BART shares common-sense etiquette rules

Because some adults need help chewing their food and tying their shoelaces, BART has put together this tutorial on how not to be an asshole.

A list of no-shit BART rules of thumb:

  • 0:20: Look for emptier cars in front or in the back of your train.
  • 0:30: Form a line behind the “do not cross this line or you will die” yellow markers.
  • 0:37: Get the fuck out of the way so that people on the train can off-board. See also: elevators.
  • 0:47: Don’t crowd the door area when there are empty spaces like, three feet away down the aisle.
  • 0:57: (everyone’s favorite) Take your goddam backpack off when you’re standing up! And don’t make us tell you again!
  • 1:09: Don’t put your feet on the seat or we will beat you to a bloody pulp.
  • 1:16: Give up your seat unless you want us to brand your forehead with “asshole” writ large.
  • 1:25: Stack bikes when there are more than one. And don’t block the door or aisle with your bike, mkay?
  • 1:36: Unless you’re a masochist who enjoys torture by mob, don’t hold the doors open.

There you have it. Thanks, BART. Now we no longer have to deal with any of these transgressions ever again, right?

Did you think they were going to use TLC’s “No Scrubs” as the soundtrack, also? Because at first, I thought they might just use “No Scrubs” as the soundtrack.

Tools with blades on the 6-Parnassus

6_Parnassus
Photo by Ian Fuller

Things that make you go “huh” and bonus Muni-operator kudos, via Muni rider Vicki:

“At about 10:30 am the other day, on the Outbound 6, at Haight and Buena Vista West: Delusional guy next to me is fondling a “tool” with a 12″ blade, caressing it lovingly for 10 minutes. The new driver, a woman and her trainer, a man, unbeknownst to me, had the whole thing totally handled. A motorcycle cop boarded and smoothly talked this disturbed guy off of the bus, without a problem. I think the bus # was 5417, not sure, but they were all on it! Kudos to that trainer who very coolly pretended to ignore the guy so as not to incite him.”

First of all, so rarely does “fondling,” “tool,” and “caressing” show up in the same submission without it meaning the other thing. And so rarely does anything with a 12-inch blade go well for anyone on a Muni bus. Well done, driver and trainer for spotting a potential problem before it became a real problem.

Hey, guess what, Vicki posted this on the Muni Diaries Facebook page. Aren’t you totally inspired to post your own story, whether it involves tool fondling or some other eyebrow-raising activity? Yeah, I am basically trying to get “tool fondling” into this post as much as possible because I’m 12 years old.

Transit News: Kids free on Muni, hot BART cars, tech shuttles, BART SFO anniversary

news7
Photo by Lynn Friedman

  • Supervisor wants to expand Muni’s “Kids Ride Free” plan (SFGate)
  • Too-hot cars make BART riders steamed; updates under way (SFGate)
  • Supervisor Campos takes credit for Muni youth program (SF Bay)
  • Activists, union challenge Google bus pilot program (SF Bay Guardian)
  • Anniversary party for BART SFO extension stalls indefinitely (SFGate)

Your Weekend Transit Advisory: Unveiling “Caruso’s Dream”

Oh hey, here’s your weekend transit advisory from the SFMTA. Nothing too exciting happening this weekend except for some street repairs and unveiling an art installation called “Caruso’s Dream.” Be sure to check if your line’s affected by the repair work.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Repair and Maintenance Projects
Beginning at 9 p.m., Friday through 4 a.m., Sunday, crews from the SFMTA, San Francisco Public Utilities Commission, Department of Public Works and PG&E will perform maintenance work along Market Street and at various locations:
Market Street between Fremont and 3rd streets
Market Street at 1st Street
Spear Street at Market Street
Spear Street at Mission Street
Kearny Street between Post and Market streets
3rd Street between Market and Mission streets
There will be no street closures required for this project.

The following Muni lines and routes will be affected during the course of the work:
Read more

A snapshot of your world on Muni

things
Photo by torbakhopper

A quick reminder before your weekend gets under way: We’re all in this together. Enjoy!

  • Of all the food that people eat on public transportation, oranges offend me the least. #munidiaries
  • How fortunate I am to have a #SFMuni expert right next to me on the L.
  • “This is end of the line, Mother Fucker. End of the line!” — #sfmuni patron and member of the Muni peer assistance program.
  • Just witnessed a 75+ year old man yell “suck my dick, bitch” at the muni driver. #wut #sfmuni
  • Bruised, in suits and hoodies, wasted, homeless, coding the side project, making out in the backseat. 38 is how S.F. goes home
  • I found my style icon in my bus! She was 70 years old. #sfmuni

This week’s Things on Muni brought to you by fellow Muni riders @esavestheworld, @SFkaty, @stevepepple, @SierraUnsworth, @sdqali, and @divya. Share your Muni musings on @munidiaries.

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