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Get ready for the next Muni Haiku Battle!

muni-haiku-battle-jesse-james-2014
Photo by Kevin Wong/Right Angle Images

We’re getting ever so close to the next Muni Haiku Battle at Muni Diaries Live, so it’s time to meet our challenger! Say hello to Ronn Vigh, comedian and former writer for E’s Fashion Television. Ronn will be bringing his best Muni 5-7-5s to the battle at Muni Diaries Live on Nov. 8. He’ll be battling our reigning champion Jesse James (that’s Jesse so graciously accepting his Flavor Flav-inspired Muni Haiku trophy necklace in the photo above?)

Ronn’s been writing some hilarious three-word tweets that describe his love life (er…”drier than California,” he says), so we can only imagine what he can do with 17 syllables.

Here’s Ronn at the Punchline:

Get your tickets now, and get ready to cheer for the next Muni Haiku champion!

I was riding the 14-Mission during Loma Prieta

loma prieta earthquake. by joe lewis
Photo by Joe Lewis

Of all the days you could get on the wrong bus, Karla Milosevich accidentally got on an express on Oct. 17, 1989, the day that the big one hit. Today is the 25th anniversary of the Loma Prieta earthquake, and the website Earthquake Weather has been gathering stories about the quake. Here’s Karla’s:

I was working a temp job on the 12th floor of a downtown office on Spear Street, and had just gotten off work. I caught the 14 Mission bus to go to the café on Valencia Street where my sister worked, but accidentally boarded the express one, which was headed towards Daly City. I couldn’t get off before the freeway so I was standing in the crowded bus, holding the rail over my head, looking out the window and lamenting how much longer it was going to take me to get home.

We were stopped, waiting for a light, and then the bus kind of rolled and it sounded like metal on metal, I figured we were having an accident on the side I couldn’t see. It seemed like a car was scraping against the bus. But then I could also see a guy who had been asleep in his car– he woke up and was all startled. I was wondering about the connection because his car wasn’t touching the bus, then people started saying “Earthquake”, “That was an earthquake!”

We sat there for a few minutes, then got on the freeway anyway, business as usual. I got off as soon as I could, in the way outer Mission. Around then, all the buses stopped running, so there was no way to get back. This was before cell phones, so I started walking to the Mission. As it happened, this guy I know, Dave Cohen, happened to be driving by and gave me a ride home. That was pretty lucky! That’s when I started to hear about how much damage there was.

Were you on Muni during the ’89 earthquake? Tell your story to 1989Quake.com.

I was on the 54-Felton during the 1989 earthquake

jenifer wofford muni illustration
Illustration by Jenifer Wofford

Do you remember where you were when the big one hit in 1989? Tomorrow is the 25th anniversary of the Loma Prieta earthquake, and Jenifer Wofford
of Earthquake Weather has been gathering stories about the quake. Stories on her site are accompanied by her wonderful illustrations such as the one above. San Franciscan Gabe Wachob happened to be riding the 54-Felton that fateful evening. Here’s his story.

On the evening of Oct 17, 1989, I was a 16 year old senior at Lick-Wilmerding High School. When the earthquake hit, I was on the 54 Felton on my way home after a late day at school (why I was going home at 5, I don’t remember). It was a normal day, except abnormally hot as we all know, except about 2 minutes after we crossed Mission (on Persia), while at a stop, someone started trying to tip the old bus over. Or so we thought. It was a strange experience – those old diesel buses were not exactly lightweight… When I looked up (during the shaking) I saw “standing waves” in the electricity lines above. I knew it was an earthquake.

The bus continued on the route – I don’t think we knew the magnitude of what had happened. It was clear, as we continued on, that it was a serious event, however. Driving through a part of town with 2 story stucco-d houses with garages on the first floor, we could see big cracks in the stucco around almost every garage.
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Muni Riders Debate: What is a pussy bow, anyway?

muni cat east portal
Hint: It’s not this. Photo by DavidyDave

You see a lot of weird stuff on Muni, and some of them you can’t even begin to describe. This morning, @spiegelmama tweeted about a mystery item that defied definition for some of us.

Do you know what a pussy bow is? We polled our fellow Muni riders to find out: without Googling it, define “pussy bow.”

Muni Diaries Jeff says:
1. a bow worn in the crotch area
2. a naked woman with her pubes in a bow
3. a bow (doesn’t matter where it’s worn) that looks like a vagina

BrokeAss Stuart says: I have no idea. But I think I want one.

Muni rider Matt says: “it is the worst piercing ever.”

BART Diaries Ed says: “Like a decorative barette or something for one’s lady area.”

Muni rider Johnny Tripod says: “A bow given when the skirt-wearing bow-er has forgotten to put on her underwear. Oops!”

Muni rider Aaron says: “More complicated version of the g-string?”

Rider Pozu says: “Personally, I don’t care for pussy bows. I like the possibility of a revealing if fleeting glance at her charms. I hope that doesn’t give it away.”

Sorry to disappoint, but according to Wikipedia, a pussy bow is “a style of neckwear often associated with women’s blouses and bodices. It takes the form of a bow tied at the neck, similar to those that used to be tied around kittens’ and cats’ necks.”

For example, here is Margaret Thatcher wearing a pussy bow blouse.

Margaret Thatcher in a pussy-bow blouse
Photo via The Guardian

Now you can carry on with your day. You’re welcome!

Muni Diaries Live is back!

MDL12
Hapa Ramen‘s Richie Nakano at Muni Diaries Live on March 2, 2013

Anything can happen on Muni, and we’re here to blow up the party talk with a great group of Fall 2014 storytellers! Come celebrate all the hilarity that can happen on the way from Point A to Point B.

We’ve got another amazing lineup for you guys at our show on November 8. Our stellar storytellers for next month are:

Josh Cereghino, master storyteller and three-time Moth Grand Slam winner.
Kevin Fagan, long-time reporter at the San Francisco Chronicle.
Mat Honan, technology journalist at Wired who “gives good internet.”
Jesse James, reigning champion of the Muni Haiku Battle!
Dhaya Lakshminarayanan, named Best Comedian 2013 in the San Francisco Bay Guardian‘s “Best of the Bay” Readers’ Poll.
Ronn Vigh, former writer for Fashion Police on E! Television. Yogi when not hungover. Jersey Boy at heart.
Klee Wiggins, comedian, writer, self-described “sci-fi, liquor and literature enthusiast and reluctant actress.”

Ronn Vigh will also be battling Jesse James in the Muni Haiku showdown! Will Jesse keep his crown? Come and find out!

Muni Diaries Live

Advanced Tickets
Saturday, Nov. 8, 2014. Doors: 6 p.m. Show: 7 p.m.
Elbo Room: 647 Valencia Street, San Francisco
Take Muni there: J-Church, 12, 14, 22, 33, 49, or BART: 16th or 24th Street Stations

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