Or are you just happy to see me?
Muni Metro is always happy to see you, if you know what I mean.
h/t Muni rider cbeaz
Photo by lpcmidst0128
Expert Muni rider Beth knows what’s up (spoiler alert, it’s usually not good) when you hear a banging bottle near you on the bus.
My partner and I were riding the 49 north into the Mission recently when a handful of teenagers got on the bus. We were sitting near the very back, and one of the teens went to the window behind me and overhead and began banging on it. At first, I thought he was just trying to get the window open, but when I looked, I realized he was banging the top of a liquor bottle on the window frame. I cringed and ducked, just hoping he wouldn’t shower me with vodka and broken glass. Meanwhile, one of his friends was trying to convince him to stop, while another one was offering pointers, but the kid insisted he knew what he was doing. He must have been right, because eventually I smelled liquor and figured he’d gotten it open. They got off the bus at the next stop, taking their little party with them.
Photo by Justin
Appreciative people-watching has always been part of the appeal here at Muni Diaries, and I think the view from Muni rider Stuart’s seat reminds us as much. The vomit shower is pretty gross, though.
A man boards the 38 with his hair in what appeared to be a two-foot tall orange condom. Another man staggers aboard on, asking everyone in earshot where he could get his fix. A woman talks about her divorce on speakerphone. A group of bros holding burritos and PBRs yammer and sway.
I sit in a singleton seat, and I look outside, and it is raining. I open the window, relishing the cool scent of wet asphalt, and turn my head toward the rain, smiling as my eyelashes catch the few drops that fall in upon me from outside. It strikes me that sitting there, smiling at nothing, and smelling the rain, I might be the strangest guy on the bus.
One of the bros takes a bite of his burrito, a swig of his PBR, and showers his buddies and their poorly tailored suits in vomit as the 38 swerves to miss a double-parked car.
Everything returns to the status quo, as madness erupts around me.
The 38-Geary is one of our most talked-about lines. Who knows, you may run into The Most Interesting Man in the World (you may even be him, depending on how your day went), or you may find yourself quietly defending your sexuality and Little Mermaid backpack. If you have a story that’s worthy of the #OnlyonMuni hashtag, send it our way and you could win tickets (and saved choice seating) to Muni Diaries Live, set for Nov. 8 at the Elbo Room.
Says videographer Lindsay on Instagram:
“Oh my shit, it’s 1988.”
Some things—Bush, Sr.’s “read my lips” speech chief among them—are best left in 1988. Other things—A Fish Called Wanda, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, and rapping along with one’s boom box on public transit—are absolutely not.
I especially enjoy how the boom-box toting Muni Metro rapper is, maybe intentionally, rapping at the guy on the iPad ignoring him.
Let’s play Name That Tune. Go!
I beg your pardon! Those are brand-new seats, which smell like new toys on Christmas morning! Unless this is just a cautionary message because we’ve soiled our new things already. Could go either way on this, honestly.
Thx to Muni rider Lisa on the Instagramz. Tell your prettiest (or at least most visually evocative) stories to @munidiaries on Instagram.
Found on Spear Street near Mission, where one would never need adequate wayfinding signs. What’s a Transbay Transit Center? Where is the cable car? Important questions, these.
Between this and fingernail clipping on the streetcar today—that lady and her errant nail bits proved a fine ambassador to our even finer city—I’d like to extend my warmest welcome alongside heaps of good luck to you tourists.