Category: Funny: Muni LOLs

Hump-and-Run on the N-Judah (updates, w/NBC news video)

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N-Judah Approaching
Photo by Flickr user Anna Conti

(see updates below the fold)

Original post: So I’m submitting this on behalf of a friend who is mortified by this and doesn’t want to relive the experience. Three times now she’s encountered this guy on the N Judah who likes to grind on women on crowded N-Judah trains. She calls him, “the Muni humper.”

Twice now he’s humped on her and once she witnessed him humping the shoulder of a woman who was sitting down. Once this guy notices his hump victim is on to him, he quickly gets off the train.

She describes him as young, short, “kind of squatty,” and said that each time she saw him he was wearing a baseball hat and a T-shirt with anime or some sort of T.V. characters on it. Oh, and he seems to like to strike during the evening rush hour. All you shoulders out there, beware!

Photo by Flickr user omar nyc

(SFist picked this story up [thanks, guys!], so check there for extra, oh-so-enlightening comments. More comments at NBC Bay Area‘s site and N Judah Chronicles.)

Update 3: NBC Bay Area ran the story, including an interview with commenter Amanda.

 

Update 2: It’s Friday now, nearly two full days since we first posted, and man does this story have legs. NBC reports that not only has SFMTA opened an investigation (see comments, below), but that the SFPD issued a statement on this perp:

SAN FRANCISCO POLICE SEEKING PUBLIC’S HELP IN LOCATING SEXUAL BATTERY SUSPECT

The San Francisco Police Department is seeking the public’s help in attempting to locate Municipal Transit riders who have been victims of a sexual battery. On the morning of May 8, a witness reported seeing the suspect rubbing his pelvis against a woman on the inbound N-Judah line. The victim in the incident has not been identified. The witness also saw the suspect on the outbound N-Judah the same evening. The suspect got off the train at the Powell Street Station. The witness reported the incident to police.

The suspect is described as a Hispanic male, early 20s, 6’, 250 lbs, mustache and goatee with long cornrows on the side of his head down to the collar. He was last seen wearing a black jacket, jeans, and had earrings in both ears.

It is believed that the same suspect has been committing similar sexual batteries that have not been reported. Anyone who has been the victim of this or other incidents should contact the police as soon as possible. Most Muni vehicles are equipped with surveillance video.

For more information please contact:

Public Affairs Office
553-1651

Hear that? The police want you to come forward if you’ve witnessed or been a victim of this lunatic. No need to even go anonymous here. Just please step forward with the authorities, and perhaps we can bring this person to justice and all feel a little better about riding Muni again.

Update 1:

This picture just arrived in our inbox from Amanda, along with the following note:

Hi there,
For the “Hump-and-Run on the N-Judah” article I have a picture of this guy.  He did this to me one day and then I actually saw him on the N the very next day.  What are the odds?  He was wearing the same shirt and still blasting his music from his speakerphone.  I took a picture with my phone – not the best quality but at least you can see what he looks like.  I couldn’t find a place to post the picture with my comment but my friend Kenneth gave me this email address and told me to send it over to you.
Thanks!
Amanda

[photo removed due to pending court matters]

So, Mr. Shoulder-Lover: Is this you? We’d love to hear from you, assuming you’re literate. (-Jeff)

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, WTF: Weirdness on Muni Tags: , ,

Muni Mind Reader: The Bigot

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The Shouting Balloon Finally BurstThis week’s crystal-ball installment of Muni Mind Reader channels a voice that you might have heard before on the bus — the opinionated bigot who loves to spew his spiel on the unlucky bus rider next to him. For the grouch, there is no “inside voice” and the Muni bus is his perfect soapbox where you have no escape. Well, not until your stop comes up anyway.

Good afternoon!

You look like a fine, upstanding citizen, one with a sound mind and solid principles. I am just certain you won’t mind if I drop a little of  my hate-filled agenda on you. In fact, I have no doubts whatsoever that you are 100 percent in agreement.

Now don’t you say anything at all. I know a person by just looking at them what they’re thinking and what they’re all about. And well, the second I got on the bus, I just knew you were on the same page as me. Can’t put my finger exactly on it. Maybe it’s because you smiled at me or moved your bags off the seat next to you so I could sit down.

