Dad: Sorry my son puked on you on Muni


Say what you will about kids and their parents on public transit, this story might change your mind. Muni rider Nicolas wrote us this public apology:

Fellow J riders:

I’m so sorry. My 4-year old son projectile vomited on some of you at about 8:30 on February 3. We were inbound into Van Ness station, me standing, him on my left arm. No, I don’t normally hold 40-lb people but, as you heard, he was whining so I picked him up to comfort him and also to make your ride less unpleasant. You’re welcome. But I guess whining “I’m not going to make it” didn’t mean what I thought it meant.

The doors were seconds away from opening when he coughed. Well…it seemed like a cough. But there was stealth vomit behind the cough. The brunt of it landed on me (glasses, cheek, shirt, jacket, bag). If normal, it would have dribbled onto only me, but being the projectile variety, you folks within 2 feet got sprayed. I’m sorry.

I wish I could have apologized more but the doors were open by the time it landed.

But I did have a moment to look around to assess the damage.

I noticed you, Nicely Dressed Work Guy, sitting next to us with splatters of partially digested Eggo pancakes on your thighs. You smiled and said, “It’s okay. It’s okay.” Not polite but real genuine like maybe you’d been down this road before. Are you a dad? Just a nice guy? If you are not a dad, you should be. You’ve got the patience and sense of humor for it. Adopt or impregnate someone ASAP. Maybe we can be references for you on your Ok Cupid profile? (I’ve been married forever. Do people still use Ok Cupid? Either way, let us know. We will make you look good with prospects. We’d offer to vouch in person, but you probably don’t trust us now.)

I don’t know what I would have done if we had more time with you, victims of vomit. Offer to pay for dry cleaning? Buy you a drink? My son’s name is Seiji. He is good at making Ninja Turtle masks out of tin foil. Maybe you’d like some? If you see us again, let us know.

Until then, sorry,
Seiji’s Dad

On behalf of Muni Diaries, Seiji’s dad, we forgive you.

Photo by Transit Nerds

Inflatable pool and palm on Muni ISO a beach


Looks like *checks weather page* it might actually *checks weather page* not rain today *checks weather page*. Yep. Maybe a sprinkle, but does that really count?

Perhaps that was what this Muni rider was thinking, or wishfully thinking, carrying her inflatable pool and inflatable palm tree to that manufactured beach in … Glen Park?

In any case, fellow rider Anthony reports: “Inflatable palm tree on the OB J- Church? Where the hell is she going to? A pool party? Idk?”

Muni rider reanimates antique elevator sign as his own NextBus

This is heaven for all kinds of geekery, and I promise this video is going to make you clap your hands in delight. Muni rider Rolf lives steps away from the J-Church line, but checking his phone every other minute to see when the next train is coming was just a little too annoying and this-century of an activity. Most people would probably just walk around their house carrying their phones in their pockets, but Rolf rigged together a beautiful and ingenious solution, and you won’t believe what he used. Read more

Muni Metro blockage no rider can de-obstruct

Photo via Valleywag

Perhaps feeling slighted by lowly human passengers moving its brethren “automobiles” out of the way of public transit vehicles, a tech shuttle bus done got itself stuck, like stuck-stuck, on some Muni tracks this morning.

Only a Muni Hulk or like every single person riding Muni at any given moment might be able to clear the way for the J-Church here. Sad.

Previously: Superhero Muni riders to the rescue!

h/t: Valleywag

The band J-Church had a song about Muni

Photo by Adam Kuban

My good friend Nick tipped me off to this. He texted me last week and was all, “Hey, did you know that J-Church had a song about getting hit by Muni?” And I was all, “No, no way! Rad!” Then I set about finding the song.

It’s called “As I Lie,” from the Nostalgic for Nothing LP. Click the link below to hear the dearly departed Lance and the boys lament from under the wheels of a Muni bus.

“As I Lie”

A sample of the lyrics:

“As I lie here crushed beneath the wheels of a Muni bus,
The commuters all around me crane their necks to see,
By the looks on their faces I must be a disgrace,
I can see my bike down the block”


Support musicians, especially those who sing about Muni. Buy their music. Check out “As I Lie” on iTunes.

J-Church rider makes nail-clipping look like bathing puppies


This came into our inbox with subject: “I can beat nail clipping on Muni.” You be the judge.

Our submitter, who wishes to remain anonymous, emailed this with, “How about crack smoking on the J-Church at rush hour?”

HEY, LOOK, if real-life SNL skit Rob Ford can smoke crack “maybe once,” maybe this person can smoke crack “maybe once,” too.

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