Not the good kind of nudity

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In high school, we were broke. So we had to find cheap ways to entertain ourselves, and one of those ways was to take the 38 in from the Richmond and take the now-defunct 42 Downtown Loop to the old Tower Records and the Wharf.

One fateful day, my friend Bob and I were on the 42, sitting in the second-to-back row on the driver’s side. It was fairly crowded, but not uncomfortably so. We were minding our own business, talking about Man of La Mancha or whatever the hell it is we talked about in high school.

Eventually, we noticed some kind of commotion near the front of the bus, and a handful of people getting off. We tried to see what was going on, but there were too many people. Eventually, more people got off and we saw a totally naked middle-aged woman ambling around the front of the bus.

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Category: Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

Muni Promises Another Crackdown on Fare-Evasion

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"Sir, You Are Not Allowed To Take Pictures On Muni Property!!"
Photo by Plug1

Muni wants your two dollars. Seriously.

The city is losing “tens of millions of dollars a year” due to fare evasion, and the agency is going to step up in collecting fare, says Transportation chief Nathaniel Ford.

Well, duh.

As SFist wisely pointed out, you can probably figure out that fare evasion is a big problem if you’ve ever been on any Muni line. However, the agency had placed a team of Muni employees and interns on buses and Metro stations to track the fare-evasion problem, according to the San Francisco Chronicle. Ford told the Chronicle that 35,000 observations have been logged, but no word on the exact analysis of this data and how this supposed crackdown will proceed.

One of the hurdles in enforcing fare is that Muni operators can’t actually physically make fare evaders get off the bus, SFWeekly‘s Joe Eskenazi points out. And who wants to stay on the bus while the driver spends time arguing with riders who either won’t get off or pay up?

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Category: News

UPDATE: SFPD Nabs Alleged Muni Humper

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Close up of the handcuffs
Photo by Flickr user sirchuckles

Update: Detective Jim Serna of the SFPD is asking more victims and witnesses to speak with the police, in the hopes of building a stronger case against the suspect. Serna asks that you call the SFPD Sex Offender Unit at 415.553.9203 if you’ve been a victim or witness of the Muni Humper.

Original post: You remember him. You first told us about him in a colorful diary. He tormented your dreams and bus rides. He made the evening news. He even made it onto the stage in the form of a haiku “tribute” at Riders With Drinks.

Well, earlier this afternoon, we received word from Plug1 that the San Francisco Police Department has arrested a man who they believe to be the Muni Humper. He is being processed down at the Hall of Justice. Here are the details Plug1 told us:

back in June, i was mentioning the Muni Diaries coverage of the “Muni Humper” to a friend one day; who in return mentioned that she had not only seen this guy all the time on the N, but had been victim herself. her story was the same: the Muni Humper boards a middle/back door on a crowded N during rush hour, proceeds to hover over an unsuspecting female victim, and grinds/rubs himself on her shoulder — and when discovered, gets off at the next stop.

she saw him most recently in early July, which is when i reached out to Muni Diaries in hopes of a contact at the SFMTA or SFPD. My friend, who was noticeably weirded out by the whole situation, agreed to speak with Tim Gibson of the Muni Investigations Unit. Officer Gibson filed her original report and then referred her to Detective Jim Serna (sp?) of the SFPD. Detective Serna met personally with my friend that same day and showed her a multi-faced lineup of potential suspects. my friend was easily able to identify the suspect from the pool of photos, and agreed to file a detailed report with the SFPD. she was also able to use her Twitter feed to give exact dates and times she encountered him over the past 2 months to help police identify the suspect via the onboard surveillence on the N.

today she got a call from Detective Serna: they had caught the suspect and were processing him at 850 Bryant for sexual battery. he mentioned that the suspect was under the age of 18, and that he couldn’t comment much beyond that. i later called Officer Gibson of the SFMTA, but he was unavailable to comment on the matter.

Tip of the hat to all the victims and witnesses who helped SFPD get this sorry excuse for a transit-lover off our buses and trains.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program …

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UPDATE: SFPD Nabs Alleged Muni Humper

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Close up of the handcuffs
Photo by Flickr user sirchuckles

Update: Detective Jim Serna of the SFPD is asking more victims and witnesses to speak with the police, in the hopes of building a stronger case against the suspect. Serna asks that you call the SFPD Sex Offender Unit at 415.553.9203 if you’ve been a victim or witness of the Muni Humper.

