DIY: Make Your Own Muni

Image: Lost in the 415

Back in December, we posted what was obviously the hottest item on your holiday wish list: folding paper Muni buses. Think paper dolls, but for your favorite Muni line. An easy, fun idea from Paper Buses via Uptown Almanac.

Marjorie contacted us recently to say she made five of these babies: the 71-Haight-Noriega, the 38-Geary, the 47-Van Ness, the 15-Third St./Fisherman’s Wharf (takin’ it back old school), and the occasional Out Of Order (taking it back to, oh, now). Neato.

Print yours out today — there are a few other lines available on Paper Buses — and send us your photos and stories. Why’d you pick the line that you did?

We’re still waiting on that inaccurate paper NextBus tracker to go with it.

John Waters Rides the 47, Wants to Be Muni Spokesman

Image: No Bunny Luvs You

100 Muni StoriesFrom No Bunny Luvs You’s Tumblr, via Uptown Almanac, here’s John Waters on Muni. Because he is John Waters, he’s being cool as a cucumber, badass, and probably very polite. Why isn’t he ever on my 47? I bet he always pays his fare share.

The Baltimore-based filmmaker has a well-documented love of Muni. In fact, he made our day recently when he wandered into our inbox:

Tell them thanks…I am waiting for Muni to hire me as their spokesperson!!

What say, SFMTA? I think you should take him up on it.

This post and other have been selected to be part of our 100 Days, 100 Muni Stories feature that celebrates Muni’s centennial this year. The best four of these 100 posts will end up on ads on all Muni buses later this year, so send us your story today!

Unnecessary Rudeness: A PSA of Sorts

Photo by Tantek Çelik

A lady gets on a full-ish 47 on Van Ness on Thursday morning. She was sorta not unlike a brunette Anna Nicole Smith, both visually and vocally. She tried unsuccessfully, twice, to tag her Clipper card. Since these were unsuccessful attempts, the driver asked her to try again. She says this in response:

“Can’t you read? It said ‘already processed.’ Fucking idiot.”

So … some friendly reminders and tips for everyone at home:

  • “EH-EH” is the no-no sound. “EH,” singular, is the good sound. Both are really loud and obvious.
  • Those machines always tell you, aurally and on the screen, when your tag worked. Pretty sure it displays a red light if it didn’t.
  • It happens to the best of us. I usually board the bus, rolling my eyes after two tries, and tag at the back doors.
  • The drivers can be faulted for a great many things, but failure to tag a card on persnickety machines isn’t one of them.

She was sweet as pie to the passengers, perhaps realizing how snatchy the whole exchange was.


Ready to Meet the Lord

Forget The Dirty Laundry & The Dishes In The Sink
Photo by Troy Holden

I’m on the 47 on my way to work and had been listening to the mutterings of the man across the aisle from me. He was carrying a garbage bag of his belongings and a paper bag with unspecified booze; and he was getting louder and louder.

“Lord Jesus, I’m ready to die,” he said. “I have no job, I have no money,” (the girl next to him gets up to stand somewhere away from him), “I have my momma’s debt, my daddy’s debt, and I’m ready to die because I don’t want to be nobody’s bother.” Everyone looks away awkwardly, including me. The man starts laughing about something else. Then I realize that we weren’t moving.

I looked up and a cleanly dressed younger guy in the front of the bus was talking to the driver, pointing at the drunkard. “He’s drinking alcohol…openly…” I overhear him telling the drivers.


The drunk wasn’t really bothering anybody except for our guilty conscience, and he didn’t even smell. How are you trying to kick the drunk guy off the bus after he said he’s ready to meet his death because he has nothing? And isn’t a drunk man muttering to himself a regular sight on Muni? The driver got up and glanced at the drunkard, who said, “Don’t mind me, I’m just waking up.” The driver sat back down and started driving again.

Because of the “good Samaritan,” I missed the connecting train I was trying to catch, which is just one of my many first-world problems. I guess it’s just another Monday.

Muni, the ‘God Damn Loud Talking Bus!!!’

Muni rider Charles shares:

This graffiti, on a 47, reminds me of one of my early rides on Muni. I used to take the 1 to and from work. One night, on the way home, every time there was an announcement, the guy sitting behind me would grumble, “Goddamn talking bus.” The ride home was about 14 blocks, and he was on the bus when I got on and still on it when I got off, so I can only assume that this continued until his destination.

Whatever floats your boat, grumbler.

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