Muni Diaries Live is back on Nov. 5!

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Our favorite evening of the year is back, when riders pack the Elbo Room for a little camaraderie about San Francisco life. Tickets are on sale now, so grab yours soon!

Riding the bus with a black crow on your shoulder? Eating a pint of ice cream with the butt end of a lighter on the N-Judah? Exchanging the fine points of making a perfect lumpia with your bus driver’s mom? These are just a few of the everyday delights/weirdnesses that actually happen on Muni. Come celebrate all the hilarity that can happen on public transit between Point A and Point B.

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Why one person decided to wait for Muni vs. walk

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I gotta say: It’s not the greatest excuse for waiting 20 (I mean, 2, I mean 40, I mean 10) minutes for the next bus. And whatever happened to show don’t tell? Actually, given the amount of freewheeling penis on Muni, it’s always best to remember: San Francisco doesn’t shy away from a challenge, especially when it involves getting nekkid.

Spotted at Market and South Van Ness by @kirandoingthings on Instagram. Thanks for sharing, Kiran!

Burrito plays crucial role in perfect comeback to Muni pickup artist

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Muni rider Rawiyah Tariq just witnessed the perfect response to creepers on Muni. Via the Muni Diaries Facebook page:

Him:Hey
Her:…
Him: I said hello
Her:…
Him: Pretty girl! You just going to ignore me?
Her:You don’t want me to pay attention to you.
Him: See was that so hard? How you doing today?
Her: You mean to ask can I get your number today. You want to know if you can fuck me today. The answer to both of these is no. (Pulls a burrito out of her bag and shoves it in her mouth) this the only thing going in my mouth today. (Fishes out what I assume to be a piece of chicken and pinches it between two perfectly manicured talons) you can have some of this though. You want some of this?
Him and the guy next to him: (moves down a seat)
Her: Hey sis, there’s room for you here right next to me.
Me: Thank you sis. How are you doing today?
Her:You know…doing how we do.

My. Hero.

Photo by echoes71

Get ready for traffic snarl as Van Ness BRT construction starts this month

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File this under “It’ll Get Worse Before It Gets Better.” Construction on the Van Ness BRT (bus rapid transit) is about to start this month, changing the center two lanes on Van Ness to bus-only. One block to the east, Polk Street will also undergo construction to improve sidewalks, bike lanes, and other features. The construction is set to take place mostly during week days, so you can expect traffic congestion on both streets. And in case you make the mistake of driving on Van Ness (or just … driving), there will be no left turns.

The Van Ness Improvement project‘s dedicated transit lanes will be for use by Muni and Golden Gate Transit, physically separated from “mixed traffic lanes.” There will also be new boarding islands, new traffic signals prioritizing transit, and pedestrian safety additions such as shortening crossing distances, zebra-striped sidewalks, and audible crossing signals. The SFMTA says that the Van Ness BRT “is expected to cut travel times for the 49 and 47 Muni routes by 32 percent.” Construction is expected to wrap by 2019.

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What’s the most awkward thing you’ve carried on Muni?

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Muni Diaries reader Casey reported the latest awkward strange cargo that someone took on Muni because that’s how you get around town:

When you have to take a streetcar to transport a spare tire to the nearest gas station! Thank goodness the train driver was kind enough to drop her off near the gas station.

Aw.

Whether it’s a giant bubble wrap, a full-size mattress, or Saint Jude himself, our strange cargo report has you covered. Tag us on Instagram #munidiaries to submit your own report!

Photo via @cmalado

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