A call for no pants

My pantsless legs on MUNI
Photo by Flickr user nelz9999

It’s that time of year: Time to ride BART and Muni with no pants on and freak out all the grannies and grampses riding on a Sunday afternoon.

What follows is organizers’ Improve Everywhere’s Facebook page devoted to this Sunday’s event. Rather than linking to FB and making many of you sign in or sign up, we’ve gone ahead and pasted it all here. Remember: the organizers do not want those participating in the ride to do anything conspicuous like take photos. We’re honoring that request, and not asking you for any. Instead, we’ll do our best to round some up early next week. SFW, natch.

All are invited to participate in the 9th Annual No Pants! Subway Ride. The event will take place starting 1:30 PM on Sunday January 10.

REQUIREMENTS FOR PARTICIPATION:

1) Willing to take pants off on subway
2) Able to keep a straight face about it
3) At least $5 for the BART/MUNI rides and some extra for bar/etc.
(or a fast past)

If you are unfamiliar with the No Pants Subway Ride, read the history at Improve Everywhere.

THE PLAN:

Pittsburg/Bay Point train, times below.

Go to the station of your choice, before the scheduled train arrives. If you can, arrive with no pants (if you are bringing pants for later, have them in a bag or otherwise concealed; if you need to, discreetly take your pants off in the station before getting on the train). Then get on the train when it arrives. Act casual. Don’t take pictures, if you can help it. Try not to notice the other pantsless people, unless someone points them out to you. If asked, pretend you have no idea why everyone else has no pants. See the improv everywhere page if you need ideas on why /you’re/ not wearing pants.

This is the new revised schedule; if you can plan on boarding from the other stations that are suggested, PLEASE DO. The more spread out we are the better.

1:47 San Bruno
1:51 SSF
1:54 Colma
1:58 Daly City
2:01 Balboa Park<-Last names that start with A-H
2:04 Glen Park
2:07 24th & mission<-Last names that start with I-P
2:09 16th & mission
2:11 Civic Center<-last names that start with Q-Z
2:13 Powell
2:14 Montgomery
2:16 Embarcadero <—we all exit

After we exit on embarcadero, we will proceed to MUNI and go from there. Our goal is to be by MUNI by 2:30 After this our new adventure will begin!!!

Let the search for the pants lead you! Wear comfortable shoes and bring some extra cash. Once again try and refrain from taking pictures, the more it looks that we just forgot pants the better. There will be plenty of photographers that are spectating for us. I know its going to be hard not to take pictures, but at least tone it down 🙂

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The last year event page and all the details/pictures we posted:

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=41689368279&index=1

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The main stop everyone boarded on was @ 16th and mission but I’d like to have it more spread out this year so everyone isn’t getting on at the same stop. If some could disperse to 24th and mission that would be great. (the more spread out we are the better)

Remember that you might want to bring pants for later in case it does get cold. The forecast is a high of 58 so we are looking good so far.

I’ll update this more this week. Thanks and hope to see everyone in their best attire.
—————————————————————————————
THESE INSTRUCTION ARE FOR EAST BAY ONLY DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE ON THE SF BAY SIDE
*EAST BAYERS*
You are very important too, so make sure you come. It would be great if you would arrive on this train or around 2:16 so the confusion of both trains in the station emptying out with pants-less passengers.

1:27 Concord
1:32 Pleasant Hill
1:35 Walnut Creek
1:39 Layafette
1:44 Orinda
1:50 Rockridge
1:55 McAuthur
1:58 19th & Oakland
1:59 12th & Oakland
2:03 West Oakland
2:11 Embarcadero< exit here
Our train will arrive a couple minutes later so just wait for us.

Vivek-

Pleasant surprises

Rider Alert
Photo by Telstar Logistics

It’s hard out there for an urban lady. You get cat-calls on your way to work, then you get yelled at all the way down the block for ignoring them. You turn around and look at everyone walking behind you, conveying to even the innocents that you could identify them in a lineup if you had to. It’s a part of a semi-automatic routine adopted for our various journeys throughout town. So pardon us if we’re a little suspicious of any and all people, particularly males, if we’re waiting for the bus.

