John Waters Rides the 47, Wants to Be Muni Spokesman


Image: No Bunny Luvs You

100 Muni StoriesFrom No Bunny Luvs You’s Tumblr, via Uptown Almanac, here’s John Waters on Muni. Because he is John Waters, he’s being cool as a cucumber, badass, and probably very polite. Why isn’t he ever on my 47? I bet he always pays his fare share.

The Baltimore-based filmmaker has a well-documented love of Muni. In fact, he made our day recently when he wandered into our inbox:

Tell them thanks…I am waiting for Muni to hire me as their spokesperson!!

What say, SFMTA? I think you should take him up on it.

This post and other have been selected to be part of our 100 Days, 100 Muni Stories feature that celebrates Muni’s centennial this year. The best four of these 100 posts will end up on ads on all Muni buses later this year, so send us your story today!

Ms. Fix-It Saves the 12-Folsom (and Happy Hour)


Photo: Ian Fuller

100 Muni Stories

Blair stepped up and fixed the bus. No, you guys, she fixed the bus, saving happy hour and some 12-Folsom riders’ sanity.

Rider Blair teased us over on our Facebook Page with “I fixed the 12-Folsom tonight, where’s my cookie?” Well, here’s why I’m getting her cookies. Further proof that you should never, ever get between a lady and her beer.

The handicapped ramp was stuck on the ground after someone had used it at the 14th and Folsom stop (FoodSlow) and the driver just sat there and called it in, instead of trying to fix it. I finally got up after 10 mins and said ‘did you try to fiddle with it or just stare at it’; he grunted he did not try to fix it. I went outside and looked it over and asked him a few questions, kicked and tugged. He FINALLY tried the button, nothing, I said wait, kicked and pulled again and sure enough…it moved back into place. Everyone was very happy that they did not have to wait for the next 12 (40 mins) and I told the bus driver to try and fix things himself next time. My GF called me out knowing I was headed to meet her and friends for happy hour and that stupid ramp was between me and beer.

We all know that Muni needs a lot of fixing. Have you ever pitched in? Like really fixed it? If so, you might get cookies, too. Spin us a yarn at muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com.

Hey, That’s My Tattoo! Girl Reunites With Her Muni Tattoo

100 Muni StoriesThere’s devotion, and then there’s next-level total fucking adoration. Julie is the proud owner of the Muni worm tattoo you see here. What better way to celebrate Muni’s centennial than slapping some permanent art on your neck?

A few days after we posted a roundup of various Muni tattoos, one of the tattoo’s owners contacted us to tell us more.

Julie is the proud owner of the Muni neck tattoo. Here’s what she had to say upon discovering it on Muni Diaries:

That is me 3 years ago, at the fresh-faced age of 18 when I first got the tattoo. The day after, I was in Costco with my mom, and three dudes stopped me to ask if it was really the worm, and snapped this picture.

Here’s what Julie said about why she got the Muni worm tattoo’d on the back of her neck:

At 15, my mom kicked me out of the house, and I was out on the streets. I would sleep on the 90 or 91 when it was extra cold or rainy out. The drivers, despite their rough exterior, showed me ultimate compassion and sometimes would give me food or hot chocolate. The entire experience of being a street kid had a huge part in the chick I am today, so I got the worm.

Plus, it’s unique to San Francisco, and I’m a city kid to the core.

And the reaction she gets to the tattoo?

It’s always fun. Usually a laugh or two and then a question of why I got it. A lot of tagger kids think it’s pretty cool which always amuses me. Muni operators get a good laugh out of it too, and cable car drivers always tell me it’s my life pass and I can ride their trolley for free any day.

So much awesome is happening on the nape of Julie’s neck and in her story. Thanks for sharing, Julie!

This and other posts are being corralled over on our 100 Days, 100 Muni Stories page. Check out these tributes to the Muni experience, and send us your best Muni memories.

I ran into my dad on Muni. He was driving.

100 Muni StoriesThis is 10 kinds of cute. Or awesome. Perhaps horrifying, depending on how old you are. But Muni rider Andrew ran into his Muni driver father on his morning commute the other day, making it a completely unplanned dad-and-lad ride.

As Andrew says:

It was like Bring Your Son to Work Day, only with a 28-year-old kid. I asked if I could take the wheel, but he slapped my hands. Some things never change.

Also, per Andrew, this fun fact: It requires tons of torque to move the steering wheel on most Muni buses, in case there was any doubt. That’s why lots of drivers wear gloves.

This post was too good NOT to be considered for our 100 Days, 100 Muni Stories feature. We’re asking you to share your best Muni stories, and the four best will appear in ads on every single bus in town later this year. Send us your stories, or tag your best Muni tweets #100MuniStories!