Original post: You remember him. You first told us about him in a colorful diary. He tormented your dreams and bus rides. He made the evening news. He even made it onto the stage in the form of a haiku “tribute” at Riders With Drinks.

Well, earlier this afternoon, we received word from Plug1 that the San Francisco Police Department has arrested a man who they believe to be the Muni Humper. He is being processed down at the Hall of Justice. Here are the details Plug1 told us:

back in June, i was mentioning the Muni Diaries coverage of the “Muni Humper” to a friend one day; who in return mentioned that she had not only seen this guy all the time on the N, but had been victim herself. her story was the same: the Muni Humper boards a middle/back door on a crowded N during rush hour, proceeds to hover over an unsuspecting female victim, and grinds/rubs himself on her shoulder — and when discovered, gets off at the next stop.

she saw him most recently in early July, which is when i reached out to Muni Diaries in hopes of a contact at the SFMTA or SFPD. My friend, who was noticeably weirded out by the whole situation, agreed to speak with Tim Gibson of the Muni Investigations Unit. Officer Gibson filed her original report and then referred her to Detective Jim Serna (sp?) of the SFPD. Detective Serna met personally with my friend that same day and showed her a multi-faced lineup of potential suspects. my friend was easily able to identify the suspect from the pool of photos, and agreed to file a detailed report with the SFPD. she was also able to use her Twitter feed to give exact dates and times she encountered him over the past 2 months to help police identify the suspect via the onboard surveillence on the N.

today she got a call from Detective Serna: they had caught the suspect and were processing him at 850 Bryant for sexual battery. he mentioned that the suspect was under the age of 18, and that he couldn’t comment much beyond that. i later called Officer Gibson of the SFMTA, but he was unavailable to comment on the matter.

Tip of the hat to all the victims and witnesses who helped SFPD get this sorry excuse for a transit-lover off our buses and trains.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program …

Category: News

Revenge of the Nerds

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Nerd
Photo by Flickr user bayat

I braved the crowds of tourists and shoppers in Union Square to take advantage of the July 4th holiday sales and scored a terrific deal on a new comforter. I live fairly close to downtown SF and try to walk everywhere I can within reason but catching the 45 Union back home seemed reasonable now that I was lugging this large, unwieldy bag around with me. I walked a few blocks to 3rd and Market to catch the bus, ensuring that I’d get on before the crowds destined for Chinatown boarded. I snagged the perfect seat in the last row of double seats before the final row along the back, with plenty of legroom for me to balance my bedding-bag on my feet in front of me.

Sure enough, the bus started to fill up at the very next stop. One of the passengers towered above the usual contingent of Asian women with produce bags, a tall white guy who lumbered towards the back, glassy-eyed, open-mouthed, his significant gut leading the way. My Muni-attuned spidey senses were tingling—something about this guy was a bit off. He carried himself with the awkward air of those who don’t have a good grasp on the rules of social interaction. (His sci-fi convention-style t-shirt blaring “NEXT STOP: MARS!” helped complete the impression.) As he surveyed the open seats I silently projected my intentions. Don’t you f*ing sit here, dude. Don’t even think about it. Swayed by my venomous mental force-field (or more likely by the expanse of open seats along the back row), he plunked himself down behind me. He immediately started questioning one of the people seated by the windows about an item he carried, further confirming my snap assessment that this guy did not observe the Rule of the Bus.

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Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

I Dream of Muni: Locomotive Streetcars

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sflocomotive

Beth W. has sent us another of her Muni dreams. This one is possibly even more exciting than the first:

I dreamed on Thursday that I was in Noe Valley and I meant to get onto the J-Church train, but instead got onto another train by mistake that took me to the far eastern part of San Francisco. I wound up by the Bay, which was clear and bright blue, like a tropical ocean, and the sand on the beach (yes, there was a beach!) was sparkling white. The roads were wide and smooth, and the medians and crosswalks were “paved” with pebbles in many shades of brown and gray. The best part was that the rail line, which ran through the center of the boulevards, had cars that looked like miniature locomotives rather than the usual LRV cars or streetcars. I’ve never seen anything like them. They were black and each one had a “smokestack” on top and a “conductor” at the front who took your money or looked at your rail pass. There were no buildings in the area, just vast stretches of blue water, sandy beach and all those pebbles. It was really beautiful.

If you’ve got a Muni dream to share, this is the space to do that in. Send us your dreams, fantasies, and real-life experiences.

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