So there’s this tall, larger, older-to-middle-age guy standing at the 14-Mission/49-Van Ness/former 26-Valencia stop on Otis Street. He’s got a little bag of presents in a tote bag, a receptacle that, for some reason, was not capable of holding the many items he had dangling around his neck. FastPass. Keys. Other card-type things. He’d probably have a troll on there if he could. His jeans are hiked up beyond his gut, resting comfortably around his chest. His vibe was a little off, right from the get-go. But a lot of people in SF are a little off; the question, as always, remains as to whether he was silly-off or dangerous-off.

He turns and asks me and Jeff, Mr. Muni Diaries, about the 26, after realizing on his own that it wasn’t in service anymore. His conversational rhythm came with lengthy, continued stares once you’ve answered his questions. He didn’t turn and look away at anything while he was talking. He didn’t turn around and see if the bus was down the street. While he stared our faces raw, he explained how he had many VHS tapes he was attempting to convert; had a little machine and everything. We basically ran into Milton from Office Space.

Less than a minute into this conversation, I did what any urban lady (or gentleman) does: suspiciously attempt to figure out whether this stranger is dangerous or just weird. The resulting train of thought, for those of us who weren’t Green Berets, is actually an amazing one, I must say. It can prompt everything from laughter, to embarrassment, to relief, to further suspicion, in the span of a minute, unlike any other learned or innate behavior.

“…what’s he staring at?” > “Hmm, could he be sizing me up for his freezer at home?” > “Does he have anything sharp?” > “What’s his expression like…you can always tell these psycho killers from their eyes, right?” > “Ah. Harmless.” It was a pleasant surprise, one that did make me feel a little silly (Who’s afraid of Milton? Turns out I am.)

But I really wouldn’t have it any other way if I’m going to keep (and I will) calling this wacky place home. Thanks, evolution.

Your day in BART tweets

No lights on the Bay Bridge
Photo by Flickr user engnr_chik

All hell is breaking loose on the Bay Bridge, of course. Well, maybe not all hell. And not even all of the bridge. But shit is broken, and transbay commuters faced a choice this morning: Play hooky, or “brave it” on BART. Here are some of the more amusing tweets we found on this topic:

trebledmind Bay Bridge closure – planning for it = Crowded BART + stink

SFcalafia Lots of clueless BART riders today.

connortmcdonald Ooohh look at the adorable newbie BART riders b/c the Bay Bridge is closed/falling down. So cute when they forget to hold on.

morgandodge Overheard on BART: “Is there a nurse on this car?” Turns out there was and someone had passed out. I cannot drink this coffee fast enough.

itsjustgoldie BART was tight this morning. It was warm tho, better than the cold. But it felt like hot-mouth warmth, not heater warmth. *blorf*

Buttagood4you just because I didn’t give up my seat at bart does not mean I don’t have manners!

MrsGrams RT @someglory: Heard on BART: “I hear one of the major bridges is closed.”

HeyBarmold It’s like the Bay Bridge closed itself on purpose just to spite me. What’s got two thumbs and is stoked about the rookies on BART? This guy.

Here are some transit alternatives to BART, the alternative to trying to drive across a shut-down bridge.

Meanwhile, BART is offering a chance to win $100 by taking a bridge-closure survey. And Zog’s in San Francisco is offering free hot dogs to anyone with a BART ticket today.

As always, feel free to send your gripes and other observations to us here. Or email us here.

The why/where/how of fare inspectors

Bustin the hobo.
Photo by Flickr user WeMeantDemocracy

It’s easy for us law-abiding, government-loving socialists to cheer when Muni fare inspectors show up on the bus. And cheer I did this week, when an alpha fare-inspector and her two ticket-wielding comrades showed up on my 47-Van Ness a couple days ago and handed out at least two tickets.

Though some drivers do have the time and desire to come up with creative punishments for fare-jumping, it’s understandable that most of them do not. Enter fare inspectors. Though one guy in front of me complained about Big Brother watching us, I personally don’t think it counts as some kind of police state if the law-enforcers are actually nabbing people who did wrong. Still, once I stopped silently cheering them on from my seat, I did start thinking about the why/where/how of back-door policing.

From an Oct. 19 SFGate story

Fare evasion on Muni occurs most frequently in the afternoon and at night, the study found. Among the lines where the problem is most prevalent are the 9-San Bruno, 14-Mission, 38-Geary and 47-Van Ness, but few are immune.

It doesn’t seem like an accident that the 47, one of four lines called out in this story, ended up with not one, but three fare inspectors the day after this story ran. Great, whatever works, right? But it did lead me to wonder whether the fare-checking would continue in earnest once the story died down and once the SFMTA office was jammed with people contesting their fines.