Glazed and Confused


Photo by Lady in the radiator

100 Muni StoriesRider Ben sent over this diamond of a tale involving alleged porn stars, beer, and someone who thought he was Jet Li. Read on.

I’ve been riding MUNI for about 10 years now. My morning commute involves a three-way with the bus, the underground, and the F train. I used to wear headphones when on transit- it kind of lets you get out of the ugliness of being squashed with 1200 other people in a small, dirty, hot vehicle that starts and stops ease of a jackhammer. Headphones put you in your own world. But while I’ve had many, many terrible experiences on the bus, there’ve been some diamonds in there, too. This story is sort of a mixture of both, depending on which seat you were in.

I was waiting at a stop for the 21 last Saturday, wondering why I was even going out when I didn’t feel like it, and listening to a drunken conversation between two guys with huge fake mustaches. They had decided to explain their fake mustaches by telling people they had just come from a porn shoot, and were making up titles (their running favorite was Cumming to America). After the predict-a-bus said “Arriving” for about 15 minutes, and they’d come up with nearly every porn title ever imagined, the bus finally came.

Even when the bus is nearly empty like it was that night, I still like to sit in the back seats that face each other. The two mustaches followed to the seats across from me, and on the other side of the aisle an older couple sat across from a rather large, round, drunk hipster who somehow had a full plastic cup of beer. I hurried to sit down because I’ve been on the bus before, unlike the mustaches, and I knew that the bus driver likes to go from idle to 25 mph in half a second. Sure enough, the mustaches were scooped into the seats with a thump.

On the other side, the hipster’s beer had apparently sloshed forward (he was facing backwards), and he tried to “save” it by diving. In his drunkenness, he must’ve mistaken himself for Jet Li, when in reality he more closely resembled a garbage bag of oatmeal, and he sprawled onto the floor/old couple and completely covered them in beer. The lady gave a loud shriek and cringed, drenched, but the man stared forward without so much as a blink. The fat hipster was now on his knees, laying in the man’s lap, and everyone was very quiet for several seconds- I counted 3 drips of beer from the lady’s nose before anyone on the bus moved. Then the hipster looked up from the old man’s lap, saw how beer-soaked they were, and began giggling furiously. He didn’t even attempt to apologize as he peeled himself up off the floor and sat back down.

The couple waited until everyone finally looked away and then moved to another seat, embarrassed. The hipster was still giggling when he leaned over and told me “You know what the funny part is? The funny part (burp), the funny part is, I think they’re going to the same party as me.” I don’t know how he figured that, but when the old couple got off the bus two stops later, damned if he didn’t follow them. And he even looked up at me in the window and mock-splashed them again with the plastic cup, to a wave of laughter from the bus.

And then one mustache pointed to the poor couple walking away and said “Dude. Glazed and Confused.”

A Muni bus filled with ‘Oxford scholars’

22 fillmore
Photo by lorelei

100 Muni Stories

Muni rider Tara K. has a story that goes to show, you never know what kind of colorful character you’ll encounter on Muni:

Okay, today is the day I’ll be early to work…well, on time. I set out in high hopes of catching an early 22-Fillmore bus. I get on the bus and there is actually a seat!

Inevitably, 2 minutes into my ride, the bus breaks down in the middle of Church and Market. The passengers, all grumbles, start to shuffle. The bus driver announces that she will drop everyone off at the next bus stop and wait for assistance. As the bus stops at a stop sign people step down and everyone gets off. The bus driver announces for a second time that she will take people to the next stop but no one seems to understand.

That’s when the magic happens. A older woman, probably in her 80s, dressed in matching red and white from head to toe, turns to the remaining three people on the bus and yells “well, looks like this bus was filled with a bunch of God damned Oxford scholars. I tell ya the City is filled with ‘em!” I glance at another passenger as we suppress a burst of laughter. Then the show begins. The older woman continues on asking, “why the hell are people so stupid? Didn’t they hear that the driver is gonna take us to the next stop. A bunch of cattle, they are.”

As the driver pulls up to the stop the older woman turns to us all once again. She smiles and says, “well, it’s too bad they all missed the extra ride, the idiots, but it was nice ridin’ with y’all.” I catch her eye and say, “it’s really too bad they missed a great comedian!” She looks at me askance (Oh God, was that too cutesy for this lady, now I’m gonna get it), giving me a half smile and guffaw…and whaps me on the leg with her cane while nodding in recognition of her performance!

Note to self: Always ride Muni early cuz the bus will break down and you could be smiling for days.

It either happened to you, or around you. Share your Muni story on Muni Diaries.

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