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Muni: Where baseball and unicorns collide seamlessly

baseball_unicorn_backpack

We’re a San Francisco Giants kind of people here at Muni Diaries. But, contrary to certain belief systems (The Church of Being an Oakland A’s Fan), you can root root root for both home teams unless it’s 1989 and you’re busy being terrified during an earthquake. I was eight, and that shit was scary.

That said, I adore this backpack, which was a 2014 A’s promotional giveaway designed by actual A’s players. MLB.com had some insider-baseball (see what we did there) history into the why, but we tapped one of our go-to A’s fans, Ericka, for more colorful fan perspective:

A lot of teams make the bullpen rookies [ed. note: rookie relief pitchers] do silly stuff like dress up or carry around a crazy bag. The A’s had a Hello Kitty backpack Sean Doolittle carried with pride his rookie season. The next season, they got a Despicable Me unicorn backpack, but it didn’t fit all the stuff they needed (necessities like candy and seeds) so they attached it to the original Hello Kitty, creating an absolute abomination in the best way. It was silly, the fans loved it, and it fit so perfectly with the whole Island of Misfit Toys mentality the A’s have, they decided to make a promo out of it. Doolittle and Ryan Cook designed it. The actual player photos on the backpack are the perfect size to be covered with a small, round button (I hexed out Jim Johnson almost immediately because he’s the g-d worst) so as the guys move on through the revolving door that is Oakland baseball, you can modify without losing the integrity of the unicorn. It’s definitely one of my favorite promotions ever.

My takeaway is that Oakland blasted San Francisco out of its irony orbit with a backpack Lisa Frank would’ve crapped her pants to design. Well done, A’s. Well done.

h/t Muni rider Annette: “Sighting: anyone care to explain this unicorn backpack with baseball player vignettes? #idontsports #icanteven”

Join us at Muni Diaries Live on Saturday, April 18, for a night of true, hilarious, weird, and sweet stories that can only happen on Muni! Grab a ticket and we’ll see you there!

Send us your BART tails

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…and your tales.

Sorta like when someone was killing a box of Franzia on Muni for at least the second documented time, turns out this isn’t the first time someone was spotted wearing a tail on Bay Area transit. Or maybe both are real, I’m no expert or anything.

h/t BART rider babybird124

Tales, you say? Join us at Muni Diaries Live on Saturday, April 18, for a night of true, hilarious, weird, and sweet stories that can only happen on Muni! Grab a ticket and we’ll see you there!

Guy ‘blows’ attempt to be courteous on Muni

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We’re not always treated to a one-two rudeness punch, but there are some very special Muni riders out there.

Rider Mark, intrepid reporter in the field, says, “On the 9L [recently]…this guy blew his nose into his hand and smeared it all over that blue emergency seat. Then he moved across the aisle and told some lady to sit over there.”

Well, then. Regular rider-readers will know how protective people are of the smells-like-Christmas-morning seats on new Muni buses. Still others will know that you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t sometimes when it comes to public nose-blowing.

We’ll side with polite nose-blowing, given the apparent alternative.

On Muni, Please hold on . . .

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Please hold on, indeed: especially when the cargo is this precious. Sudden stops (of my HEART) might also be necessary. I don’t have anything for the “take one” sign, because as much as I’d like to, it might make this guy and his dog sad.

Many Muni riders say dog is their copilot on local transit. Some might even say cat is their copilot, while others might say “a motherfucking lizard is chilling on 6-Parnassus and thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for making it so.”

h/t for the most current cuteness to Muni rider schapi

The Onion: Anthropologists Classify 43 New Species Of Weirdo Within Subway Ecosystem

onion_weirdos

The Onion drew a great deal of “ha ha ha ha…awwwwww oh…man” from all San Franciscans with Man with Serious Mental Illness Committed to Bus, and it’s stealing y’alls’ material once again with a new, very real-sounding anthropological classification of “weirdos within subway ecosystem.” To whit:

  • Exit Through the Weirdos—trademark Muni Diaries Live alum and comedian Dhaya Lakshminarayanan—the most perfect OH/not-OH on Muni to date
  • Muni Metro bondage for the busy (time-strapped, even) commuter
  • Pizzaspreading” because I still just cannot with this guy, so I bring it up every chance I get
  • …and our favorite Muni WTFs of 2014—all the stuff that made us smile, gag, laugh, and cry because San Fran-fucking-cisco

 

NYC’s Etti-cat would be PURRfect for Muni

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From the good people at Gothamist (via Cute Overload), here’s proof that good transit manners and verbose tuxedo cats never go out of style.

Etti-Cat’s original purpose was apparently to discourage New York Subway graffiti in the early 1960s. Walking an arguably strange path from effect to cause, The Man said that this rampant graffiti was the result of the damned kids’ (so, our parents) smoking all the reefer.

Since BART is taking a stand against rude riders and Muni may address qualms over manspreading and other delights, I’d like to suggest stealing this idea, because people obviously care more about cats than infographics.

Not that we don’t have our own etiquette opinions, of course. It’s still bad form to do any kind of nail maintenance (be it filing, clipping, or polishing). Give up your seats for the elderly and the disabled (or even the “handicapped“). You’ll also make more friends if you refrain from disrobing on Muni.