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Breastfeeding on the 71L

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On est bien chez sa maman

In March, we posted a photo of a woman breastfeeding on the J-Church. The post prompted a lot of comments on either side of the public-breastfeeding debate. We learned that it is perfectly legal (of course, why wouldn’t it be?) to breastfeed in public in California — in fact, it is illegal to prohibit anyone from doing so in a public place. But what’s legal might still be considered out of the norm, as you can see from this email that we got from Mary today.

At 5:15 p.m. last night, the 71L was packed with the usual mixed clientele of workers, tourists and street people. At Van Ness a woman with small baby in front carrying pack got on the bus. She was offered a couple of seats as she passed toward the back of the bus, but she said she would stand. She had a cover over the baby, but as she passed me I could see from the side she was breast feeding the baby.

About four stops later the bus driver, woman, stood up and asked that the woman with the baby come forward. She did. After the bus driver spoke to her, she turned around and said to everyone, “Hey there’s no pornography going on here so you can all relax,” as she made her way back through the bus to where she had been standing. As she spoke to the woman accompanying her, she said the driver said several passengers had complained about her showing her breasts.

Unbelievable. It took me back 40 years to when I was breast feeding my son in the reception area of UCSF Medical Center and a security guard came and asked me to go to the restroom to feed my son. Yes, I had a blanket over him and me and “nothing” was showing.

So the most natural and best of motherhood is still not acceptable on Muni in San Francisco.

And as all this played out, two very intoxicated men stood over me swearing and carrying on a very drunk conversation about sex with some tourist woman they had met.

And Muni wants me to pay $1 more a day for this ride!

– Mary Stream

Good for the driver to stand up for this mom. I’m surprised that passengers would have complained to the driver about the mother showing her breasts. If you’ve been a reader of this blog or if you’ve been on Muni at all, you’d know there are plenty of other things to complain about besides breastfeeding.

Photo by Flickr user Raphael Goetter

Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs Tags: , ,

Two-Seat-Takin’, Big-Balls-Havin’ Guy, in Photos

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Since time immemorial, we’ve known about his type. Recently, Muni Mind Reader Tiffany Maleshefski paid tribute to him — he who takes up more than one seat on Muni solely by virtue of being well-endowed in the genital region (we suspect, rather flatteringly).

Well, Tiffany did us all the favor of capturing some images of this unfortunately not-so-rare species. For your enjoyment, watch as this man’s leg migrates ever closer to Tiffany’s lap. A note from Tiffany: “My leg is the brown trouser pant. You’ll note we are not dating and don’t know each other at all. Yet he is perfectly comfortable having his legs in my personal space.”

More photos of this progression below the fold …

assonseat

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Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, Photos Tags: ,

Douche bag alert and regulation

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Cigar guyMy colleague Jeff and I were finishing up our drinks at 83 Proof around Midnight, last Thursday night-Friday morning – big shout out to Hazel and Mark, btw – after a hectic night of editin’, paginatin’ and copyeditin’ for the SF Examiner. While plotting our next move, Jeff suggested we go to the Toronado since we were going to the Lucky 13 – our regular Thursday night watering hole – the following night to drink with Muni Diaries’ own Jeff Hunt and Tara Ramroop, who are celebrating their recent engagement (Like it hasn’t been mentioned on Muni Diaries a hundred times already, but, I digress). So I says, “Since you want to go to the Toronado, I suggest we take the 6-Parnassus, cause it’ll drop us off right out front.” After some haggling and debate over the length of time the 6 will take versus the underground, Jeff acquiesced to my suggestion, and what a great decision that turned out to be.

With “trusty” nextbus on my cell phone, I saw that we had 5 minutes to catch one at Market and Battery streets. Five minutes turned into about 6 or 7, but the bus did come (thankfully) and we got on. I sat in the seat on the driver’s side that has that extra leg room, just behind the first row that faces forward. Jeff sat on the seat behind me, and at this time, we were the only passengers on the bus. As we head down Market, stop to stop, the usual mish-mash of folks slowly amble on, from the young man with the drum sticks and faux-hawk, to the late-shift restaurant workers getting off work, to the quiet, silent types with their headphones and glasses, to the crackhead who had a hard time getting his fare together who then sat behind the driver not far from the young man with drum sticks and proceeded to sing and talk to himself trying to make eye contact with everyone in the front of the bus. This caused young man with drum sticks and faux-hawk to move to the back of the bus, opposite the driver’s side, to the seats that face each other. He sat in the row facing the front of the bus. A couple stops later, wanna be alpha-male and overall-slick mother fucker douche bag gets on the bus.

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Category: diaries, Funny: Muni LOLs, reflection Tags: ,
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