Your place to share stories on and off the bus.
Over at Muni Diaries, we just posted our first Muni Craigslist Missed Connection ad of the week. And this morning on Twitter, I found this hilarious movie via @Caitomalley.
This was filmed in the LA subways (should have done it in SF, guys!), with Doug Mand (30 Rock), Ellie Kemper (The Office), and Dan Gregor. Awesome man-fight at 1:40. “So poignant!”
Photo by Flickr user frantikgirl
I think the old adage about full moons bringing the crazies out is not true in San Francisco — I think the heat brings them out. So this morning’s sunny skies meant something good would be happening on the 45.
Once we dropped off all the Marina girls and the old ladies on Market Street and headed toward SOMA I noticed what appeared to be a late middle-aged man with a cane and a bible. Now, in most places, a bible is not necessarily a sign that you’re crazy, but on Muni a bible might as well be a straitjacket. Almost immediately he starts yelling really loudly, spit flying.
“Read your bibles, you’re all going to hell. Too much sex, read your bible. Only Jesus will survive the tsunami and save you from hell, it’s in the bible. Stop gay marriage, read your bible. Your generation is going to hell, read the bible.”
Most of the bus just ignores Angry Bible Guy, but this woman (who didn’t look quite all there) gets up and gets right in his face yelling, “Who are you to be telling us to read the bible, maybe you’re going to hell.”
Angry Bible Guy responds, “Act like a woman, read the bible.”
To which she tells him, “Act like a man, I bet you have a small pecker.”
Then they just start simultaneously screaming at one another until you can’t understand anything but him screaming, “Read your bible” and her imitating an ape with sound effects and a little ape dance.
Finally, the bus driver comes over the loud speaker, “Sir, Lady, you need to keep it down. Pipe down back there.” The screaming continued as I got off the bus. Oh, Lord, lease don’t let it get much hotter, I may have to take a cab.
Photo by Flickr user An Unreliable Witness
SF Weekly‘s Joe Eskenazi calls the BART transportation administrative specialist (read: lost-and-found clerk) to see what kinds of interesting things people leave on the train. He gets quite a list, including, not least of all, prosthetic limbs.
The following came to our inbox from BART rider Mac:
For anyone who didn’t know (me included), you can follow dispatches from BART’s “virtual water cooler” on Twitter. (I took this photo on BART on Sunday.) The great thing about Twitter is how confusing it has been for so many people. And in tech-savvy Bay Area, it’s just not okay to admit to not getting it. Which is what makes this ad so great. It throws gasoline on the Twitter confusion fire. What do young girls dressed in feather boas and bunny ears or shiny silver robot bustiers (or is it a corset?) have to do with riding the subway? Awww, come on guys. It’s so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course. It’s all about ball bearings these days. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads, and start tweeting. The Playboy bunnies and pleasure bots will be here any minute.
Muni rider Jessica tells the following tale:
I’m a usual N Judah rider to and from work during the week. However, one night last week I decided to go to a spin class at a different gym on Van Ness, thus leaving me 1 of few options by taking the 49 to get back home afterwards.
Just the thought of riding this bus at night made me incredibly paranoid. I found myself constantly checking around for the crazy man who stabbed the 11yo boy last week. Despite the fact that I knew the driver would not attempt to save my life in any dangerous/traumatic/life-threatening situation, I decided to sit near the front for my own contentment. During my initial scan of the people around me I noticed a blind man seated with a service dog. He had his cell phone in his hand and was sitting patiently (and probably also hoping he could get the hell off this bus as soon as possible).
There was a lady sitting perpendicular to him (in those single seats that always get first dibs since they isolate riders from sitting next to any creeps). She was rocking a sweet 80s-esque ponytail with sweatband and smelled like she had just bathed in steak fajitas. She noticed the blind guy had a cell phone and asked him if she could use it.
He said “well I’m a nice guy, but I don’t usually lend out my phone. Is it an absolute emergency?”
“Yeah,” she said lethargically.
I could tell he really didn’t want to let her use the phone, but now felt obligated and handed it over. At first, I thought she was going to try to steal it from him because he was blind. Instead she dialed a number and started talking in Spanish to the person on the other end. I speak Spanish and was trying to hear what she was saying about this emergency, but she was mumbling so much that I couldn’t understand. She continued chatting (yes, just chatting away) about her so-called emergency the entire ride. I was really tempted to go over to her and tell her how rude this was- what if he has pre-paid minutes! The guy did you a favor lady, don’t take complete advantage of him!
The blind guy looked miserable and it was obvious that he regretted his decision to be a nice guy. I was secretly hoping he would reprimand on this chick and snatch his phone back, but I’ll never know. About 7 minutes into her emergency phone call (I kid you not!) I had to get off at my stop. I don’t know how it all ended, but I would like to think that the dog pissed on her feet or something comparably satisfying.
Seen anyone else totally disregard all social norms and take advantage of another rider? If you’ve got any kind of Muni story to tell, this is the place: muni.diaries.sf@gmail.com
Photo by Flickr user reminisced content
Am I the only one who’s ever wondered how often people sitting at the front of the bus stand up to offer their seat to a pregnant woman, only to realize she’s just overweight?
Had that thought while riding the 22 the other day. Then felt like a terrible person for having aforementioned thought.
What “evil” thoughts have you had on Muni lately? Comments, please.