BART

Not enough seats on BART? Just bring your own!

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DIY is a way of life. Around here, one of the forms that takes is people bringing their own seating on public transit. We’ve seen people sitting in chairs in and around Muni plenty of times.

Now, BART rider Pablo brings us this little tale:

I saw this snazzy-looking fella in Balboa Park sitting on his office chair like it ain’t no thang. He then proceeded to take it with him on a ride to Civic Center. Too bad it wasn’t rush hour time or this man would have achieved legendary status by sitting on the chair he apparently carries around for personal use WHILE ON BART.

Total nut job or genius of the century? YOU DECIDE.

Also, it was pretty amusing seeing his chair roll around all over the car when he wasn’t looking. Maybe this can also turn into a new pastime, like catch the chicken, only with an office chair instead.

Maybe Pablo is right.

BART shares common-sense etiquette rules

Because some adults need help chewing their food and tying their shoelaces, BART has put together this tutorial on how not to be an asshole.

A list of no-shit BART rules of thumb:

  • 0:20: Look for emptier cars in front or in the back of your train.
  • 0:30: Form a line behind the “do not cross this line or you will die” yellow markers.
  • 0:37: Get the fuck out of the way so that people on the train can off-board. See also: elevators.
  • 0:47: Don’t crowd the door area when there are empty spaces like, three feet away down the aisle.
  • 0:57: (everyone’s favorite) Take your goddam backpack off when you’re standing up! And don’t make us tell you again!
  • 1:09: Don’t put your feet on the seat or we will beat you to a bloody pulp.
  • 1:16: Give up your seat unless you want us to brand your forehead with “asshole” writ large.
  • 1:25: Stack bikes when there are more than one. And don’t block the door or aisle with your bike, mkay?
  • 1:36: Unless you’re a masochist who enjoys torture by mob, don’t hold the doors open.

There you have it. Thanks, BART. Now we no longer have to deal with any of these transgressions ever again, right?

Did you think they were going to use TLC’s “No Scrubs” as the soundtrack, also? Because at first, I thought they might just use “No Scrubs” as the soundtrack.

Are you ready for some shaming?

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Now that the Superb Owl is over, it’s time for everyone’s other favorite spectator sport, BART and Muni shaming, for which there is never an offseason.

We have Exhibit A, above, via Muni rider Victoria: “This guy didn’t give up seat for pregnant woman, is talking on phone & has legs wide spread.”

Oh, good. Totally makes up for it if you’re on the phone and man-sitting.

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Then, via BART rider and friend extraordinaire Eileen: “I like to call it ‘I’m pretending to sleep so I don’t have to acknowledge the octogenarians in need of a seat swaying to and fro.’”

As much as I love a good game of peek-a-boo, this is neither the time nor the place.

Transit News: Muni on-time rate, BART contract, F-Market buses, Sunday meters

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Photo by eviloars

  • In S.F., Muni slows, crime grows (SFGate)
  • 87 Percent of BART’s Biggest Union OKs New Contract (SF Appeal)
  • Smart cards [including Clipper] harder to hack and harder to get in U.S. (KTVU)
  • F-Market Buses All This Weekend (Market Street Railway)
  • Mayor Lee panders to motorists and undermines SFMTA with Sunday metering repeal (SF Bay Guardian)
  • Millbrae City Council takes first step to two major projects near BART, Caltrain stations (The Daily Journal)