Tag: muni-etiquette

Muni Rider Roasting on the 24

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Photo by Rick Audet

As I was riding the 24 home from work last week, two young men boarded the bus and immediately started sizing up the other riders in the back of the bus for potential roastability. Not finding enough meat for their roast they declared the bus “dry” as opposed to this morning’s selection which had been “wet.” This was a fairly incredible assessment, seeing as how the 24 is (always) stuffed to the gills with riders.

The roasters, doing their best with the available material, declared that “that dude there has a potato-head” (he didn’t). They then moved on to a young man who was listening to his ipod and had the luxury of pretending not to hear “look at this dude, he look like something out of mario brothers” (he didn’t). They then went on to mock his plain white t-shirt, cap and less than manicured fingers.

Meanwhile I’m feeling less and less comfortable, for the obvious reason that if unkempt nails were grounds for harassment, I could well be next. But mostly because I felt this was completely inappropriate. I mean, who does that? And why?

My stop was still three blocks away when I felt I could not handle it anymore. They had moved on to fresh meat, an older gentleman whose ear hair was somehow offending them (it wasn’t), when I vacated my seat. Clumsily and apologetically, I made my way to the front of the bus through the sea of fellow-riders. When I reached the front I reported to the driver that there were two young men harassing people in the back of the bus. The driver stood up and called to the back of the bus that they needed to “show some respect.” Feeling useless and edgy I then exited the 24, two stops early.

On my long walk home I thought of all the other ways the situation could have been handled. I had fantasies of rallying the other riders and declaring that we’re not going to take it! We’re all on the same bus here! We all have the right to a peaceful ride! Some of my less mature fantasies included roasting the aggressors: “your hair looks like bubble wrap!” and “if you’re lucky you might grow into those pants someday, son!” I digress.

Has anyone else witnessed a rider roasting? There must be a more effective way to handle it than to hassle the bus driver who is 20 ft and 30 people away….

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: ,

What to do when someone asks you to sign a petition

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No Soliciting
Photo by Thomas Hawk

Rider Jared bought some headphones to enjoy his music on Muni. Little did he know that right after his purchase, he would overhear one of the most excellent exchanges between one very cranky rider and someone who was trying to get him to sign a petition. I’m tempted to copy this technique the next time someone asks me to sign my name on yet another clipboard. Read on. – Eugenia

As someone who spends a good chunk of his day on Muni and Caltrain, I listen to a lot of music. As my iPod earphones have been slowly making their way to white headphone heaven, I decided to take the plunge and buy some quality buds. After much deliberation between sound-cancelling and the regular version, I bought Bose’s around-the-ear model on Monday evening at their store in the downtown Westfield. I decided against sound-cancelling because I’m afraid to be struck by a bus and die. But if “Lost” has taught me anything, it’s that I’ll see you all in another life, brotha. Anyway.

Just like a little kid at Hanukkah, I asked the store owner, “Do you mind if I open it now so I can listen to them on my ride home?” After a few cuts and snips, I was on my way downstairs to the Powell Station sporting my new headphones.

For some reason Predictably, I had to wait a while until a lettered car appeared to take me to the Castro station (I was jonseing for some boba). Once it arrived (after I was told it wasn’t coming for another seven minutes), I hopped on and stood against the doors on the opposite side so I’d be closest to my exit.

One stop in, I see a guy in his 30s or 40s walking through the car and talking to people. Huh, that’s weird, I thought.

As he makes his way over to our side of the car I notice he’s holding a paper. I’m thinking, oh, he’s one of THOSE a-holes.

I love people who try to help a good cause, but I hate solicitors as much as the MILF from “The 40-Year Old Virgin.” As he approached me, I politely said no thanks (a few times… he was persistent) and he moved on down the train.

Here’s where it gets fun. As he was moving down the bus, he kept asking folks and they kept saying “no thanks.” Until he reached this one dude sitting down reading a book. Let’s recount the situation:

Solicitor: Do you mind signing my petition to…
Muni Rider (screaming at the top of his lungs): NO. YOU CAN’T PETITION. NO PETITIONING. YOU CAN’T DO THAT. THAT’S NOT ALLOWED. STOP IT. YOU’RE A BAD PERSON. STOP DOING THIS. YOU CAN’T PETITION ON HERE. STOP IT. STOP. DON’T BOTHER ME. STOP IT!!!!!!!!
The Rest of the Bus: (Silence)

He finally quit right before we hit the Church station. As the solicitor passed him again on his way to the front of the bus, I was afraid the psycho was going to shank him. But luckily he kept his cool this time around.

