Category: Funny: Muni LOLs

Cable Car Confessions #11: Top 10 Manners

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Time for the June 2009 edition of Cable Car Confessions. This month, Laura shares 10 common-sense etiquette rules for the cable car, some of which apply to all Muni vehicles. Pay attention, riders!

Ding ding all aboard. “Next stop Powell Street Chinatown. Tickets please show me your tickets please.” The locals know the following 10 ten list of manners and etiquette on the cable car. Some I agree with and others I try to remember to follow. Either way, riding the cable car is my favorite method of public transportation. Wouldn’t it be yours if you lived in San Francisco?

I have some questions for the woman I saw applying her mascara the other day, during rush hour on the cable car. Does she know that there are some spoken and unspoken manners and etiquette rules? My cable car confession to you is that I wish I knew some of the items on this list before I started riding the cable car. It was a lot of fun learning them though. (Click here to get all caught up with the other cable car confessions.)

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Sex God on the 38L

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lick

Photo by Flickr user Nitniziv

 

From Muni rider Karoline …

It was a lazy day – so I took the bus instead of walking. I got lucky, an aisle seat on the 38L near the back door.

Or so I thought.

As we stop near Union square, a child is about one foot away from me. I see her take a big wipe at her runny nose with her hand and then immediately grab the pole. Gross! I remind myself that this is exactly why I wash my hands as soon as I get home.

Then, from the back of the bus I hear a young man is talking to his friend about a sexual encounter. Yes, the snot-child near me could hear it, too. He’s talking very loudly about the AMAZING blow job he got. “She sucked me so good,” he says. “It felt so good” and “her booty was bangin’!”

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The Chicken on the Bus Goes…

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Photo by Flickr user chudo.sveta

From the Muni Diaries submission inbox:

So this isn’t strictly a Muni related incident but it’s tangentially related to the fuss about the alleged story about Asian woman killing a live chicken before boarding a bus in Chinatown.

A few weeks ago I was visiting my friend who is working for the Peace Corps in Honduras. We were in the capital, Tegucigalpa, trying to catch a bus out to a town near her village. When the bus finally rolled by, it was nearly full but we got the last two seats waaaaay in the back of the bus. There was a family of three sitting in the two seats next to ours– a mom, a dad, and a young girl on his lap.

After settling in for the three-hour ride, I started watching the family. I don’t understand much Spanish, but I could get enough that they were worried about something. They had a small brown bag, maybe the size that you would put a sandwich and an apple in. The girl was really excited about something in the bag– I decided it must be a new toy her parents had bought her in the big city and now they were going home. The mom looked in the bag and said, “Where did the other one go?” and I thought, “Oh, there were two toys and one must have fallen out onto the floor.”

They started looking in their other bags and under all the seats around them. Then the dad picked up the paper bag, opened it up and a tiny chick poked its head out and said, “CHEEP!” The girl laughed delightedly and everyone around them suddenly had a newfound interest in finding “the other one.”

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs

Snakes on the 9!

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From the Muni Diaries submissions inbox:

This actually happened in 2001, but this I just heard about this site today so….

New years eve 2001/2002, I decided to go to one of those giant raves they used to have at the Cow Palace. I lived downtown, so took the 9 out to the Cow Palace. The trip there and the party were uneventful, but ride home was surreal.

A few stops down the line a guy gets on and sits down near me. He was a big ripped dude, probably 6’6″ 250lbs. He was wearing what looked like a prisoner jumpsuit, and had a cast on his arm. He was sweating like crazy and his eyes were bugging out of his skull.

He was sitting across from me near the back of the bus. He kept twitching and muttering under his breath, standing up then sitting right back down. The only word i could make out was “snakes”. Before long he started asking people if they have seen the snakes on the bus. Of course, nobody had, and this just starts to agitate him.

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A Letter to a Fellow Passenger

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Waiting for a phone call.
Photo by Flickr user Mylla

The use of cell phones appears to be the biggest bus etiquette faux pas this week. Rider Sara had an earful of phone conversation on the 5 from “Caroline” so she’s written her a personal letter here.

Caroline, summer student at the Lines Ballet School at USF, SHUT THE HELL UP.

The next time you think it’s a good idea to get on a completely packed 5 during evening rush hour and make phone call after phone call, why don’t you actually stop and think about it. And realize it is a terrible idea. I don’t need to hear you scream to your friend that, after much consideration, you decided you’d like to go to law school at Harvard or Yale. Oh, wow, it took consideration to realize the No. 1 and No. 2 ranked law schools in the nation are where you need to be? Good luck fighting for those spots with the million other idealistic kids who are going to apply to law school this year.

But as you said, your dad is right, you’re a shoe-in. I mean, you did three practice LSAT questions and got them all right! Congratulations. And your dream of going to law school so you can work at a nonprofit? I hope you’re willing to fight with the zillion laid off lawyers and deferred incoming associates whose law firms are paying them to go work at nonprofits.

Fortunately, I was able to turn my Kanye West up loud enough to drown out whatever you said next. That is, until you took the empty seat next to me and proceeded to call person after person at USF to inquire about the iPod you lost on campus today. It probably got stolen while you were on the 5 by someone like me who wanted you to pay dearly for making their commute more irritating than usual. I hope whoever stole it is enjoying the Taylor Swift and Kelly Clarkson you most likely have on that damn thing.

Got a Muni gripe or a holler? Let us know.

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This Will Make You Thankful for Muni: Highway 17 Express

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Rider Michael’s trip away from San Francisco lead him to the Highway 17 Express and a ride that was much longer than a typical Muni ride, on a road that’s far from ideal compared with our city streets.

Friday, I decided to take the afternoon off and head over to Santa Cruz. I had already taken Caltrain to Santa Clara County for some morning business and figured I’d just catch the Highway 17 Express from downtown San Jose. The next bus that I could make left at 12:40 and so I booked a 2:30 appointment figuring I’d have plenty of time.

All was well until we neared Los Gatos and traffic came to a dead stop. A little past the Highway 9 offramp, an overhead sign warned of an accident before the summit with “lanes blocked.” Well, there are only two lanes, so if “lanes” are blocked, we are probably in trouble. We crept along until the driver announced that we would be turning around at Bear Creek so we could go back and take Highway 9.

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Category: Funny: Muni LOLs
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