Sloshed on Muni: Keeping tabs on live cargo

We love your photos, your videos, and your tweets. But going back to our roots with a good old-fashioned story-story still gives us the warm fuzzies.

James, 71, spends his mornings in retirement walking around San Francisco and then takes Muni home. Here’s James with a sloshy, delightful tale from the 29:

I caught the 29-Sunset early afternoon at 25th & Clement about six months ago for my destination near San Francisco State University. Boarding the bus was a very inebriated man carrying a very large plastic snack jar, which contained water (half full) and three very large, live frogs. The individual sat directly behind the driver. As the bus drove, this individual’s jar was sloshing a lot and he was having trouble sitting up. Two girls on the bus were laughing and asked the man if he could show them one of his frogs. The man took one of the frogs out, waving it in front of the girls who were squealing. The frog got loose and started hopping down the aisle of the bus. At this point, the man placed the jar on the seat beside him and started to weave down the aisle, caught the frog, and returned it to the jar on his seat. He departed the bus several stops later. An unforgettable scene.

Early-afternoon drunkles, pets gone awry, and connecting with strangers; this Muni story really sums it up, doesn’t it?

Got other important news for your fellow riders? Tag us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Our email inbox, muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com, is always open!

Pic by Natalie McNear on Flickr

Video: Making a grand entrance from Muni

There’s extra, and then there is EXTRA.

This guy in a vampire costume is making the party entrance I’ve always dreamed of. San Francisco Examiner photographer and keen Muni observer @jachristian saw this fellow emerge from the Muni station escalator in a most fantastic and “fuck the fall risk” fashion.

We have more moments ranging from “Hmm. Cool.” to WTF on and off Muni, in our appropriately named WTF page.

You too can add an entry to our collective journal. Got other important news for your fellow riders? Tag us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Our email inbox is always open!

Muni Diaries Live: Turn up the volume

Twice a year, we take Muni Diaries out of the interwebs and into real life at Muni Diaries Live. If those stories, told to a packed crowd at the Elbo Room last Saturday are any indication, Muni is still the spot to mine storytelling gold.

Comedian Tirumari Jothi, whose tale of an out-of-this-world conversation (rings of Saturn included) had the crowd in stitches. You can see him this Friday, Nov. 10th, and the Comix Experience Outpost on Ocean Avenue.


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What could go wrong on your first Muni ride?

So you decide to take a visiting friend on her first Muni ride, promising that nothing will go wrong. And Muni is basically like…”LOL.”

In this week’s podcast, storyteller and reigning Muni Haiku champion Baruch Porras-Hernandez shares his story of what happened after his innocent promise to a friend. You can see him at Muni Diaries Live this Saturday, Nov. 4 at the Elbo Room. Tickets are at munidiarieslive18.eventbrite.com.

Listen to his story here:
iTunes
Google Podcasts
Download

If you like what you’ve heard on the Muni Diaries podcast, please share and rate it on iTunes so other people can find it, too. And we hope to see you this Saturday at the Elbo Room to watch Baruch go head-to-head with new challenger, Alexandria Love!

How extra-SF are you getting with your Halloween costume?

A friend grew up in the Castro, in the ’80s. Adorably, she thought trick-or-treating was something kids only did on TV.

Celebrating Halloween in the Castro was more than just fucking around in the city. The party raged for decades, and many touted it the best Halloween celebration in the country. When I worked at The Examiner in 2006, the party turned deadly, and its status as a city-sanctioned event was canceled from then on. In 2007, additional evening reporters were planned to cover a night of adjacent festivities that, fingers crossed, didn’t turn into calls to the local police stations.

But celebrating Halloween in the city was exactly that: celebrating. And by god, we love celebrating in costume. What’s the most extra-SF Halloween costume you can think of this year? Wrap yourself in gray chiffon as Karl the Fog? Or go all out as the Golden Gate Bridge?

Photo by @Best San Francisco

Or, pull a really punny costume about Muni that only you can enjoy. Via @mcsheffrey

Let’s keep San Francisco’s Halloween a damn good party where everyone also makes it out in one piece. Don’t forget to send us your San Francisco Halloween pics, whether you’re walking your costumed kids around their elementary school or crushing a box of Franzia on Muni Metro. Tag us on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Our email inbox muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com is always open!

Pic by Ken Banks on Flickr

Muni Haiku Battle returns Saturday Nov. 4

Three poets battled in a dark alley in the Mission for the right to go head-to-head with the current Muni Haiku Battle champion, Baruch Porras-Hernandez. And that battle was fierce! Tirumari Jothi, Chris Collision, and Alexandria Love busted out their best 5-7-5 poetry about public transit, and our audience judges chose Alexandria Love as our next challenger!

You can see Alexandria’s fight for the haiku crown at the next Muni Diaries Live Saturday, Nov. 4, and the Elbo Room. Tickets are on sale now, so grab one before they are all gone.

To tide you over between now and the show, here are some of the best Muni haikus from Tirumari Jothi:

Blowjob in car; that’s
Road head, right? So then, handjob on
MUNI; a track jack

I get on the train
One seat is open, but wait
Is that…human shit?

(May we advice that you issue a friendly warning like this?)

One more:

One time, I threw up
In my mouth, cuz I was hung-
over. I swallowed.

From challenger Chris Collision of I Don’t Even Own a Television:

On my way to work.
Fuck, dude, I’m wearing headphones!
Stop. Talking. To me.

One more from Chris:

I know you feel me.
The problem is, I smell you.
Standing room only.

And one from our Facebook page by Joy Morgenstern:

Manspreader on left
Negligent bather on right
Welcome to Muni

Be there for the Alexandria vs. Baruch showdown, and hear more only-in-SF stories at the show next Saturday.

Muni Diaries Live

Saturday, Nov 4, 2017

Doors: 6 p.m., show: 7 p.m.

Elbo Room (Tickets)

647 Valencia Street, San Francisco

Take Muni there: J-Church, 12, 14, 22, 33, 49, or BART: 16th or 24th St. stations

 

Photo by @hoobyjuice

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