And do you know what pisses me off most about all of this? That I didn’t buy the noise-cancelling headphones.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

Mister Muni Manners

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see
Photo by Flickr user annnna.

For better or worse, this can go straight into our warm-and-fuzzy category of Muni stories.

I was on a 49-Van Ness/Mission trying to get home one evening after work. It was a really nice day: one of several schizophrenic, nice weather vs. crappy weather ones we’ve been having. As usual, the bus was full by the time it got to my stop. I grabbed a spot, held on, and spaced out. Then, I hear the tiniest “excuse me.” It sounded like it came from a fairy sitting in someone’s pocket. I looked around and didn’t see anything, so I commenced spacing.

I heard it again, then looked down at a little boy sitting in a seat near me. He looked from me to his dad, who indicated that he should give up his seat for the nice lady (hey, that’s me!). But he had to say it himself: “would you like to sit down?” asked the tiniest, politest person I think I’ve ever met.

I thanked him, but declined the seat. On my way out, I told his pop that he had a really nice boy.

1) Yeah, yeah, I don’t care if pop only does that to get at the ladies. It’s still nice.

2) I’m not gonna lie, I think it’s bogus when men push me out of the way to get to a fresh seat first. Equal rights and chivalry aren’t mutually exclusive, after all. So it made me extra happy to see semblances of it on the bus.

3) Did I mention I was on the 49? And that something nice happened on it?

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, reflection Tags: ,

14-Mission birth control?

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14-Mission in Daly City, December 7, 2008
Photo by /\/\ichael Patric|{

Yesterday, we read a little piece on SFGate about the worst places in the Bay Area to go into labor. Unsurprisingly, DMV beat all contenders as the least appealing place to bring a new life into the world (we’re pretty sure DMV might clean up at the Least Desirable Awards Show, but that’s another story).

Perhaps also to no real alarm, Muni made the list. No. 2, in fact. And not just any bus or Metro line. No, special disdain is reserved for the 14-Mission like it is for no other line in town. Does that have anything to do with the fact that there’s more (reported) crime on the 14-Mission than any other? Not that we’re scratching our heads at this result.

But it does make us wonder: What are some other dubious Muni awards you can think of? Worst line to make out on. Worst line to take to a fancy date. Worst line to use for grocery shopping. Share your ideas in the comments, please.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, WTF: Weirdness on Muni Tags: , ,

Bike Theft on Muni

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Getting on the 108
Photo by Flickr user juicyrai

Muni rider Sara sent us the following tale of jackassery on the 21-Hayes:

The rider caught my eye from the second we boarded the 21 at Market and Montgomery on Monday night. I noticed as the cute 20-something with amazing curly hair slipped his bike on the front rack before jumping aboard, sitting in the very first seat across from the driver. I noticed as he chatted nicely with the driver about the new line changes, and how he groaned with the rest of us about the obscenely loud speaker (seriously, that’s another entry – since the Muni updates on Saturday, some of the speakers have been blaring out of control). And then I also noticed how he dashed off the bus lighting fast on Hayes and Buchanan as the driver yelled something muffled. All I made out was “Your bike!” But that’s all that mattered. Even from the watchful eye of the first seat, the 20-something’s bike was snatched off the rack before he could stop it.

I was floored, but as word traveled around the bus, people came forward with other stories about bikes being jacked off the front of the bus (“They took one from a group of tourists!”). Is this a common occurence? It struck me as really sad. And slightly annoying, because the driver wouldn’t leave until the police came, so we all had to wait for the next bus to arrive. It was a bonding moment on the 21 last night, no doubt, but I’m guessing the poor guy never got his bike back.

It’s ridiculous enough to get your phone snatched out of your hands on the bus, and now your bike might be next?

Did your bike get stolen on Muni or did you witness what Sara saw? Let Muni Diaries know.

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: ,
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