Playboy bunnies and pleasure bots

playboybunnies

The following came to our inbox from BART rider Mac:

For anyone who didn’t know (me included), you can follow dispatches from BART’s “virtual water cooler” on Twitter. (I took this photo on BART on Sunday.) The great thing about Twitter is how confusing it has been for so many people. And in tech-savvy Bay Area, it’s just not okay to admit to not getting it. Which is what makes this ad so great. It throws gasoline on the Twitter confusion fire. What do young girls dressed in feather boas and bunny ears or shiny silver robot bustiers (or is it a corset?) have to do with riding the subway? Awww, come on guys. It’s so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course. It’s all about ball bearings these days. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads, and start tweeting. The Playboy bunnies and pleasure bots will be here any minute.

Taking a snooze on public transportation

guysleepingbus

This post can also be found on Kelsey Avers’ blog

Many students will find that trying to fit a full-time class schedule, a part-time job and a social life into one day is rather tricky. Sometimes young adults work so hard throughout the day that by nightfall we come to the realization that we just aren’t able to squeeze in the full eight hours of sleep that has been recommended to us throughout our lives. In a city where nearly one-third of commuters use public transportation to get to and from work and/or school, it doesn’t come as much of a surprise when I see people catching up on their Z’s on a public bus or commuter train.

I ride the 29 Sunset Muni bus line from my house to school, and then back. This is the second busiest bus line in the city; needless to say, it is stuffed with people like a small pack of gum more often than not, resulting in a strong likelihood that by the time the outbound route gets to San Francisco State University, it is full of City College students and city commuters. Yesterday I was lucky enough to find a seat in the back of the bus, cramped between to chattering students. I put in my headphones and close my eyes to catch a moment of relaxation after a long day at school. But no matter how loud I turn up my music, there’s still all that chattering on each side of me, so trying to get any second of rest has proved itself to be pointless. “Okay,” I think to myself. “I’ll just do some people watching.”

After looking through the uninteresting crowd of people standing hip-to-hip, I almost give up, figuring there won’t be much odd-people-on-the-bus entertainment this ride around. Then it appears!

This guy is not just resting; he is totally passed out. As seen in the picture above, he is hunched over, his head hanging heavily. Every time the bus moves, his head and neck seem as if they are attached to the rest of his body by a small thread as it wobbles back and forth with every stop, acceleration, and turn. I keep watching to see if his practically lifeless body ever leans to the side, resting against the girl sitting next to him. (Now THAT would be fun to see!) But it doesn’t (darn…), and I start to wonder if he didn’t really mean to fall into such a deep sleep, and in result of doing so, missed his stop.

My thoughts trail off into noticing how uncomfortable this sleeping position looks, and thinking about how bad his neck is going to hurt once he wakes up. I obviously am not the only one who has thought about this while watching someone sleep on a bus, as I noticed from Matthew Gale’s website. He has created a patent for a jacket that makes sleeping on public transportation easier and more comfortable.

The Excubo jacket (Excubo being Latin for “I sleep outside”) jacket molds around the body to become a sort of “cocoon,” while the collar and lapels morph into a sleeping mask and plush mounds to create pillow. Something that this young man I watched sleeping on the bus could have used was the sides of the jacket, which tighten around the wearers sides and torso, keeping them upright and comfortable. And if the bus sleeper really wants to feel bundled up, the cuffs can be turned into mittens.

CNN coverage of the jacket can be seen in this YouTube Video, which is on Gale’s YouTube Channel. The jacket’s performance is shown on Gale himself, cozying himself up in his creation on a BART train.

After about ten minutes of the bumpy bus ride, the young man wakes up, wipes the drool from the corners of his mouth, and quickly turns to see exactly where he is. He didn’t look too panicked, so I assumed he did not miss his stop, although it was hard to tell if he could even comprehend where he was through the expression on his face, which still looked half asleep.

If you or anyone you know is a fan of sleeping on public transportation, you can join the Facebook Group dedicated to tired commuters.

Sleep well!

– Kelsey

Don’t be this guy. Ever.

It’s really too bad that BART nixed its whole “Who’s the biggest asshole on BART” contest, or whatever it was, because this guy could be a contender.

