Your place to share stories on and off the bus.
Photo by Amber Wolf of Wiz Bang Photography
Our special guest Anna Conda kicked off the show by reading the winning review on Google Places by PuckPuck (above). PuckPuck’s review was hilarious, even better read by the glamorous Anna! PuckPuck also received a $100 gift certificate to Hog and Rocks. Read more
Photo by Shanan
Today’s winner is “ArchiJoey,” whose review of the 45-Union includes upskirts, frontal (and back) nudity, and Fleet Week pilots. Just another day on the bus, right?
45 Union/Stockton: Gone are my days of trekking from SOMA to the Inner Richmond on an odd combo of buses that varied based on a complicated algorithm I perfected over 5 years. No, for the last two years I’ve been riding in style on the 45 Union Stockton, or as my 88-year-old grandma calls it the E-car (perhaps it was called this in a pre-WWII era). I say “in style” because I’m usually able to get a seat in the lounge area in the back of the bus with the I-Banker frat boys and Tory Burch bedecked Marina girls.
From there we have a good view at the poor souls who get on in North Beach and have to do the seat tango with the Chinatown grandmas. Though sometimes we have more risque amusement in the back lounge. Once I got a good eyeful of some full frontal and backal nudity of dude who stopped to take a poop on Stockton Street in rush hour traffic.
I have also met several interesting men on the 45. There were the pilots one Fleet Week who offered me twenty bucks to lift up my skirt, the drunk tourist from Chicago who violently fell from his seat as the bus started to lurch up Union Street and got to look up my skirt for free, and the perfect guy who was literally going to the airport to move away from the Bay Area.
But perhaps its greatest attribute is the intense feat of strength that the 45 performs numerous times every day. I honestly do not think that there is a bus that is designed to go up the Union Street Hill. I imagine a group of Muni engineers sitting around trying to devise a way to defy the laws of physics and get a bus over the hill and finally saying “F&*$ it, let’s try it out.” And f*$# all, it worked.
Some days it does slow to a tortoise like crawl as it squeaks up the hill and I silently chant “I think I can, I think I can,” and at least once a week it rolls backward a few yards and I think I’m going to die on the corner of Polk Street, but the driver always seems to get us moving upwards in just the nick of time. So 45 Union/Stockton, I thank you for curing me of my fear of hills, introducing me to the fab footwear of the Marina girls, and maybe someday I can thank you for helping me find a guy who I’ll willingly let look up my skirt.
Write your own review of a Muni line on Google Places and you can win $50 tomorrow. Go on, tell us all about your Muni ride.
Photo by juicyrai
At last night’s Reunion/Open-Mic event, Anna Conda announced the winner of our Google Places Muni Review contest. “puckpuck” took it home with his review of the 49-Van Ness, read on stage brilliantly last night by Anna:
And you and I both liked to hang out in the mission. Hey, remember that time you called it an early night and left me at oak and market? I had to wander around those maze of streets to look for the owl. Ended up riding with drunks and the working class. I hated you so much for that. But looking back at it now, it really was kind of funny. I’m sorry it’s been so long. I ended up moving to Alamo Square and met a girl on Filmore. She’s 22 (young I know). We go to the Marina and hang out with Crissy. You should come with us sometime! If you can get past Fort Mason. It would be really handy. Don’t worry, I know how it is. I won’t hold my breath. I don’t need to now with the 22, haha, I’m kidding. I know that’s unfair. It’s not your fault you have to work with the 14. He’s a hard worker but it definitely shows. I know things aren’t the same with us, but I think of you often and I wont forget you easily 49. You will always be my 7×7! xoxo
If you haven’t written a review yet, it’s not too late. We still have several runner-up $50 prizes to dole out, so head over to Google Places and review the Muni route of your choice. We can’t wait to read them!
Come over to the dark side, my dears, we have candy, Muni tales, crack, booze, and bacon.
No, really, we do.
For our open mic tonight at the Elbo Room, Nosh This will be selling his delicious “Bacon Crack” — chocolate-dipped bacon butter toffee with almonds, and a bunch of other devilish treats (balsamic vinegar caramels, anyone?)
You can also get the newest batch of Fast Pass Clipper Card holders made especially for Muni Diaries by Heathered.
All that and you get to hear stories from your favorite past performers and special guest Anna Conda, who’ll be announcing the winner of our Google Places contest, and reading that lucky duck’s Muni review!
See you at the show!
Details:
Muni Diaries Reunion/Open Mic Show
$5, First Drink Free courtesy of Google Places!
Tonight, Wednesday Sept. 28. Signup starts at 6:30 p.m., show 7 p.m. – 9 p.m.
Elbo Room, 647 Valencia St. (between 17th and 18th Street). J, 12, 14, 22, 33, 49, BART
Found this on instagram. As shinranshoni says, “Derp muni is right.”
Also, we’re having a Muni Diaries live event tonight at the Elbo Room. You should totally go. Totally.
The first place review also gets a $100 gift certificate to Hog and Rocks. Mmm. Delicious ham and oysters. We also have four more $50 cash prizes to give away for your Google Places Muni review, so get to it!
It’s very easy:
1. Go to the SFMTA page on Google Places.
2. Click Write a Review.
3. Write your most entertaining take on a Muni line or on Muni in general. (You can’t select a Muni line on Google Places, so simply write in the review which line you’re referring to).
4. Add the #MuniDiaries hashtag at the end of your review.
5. Click Submit.
There. Fame, oysters, and money may soon be yours.