In other words, I wondered whether this was simply a good show or temporary move to prove that something was being done. Or will fare-jumping significantly decrease in a year’s time? I certainly hope it’s the latter, especially since I’d argue that fare-jumping is easier to eradicate than other types of petty crime.

Let me explain. We learned from an SF Gate story on crime cameras that certain crimes (homicide, drug deals, etc.) are conveniently moved out of the cameras’ range if cameras are around, thereby decreasing the crime in one area and increasing it one block down. Before you know it, it’s a life-size game of whack-a-mole for the police.

Fare-jumping seems more precise than that. If you’re on Van Ness and want to head into the Mission on Muni, the 49-Van Ness or 14-Mission is your only real way to accomplish this. If you know there are fare inspectors on either line, you are either going to pay your fare, take your chances, or find another line to jump if all you’re into is wasting time on the bus. But if there’s regular fare-inspecting, I think jumpers are more easily backed into a corner, as there are only so many lines that can remain uncovered. Especially if there are more fare inspectors on the hottest jumping lines, during the hottest jumping times.

Or maybe this is completely false logic. Nonetheless, fare inspectors really can’t hurt anyone, in my opinion.

Disclaimer: Before I officially lived in SF and carried a trusty FastPass wherever I went (and uh, before I contributed regularly to a transit-oriented website), I’d somewhat regularly sneak onto the back of an F-Market/Wharves line on my way to work. I could have easily paid the then-$1.50 a ride, but I couldn’t be bothered. I didn’t have cash. Muni “owed” me for some transgression. Everyone else was doing it. All of these are poor excuses.

Twirlwind on the 21

From the Muni Diaries submissions inbox:

I used to ride the 5-Fulton every morning and afternoon to and from work. I’d hop on the bus either at Clayton or Masonic, hang on for dear life, and thirty minutes later, arrive (slightly windblown and disheveled) at either my fantastic place of employment or within a half-block of my abode. From June through early August, San Francisco Ballet’s summer school students take the 5 to and from USF. The good thing is these students are very well behaved. They keep an eye out for the elderly and parents with young children, move their large dance bags filled with pointe shoes, iPods, and breakfast (bagels and bananas), stay mostly quiet in the early mornings, and travel in small groups.

And I stress this last part because a few years ago, two new dance summer programs started housing their students at USF, and they traveled in packs. And by packs, I mean 30+ students at a time, on their cell phones constantly, and heaving their bags to and fro like boulders. These new kids made riding Muni during rush hour a living nightmare. And it’s not just the sheer mass of them now 60 dance students at a bus stop is just crazy in and of itself… But that combined with the attitude of the newbies is a lot to handle at 8AM.

So what’s an intelligent, city-minded girl to do? Switch bus lines, right? Oh, wrong. Two years ago, I switched to the 21-Hayes bus line. It’s an extra few blocks walk south from the Fulton line. It’s a quieter, more local bus line. Neighbors are friendly, most people are pleasant, and the drivers, if they see a regular hobbling in three inch heels and frantically waving her bus pass while dragging her gym bag behind her, will hold the bus and say, “It’s good to see you!” as she climbs aboard. Who can’t heart the 21-line? Well, right now, me!

Read more

Vigilante public transportation

F car at Beach and Stockton is 11 mins out. Guy in snazzy black limo pulls up and starts offering rides anywhere in downtown/FiDi for $3 per person. Promises door to door service.

He goes up to individual people, asking for takers. He gets to me last, since a coffee cup, iPod, magazine, and stony expression turned out to be an obvious, carefully engineered (OK, not really) sign that I’m less-than-interested. Armed with a FastPass that gets me as many damned rides as I want, I snobbily turn my nose up at the bargain offer for $2 a ride instead. I have principles, after all.

Currently, I’m suffering the indignity (to be overly dramatic) of riding on a replacement F car: yes, that means a regular bus driving on the railway tracks, which is easily the bumpiest ride you’ll ever be on in SF, because who knows what happened to the actual rail vehicle. To add insult to injury, it’s stopping at the Ferry Building: I need to go a mile farther than that.

FYI, F-car: Some dude is stomping on your territory and pretty much beat you at the transportation game today. Next time, I might not side with you (and my principles) if I’m in a pinch.

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