him firmly, ‘You have no reason to threaten this woman.'”
Rider Ramona watched a brave woman defend another rider from a verbal attack; here’s her eyewitness account:
Down in the spookiness of the Forest Hill station, a man in a trench coat suddenly loomed up and started shouting at an older woman waiting for an inbound train. As he lunged toward her, hurling threats, Heidy suddenly appeared.
Heidy quickly stepped in between them, turning first to the woman, looking her in the eye and asking, “Are you OK?” The woman nodded and stepped back.
Keeping her body between the woman and the agitated man, Heidy now turned her attention to him. She faced the man squarely, looking directly into his eyes and telling him firmly, “You have no reason to threaten this woman.”
The man’s anger was now focused on Heidy. She held her ground, not moving. Whenever he shouted something, she spoke back to him firmly but respectfully.
Eventually he backed off and sat down on a bench. He was still shouting, but as he lay down, his anger got more specific: “I have no money! And I’m hungry!”
Pause.
“I’m sorry to hear that, sir,” said Heidy. “I don’t have any food. But would you like the last of my coffee? It’s just cold coffee, but you can have it.”
“I don’t want coffee. I need food!”
Pause.
“I’m sorry, sir.”
Pause.
“I hope you get it.”
The train rolled into the station, and the man was now calm enough to board without threatening others.
There is food to be had, and he was headed down to get some. But, as I saw it, Heidy had given him something much greater: she SAW him. She showed him respect despite his outrageous behavior, but she wouldn’t let him get away with victimizing an innocent person. She held him to a higher standard, and this eventually caused him (despite his fragile mental state) to focus back on his real needs.
I approached her on the train and told her, “Thank you for what you did. That was a textbook example of how to handle that situation.”
“Oh, thank you,” she said. “I try. I figure if you live in the city, you can’t leave your house and be afraid. These are valuable skills to have.”
Indeed.
And…I want to be her when I grow up.
On the Muni Diaries Twitter feed and inbox, we’ve seen many stories of riders standing up for one another, including when an entire group of women formed a line of defense, and when fellow riders refused to tolerate body shaming. But it takes something special to truly see people, even at their worst. Kind of gives you hope for humanity, doesn’t it?
Editor’s note 6/30/22: Rawiyah has updated their name and pronouns since we recorded this podcast in 2016. We’re reposting the updated blog post and old audio with their permission.
Storyteller Rawiyah Tariq has often experienced the invasion of personal space on public transit, but this one time they decided enough was enough, and they were going to take up the space they deserve.
Rawiyah is a Black, gender non-binary, fat, disabled and neurodivergent artist and kink aware professional. Their roots are in queer, poly-amorous, fat community. Their tone is reflective of these roots and their work is informed by how these intersect with their Blackness. Magic, massage, storytelling and performance art are tools they use to liberate, heal, and reclaim space for marginalized communities. They believe in cohesive and somatic healing and holding practices that align body, mind and spirit.
Rawiyah is 2022s Modern Witches’ Witch in Residence as well as the Queer Cat Productions 2022 artist grant recipient. You can also catch them in the films Fattitude and Heavenly Brown Bodies. Currently, they are living in the Bay Area while working on their book and their wellness and holding practice (A Sovereign Embodiment) where they provide ritual creation, divination, heart holding and coaching.
