Muni Mind Reader: The Tourist

Tourists to the WharfWe know them, we loathe them, but really, where would we be without their daily, monthly, yearly fiscal contributions to the livelihood of our little burg? Let’s face it — San Francisco is a tourism magnet, so best to suck it up next time you get annoyed during your probably-already-annoying Muni ride. Here’s the oh-so-insightful Muni Mind Reader‘s travel log from her journey far into the inner neurological reaches of the Tourist.

Excuse me, driver? This is the 43-Masonic yes? The 43? That’s what it says on the front of the bus.

DRIVER: Yes. 43.

Driver? This is the 43-M-A-S-O-N…I-C.

DRIVER: Yes.

And this goes to the Inner Richmond? We need to get over to 16th and Balboa. Will this take us to 16th and Balboa?

DRIVER. Yes. Just get on the bus ma’am, we need to go.

Okay! Come on everyone, this is the bus!! How much is it? How much do we need to pay to get on the bus? Oh honey, it says right here we need $2. Do you have $2? We’ll need $8 total. Driver, can I get change for a $20?

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Muni trip turned Muni strip

Muni rider, not pole dancer
Photo by Flickr user lexflex

The following account by Sonia involves real people doing real things. Really.

My mighty, mighty good man David and I were heading to an A’s game and decided to take the T-train from our apartment in Dogpatch to Embarcadero, where we could catch BART to the Oakland Coliseum or whatever it is called now. (For the record, I am a Giants fan, but David likes the A’s. Since both of us are good sports, we go to both teams’ games. Apparently, this is a no-no in the Bay Area. Too bad!)

So anyway, apparently, we picked the wrong weekend to use public transportation. Not only was it Gay Pride Weekend, but the Vans Warped Tour was also going on. The T was positively packed with drunk, sunburned people.

Even though the train was crowded, a woman in her tiny shorts, halter top and stripper heels decided to treat the handrail like a stripper pole. She lifted herself up and swung her leg over the railing, hanging upside down.

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A short, angry discussion of taxes on the 30-Stockton

IMGP0915.jpg
Photo by Flickr user happy bachelor

This delightful tale came to our inbox from Muni rider Andrew …

It wasn’t so fun at the time, now that I think of it, but it’s funny in retrospect.

My girlfriend and I are regular 30-Stockton riders, from North Point & Hyde to Sutter & Stockton. As you may know, the 30-Stockton is a risk-life-and-limb kind of line (especially around 8:30am) but we were lucky enough after work last week to find ourselves on a relatively empty outbound 30 where we could safely sit in the far-back facing-inward seats without worrying about cans shuffling or random bowel movements.

Boarding with us were two young gentlemen, one of fifteen years (or so he later said) and one in his mid-twenties. The younger sat in the set of facing-inward seats across the aisle, while the other sat close to the back door.  And no sooner had we cleared the tunnel when the fifteen-year-old pulls a quarter out of his pocket and begins scrawling Heaven-knows-what into his plastic seat back.

My girlfriend, not one to take vandalism figuratively sitting down, shouts, “Hey, kid, cut that out!”

No response.

“Hey! STOP.”

Now he looks up. “Hey, I can do what I want.” (yes, this is the most stereotypical teenager phrase ever. I wanted to say, “really? So I can rip your ass a second hole because I WANT to?” But he was a minor, and should a police report get filed, I wanted to keep my mentions of his ass to a minimum.)

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Cable Car Confessions #11: Top 10 Manners


Time for the June 2009 edition of Cable Car Confessions. This month, Laura shares 10 common-sense etiquette rules for the cable car, some of which apply to all Muni vehicles. Pay attention, riders!

Ding ding all aboard. “Next stop Powell Street Chinatown. Tickets please show me your tickets please.” The locals know the following 10 ten list of manners and etiquette on the cable car. Some I agree with and others I try to remember to follow. Either way, riding the cable car is my favorite method of public transportation. Wouldn’t it be yours if you lived in San Francisco?

I have some questions for the woman I saw applying her mascara the other day, during rush hour on the cable car. Does she know that there are some spoken and unspoken manners and etiquette rules? My cable car confession to you is that I wish I knew some of the items on this list before I started riding the cable car. It was a lot of fun learning them though. (Click here to get all caught up with the other cable car confessions.)

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