He was on a super-crowded SFO Airport-bound train, not only hogging both halves of the disabled seat but pretending to be asleep so nobody could oust him. How do I know he was pretending? He did finally relinquish half the seat when a woman asked him to, and she didn’t have to wake him up to get the job done.

Seriously, people. If you sit down in one of these seats, and you are not disabled, elderly, pregnant, etc., it is not yours to keep. It’s your responsibility to keep an eye out for the folks who DO need these seats, and to make sure you give it up if someone needier boards the train. In fact, it’s against the law NOT to.

Looks like I’m not the only one peeved about this.

— Beth W.

* originally posted 2.4.09 at Muni Diaries.

The shaved-headed Muni Fare Inspector from hell


Photo by Flickr user Keisuke Omi

This delightful tale came to us from Muni rider Daishin:

I had the interesting and bizarre experience of meeting and engaging with the shaved-headed Muni fare inspector from hell. I would like to use her name but I might get sued by the Muni union.

It was a calm weekday afternoon this summer when I was accosted by this rather heavy-set youngish-looking fare inspector on the escalator coming out of Powell Street Station. She had a shaved head and looked a little like my Kung Fu male instructor. She asked for my proof of purchase, which I showed her. She then made a comment about my appearance. I think she thought I was a terrorist since I have dark hair and eyes. Laughingly I told her I WAS a terrorist and that she was a nazi with her lack of hair and attitude. She screamed at me and started talking into her walkie-talkie. I then told her she was a “cop-wanna-be”, and was insane for calling me a terrorist. I also told her to call a real cop if she wanted to arrest me.

I’ve had other friends who’ve run into this beast from Muni and complain about her surly attitude and disrespectful ways. But of course it does no good. Muni employees can only be fired if they commit murder while on the job, and even then it would be a stretch to get them convicted. Fare inspectors are the scariest bunch of fools in Muni’s employee pool.

Had a noteworthy experience, good or bad, on Muni lately? Let us know: muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com.

Man with cellphone taken for a ride

nokia-e55-is-now-a-red-cell-phone-01

Muni rider Jessica tells the following tale:

I’m a usual N Judah rider to and from work during the week. However, one night last week I decided to go to a spin class at a different gym on Van Ness, thus leaving me 1 of few options by taking the 49 to get back home afterwards.

Just the thought of riding this bus at night made me incredibly paranoid. I found myself constantly checking around for the crazy man who stabbed the 11yo boy last week. Despite the fact that I knew the driver would not attempt to save my life in any dangerous/traumatic/life-threatening situation, I decided to sit near the front for my own contentment. During my initial scan of the people around me I noticed a blind man seated with a service dog. He had his cell phone in his hand and was sitting patiently (and probably also hoping he could get the hell off this bus as soon as possible).

There was a lady sitting perpendicular to him (in those single seats that always get first dibs since they isolate riders from sitting next to any creeps). She was rocking a sweet 80s-esque ponytail with sweatband and smelled like she had just bathed in steak fajitas. She noticed the blind guy had a cell phone and asked him if she could use it.

He said “well I’m a nice guy, but I don’t usually lend out my phone. Is it an absolute emergency?”

“Yeah,” she said lethargically.

I could tell he really didn’t want to let her use the phone, but now felt obligated and handed it over. At first, I thought she was going to try to steal it from him because he was blind. Instead she dialed a number and started talking in Spanish to the person on the other end. I speak Spanish and was trying to hear what she was saying about this emergency, but she was mumbling so much that I couldn’t understand. She continued chatting (yes, just chatting away) about her so-called emergency the entire ride. I was really tempted to go over to her and tell her how rude this was- what if he has pre-paid minutes! The guy did you a favor lady, don’t take complete advantage of him!

The blind guy looked miserable and it was obvious that he regretted his decision to be a nice guy. I was secretly hoping he would reprimand on this chick and snatch his phone back, but I’ll never know. About 7 minutes into her emergency phone call (I kid you not!) I had to get off at my stop. I don’t know how it all ended, but I would like to think that the dog pissed on her feet or something comparably satisfying.

Seen anyone else totally disregard all social norms and take advantage of another rider? If you’ve got any kind of Muni story to tell, this is the place: muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com

1 711 712 713 714 715 800