How to Pick Up Chicks on Muni

Muni has already been voted as the best place to meet singles, so it was fitting that AskMen.com put together a handy guide of “Picking Up Women on Public Transit” for all the dudes out there who are too busy to go to bars and clubs. Muni has also been the training ground for pickup artists a little while ago when that awful book was still hot. So let’s see what the dating experts have to say about getting flirty during your commute.

The gurus at AskMen.com recognize that every guy is milliseconds away from being a creep, so most importantly, the guide suggests:

On public transport, it is imperative that you initiate a conversation as soon as the proximity is socially acceptable (for example, when she sits down beside you, you stand beside her). Wait any longer and you’ll come off as a creepy stranger who’s been silently plotting your move for the past five minutes.

You should also have your opening line ready once you approach her. As such:

Essentially, there are three types of opening lines you could use on public transport: situational remarks (“I can’t believe the bus is actually on time for once”), specific compliments (“Nice bag. Where did you get it?”), or something bold and totally out of the blue.

Dudes of San Francisco, may I also suggest, “We should totally tweet about this Muni ride to Muni Diaries.” Try it. It totally works.

Gents, what’s your pickup technique on transit, and ladies, what’s the best overheard pickup line on Muni?

White Whines on Muni

7 Minutes
Photo by Jamison Wieser

We enjoy a good White Whine here on Muni Diaries. We’re as guilty as anyone else: “Why is the internet out?!” “What is wrong with my Muni app!?” “This cheese is too cold!” We posted an analog White Whine on the 5-Fulton and giggled for days. I even made it on the White Whine site a few years ago — enter pride here — for complaining about my RSS feed vis-a-vis a European vacation.

We’re fortunate to be able to whine about tech toys and subpar service in restaurants. Because we relish any chance to poke fun at our privileged selves, we compiled our favorite Muni-related first-world problems as they’ve filtered into @munidiaries on Twitter. Here’s a few of our faves.

You’re on notice, Apple, Inc:

Thanks Muni. Going to miss my Apple genius bar appt now.

Struggling so hard to make it back to Pac Heights from SOMA on Muni. iPhone you’re failing me… And you NEVER FAIL ME.

You’ll get used to it. Sort of:

ugh why is my class tomorrow at 8:30 in FISHERMAN’S WHARF THAT IS SO FAR AWAY I’M ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THE MUNI

Probably my favorite. Well done:

Could really have used wifi on the muni this morning. Yes, I’m ready for the last refuge from email to be surrendered. #brainimplantsnow

Here’s to the be-MacBooked, and the be-smartphoned. May all our whines always be, er, white.

Let’s Play ‘What’s Grosser?’


Image by Flickr user muilak

Rachael posted an interesting question on the Muni Diaries Facebook Page yesterday:

Maybe I’m weird about germs but to me walking around barefoot is no more/less gross than touching everything on the bus then sitting down to eat a sandwich. Why do people eat on Muni?

Which led me to wonder which was actually grosser. I haven’t decided yet, but I’ve probably spent too much time thinking about it already.

The floor is just plain grody. I’ve let bare legs and bare hands touch seats and rails before even thinking about putting a bag on the floor. I think we can agree that the chicken and formaldehyde combo platter is an appetite-killer for all involved. But Muni riders snack on food that isn’t stuck to the window all the time, and it doesn’t always bother me. That said, we use our bare hands to eat, sometimes before washing our hands when we’re late to dinner and about to eat a limb for sustenance. OK, maybe by we, I mean me.

But, which is worse? Barefoot riding or eating while riding?

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