NYC subway masturbator takes load of public shame

Consider yourself warned, NYC subway masturbators.

One lady — my hero — has no time for in-transit self love. Among other vicious, verbal lashings contained in the video above, she asks (rightly): “Sitting here rubbing on your penis, are you serious?”

Watch the whole damn thing. Over and over again.

Public masturbation is absolutely no bigs to some folks, and sometimes, people are cool with that. Sometimes they’re not, and the police will come looking for your ass: Like when the so-called Muni Humper went around rubbing his bits on ladies on the N-Judah.

So, keep it together, folks. As Muni Diaries Live alum Tara De Moulin put it so eloquently to song:

Creepy guy’s crotch just brushed my side

For the 27th time

Hey, it’s not that bumpy a ride

Get a magazine if you’re horny


Video: SF native Yayne Abeba shares Muni life lessons

Did you know there was a movie theater on 17th Ave. and Geary that used to play lots of children’s films? That was just one of the destinations that this Muni Diaries Live storyteller would see on her Muni journeys growing up in San Francisco. Comedian and native San Franciscan Yayne Abeba started riding Muni by herself when she was 7, along with all her relatives ages 1 to 6.

“Muni was our baby sitter, and I learned a lot of life lessons on it,” she says. As a child, you could find Yayne dancing and singing her way around San Francisco with the San Francisco Children’s Opera. In 1995, she began studying with Jean Shelton at the Jean Shelton actor’s lab. She was bitten by the comedy bug in 1999 at Tony Spark’s Luggage Store.
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Updates: Man disrobes, reenacts Red Hot Chili Peppers photo on the 1-California

Image by KTVU via SF Weekly

Update (6:21 p.m., Friday): Dude didn’t limit himself to the 1-California. He appears to be on a mission, expanding to the 47-Van Ness and 38-Geary, at least. He appears to be on a mission, however ballsy (literally!):

Muni rider Rebecca: “Never a dull moment #living in #SF. My morning #treat on #SFMUNI #BusLine47 Van Ness. All he had was a #sock on his #penis and #shoes!”

And Muni driver Josh says, “This dude rode on my 38 Geary bus yesterday…”

Original: Riders on the 1-California bus yesterday afternoon got to know one of their fellow passengers far better than they wanted to when the man stripped naked and put a sock over his penis.

According to SF Weekly’s The Snitch, the Muni driver stopped the bus and demanded that the man put his clothes back. The man refused, and police were called. Passengers boarded another bus after a delay of about an hour. The 19-year-old man eventually put his clothes back on and was not arrested.

KTVU has NSFW footage of the incident showing the scantily clad fellow waving, posing for onlookers and explaining why nothing he did was illegal. It’s true what they say: The best-looking Muni riders, ponytail and penis socks included, can be found on the 1-California.

6 things people are doing on Muni

Photo by Frank Farm

Isn’t it nice knowing what’s going on not only on your bus, but on buses all over San Francisco? We think so, too. This week’s faves:

  1. Completely topless woman on 22 Fillmore bus.
  2. Is this guy really doing lines of coke on the K/T at 8 am @sfmta_muni? #onlyinsf
  3. Putting on highly scented lotion while riding the public bus is an act of war. #talesfromthe49 #munidiaries
  4. Thx for not talking on yr phone on the bus but letting your dumb ringtone chime for 5 mins is just as annoying. #Muni
  5. “Hey Jenny.” “I’m not Jenny.” Best muni interaction so far. #SFMuni
  6. This guy across from me on #sfmuni is offering to show people his penis. Now he’s sad that no one wants to see it

The above were reported by @unfazedinsf, @WellDressedGene, @rachelshpionka, @Carlbear95, @forsoothdragons, and @Ajaxify. What’s happening on your Muni? Tell us @munidiaries.

See Muni Diaries Live!

Twice a year, we bring you Muni stories live on stage in San Francisco. Our stellar storytellers spin tales from the bus, just like we do on the site, on the internets, and IRL, day in and day out. If you want to be in the lineup for the next Muni Diaries Live please contact us at In the meantime, […]

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