New band name: Needles on the Bus


Man, I wish I could take credit for that band name. Sadly, I cannot take credit for that band name.

Muni rider Revo, on the other hand, can take credit for that band name: “New Band Name: Needles on the Bus. (Inspired by true events) #sfmuni #dirty8″

A Quiet Night on the 38-Geary

Photo by Justin

Appreciative people-watching has always been part of the appeal here at Muni Diaries, and I think the view from Muni rider Stuart’s seat reminds us as much. The vomit shower is pretty gross, though.

A man boards the 38 with his hair in what appeared to be a two-foot tall orange condom. Another man staggers aboard on, asking everyone in earshot where he could get his fix. A woman talks about her divorce on speakerphone. A group of bros holding burritos and PBRs yammer and sway.

Nothing happens.

I sit in a singleton seat, and I look outside, and it is raining. I open the window, relishing the cool scent of wet asphalt, and turn my head toward the rain, smiling as my eyelashes catch the few drops that fall in upon me from outside. It strikes me that sitting there, smiling at nothing, and smelling the rain, I might be the strangest guy on the bus.

One of the bros takes a bite of his burrito, a swig of his PBR, and showers his buddies and their poorly tailored suits in vomit as the 38 swerves to miss a double-parked car.

Everything returns to the status quo, as madness erupts around me.

The 38-Geary is one of our most talked-about lines. Who knows, you may run into The Most Interesting Man in the World (you may even be him, depending on how your day went), or you may find yourself quietly defending your sexuality and Little Mermaid backpack. If you have a story that’s worthy of the #OnlyonMuni hashtag, send it our way and you could win tickets (and saved choice seating) to Muni Diaries Live, set for Nov. 8 at the Elbo Room.

Updates: Man disrobes, reenacts Red Hot Chili Peppers photo on the 1-California

Image by KTVU via SF Weekly

Update (6:21 p.m., Friday): Dude didn’t limit himself to the 1-California. He appears to be on a mission, expanding to the 47-Van Ness and 38-Geary, at least. He appears to be on a mission, however ballsy (literally!):

Muni rider Rebecca: “Never a dull moment #living in #SF. My morning #treat on #SFMUNI #BusLine47 Van Ness. All he had was a #sock on his #penis and #shoes!”

And Muni driver Josh says, “This dude rode on my 38 Geary bus yesterday…”

Original: Riders on the 1-California bus yesterday afternoon got to know one of their fellow passengers far better than they wanted to when the man stripped naked and put a sock over his penis.

According to SF Weekly’s The Snitch, the Muni driver stopped the bus and demanded that the man put his clothes back. The man refused, and police were called. Passengers boarded another bus after a delay of about an hour. The 19-year-old man eventually put his clothes back on and was not arrested.

KTVU has NSFW footage of the incident showing the scantily clad fellow waving, posing for onlookers and explaining why nothing he did was illegal. It’s true what they say: The best-looking Muni riders, ponytail and penis socks included, can be found on the 1-California.

Video: Self-image questioned on Muni

Sit right down and you’ll hear the tale of beloved Muni Diaries alum Jesse James (current holder of the Muni haiku champion belt) and how he went from niche Amazon order to AT&T Park and back home again. Hilarity and perhaps a life lesson or two ensue.

Jesse told his story on stage at Muni Diaries Live in early April. Catch up on all the MDL action over the years. You won’t be sorry.

Post-holiday party Muni surprise


My company makes us play bingo at the holiday party in order to try to win our annual bonus. First-world problems, to be sure, but there you go.

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a coworker about the party the next day. Little did I know what I was in for.

“Get this—[friend in common] found a Golden Ticket in her bag the next day. I wonder if it was for one of the big prizes?! She’s hoping she can still redeem it…

The only thing I found in my bag was a business card with a picture of a half-naked, grinning, flexing man on it. Yep, the creeper on my bus ride home slipped that nice prize in.”


The kids are doin’ it again


Not that, pervert! Someone probably under the age of 19 did a number on this sign. I suppose the new message retains the severity and weight of the original, eh?

Via Muni rider Adam: “outrageous restriction on #sfmuni drivers as seen on the 38″