Muni Mind Reader: The Drunkard

Bay to BreakersMuni Mind Reader is back, y’all! After a one-week hiatus (she refuses to disclose her where- and whatabouts, as any true mental maven would), Tiffany is back, and in high fashion. This week, she takes us down, around, over, and through the sloshy synapses of … the drunkard.

Wahoooooooooooo!!! Nothing like a killer happy hour to get things rocking and rolling. Am I right? You! Yes, you right there. Yes! You have got to be able to see me. I’m sitting directly across from you. Helloooo!!!. C’mon buddy, I’m wasted, but I’m certainly not invisible. WE WON’T BE INVISIBLE!! Oh, wait, that’s “invincible.” WE WON’T BE INVINCIBLE. Gimme five if you like Pat Benatar. Anyone? GIVE THE BOY HIS SCOOTER BACK!

Oh man! What a crazy afternoon. Lay-offs suck, but the parties sure are killer. I thought about driving, but then I realized I left my keys in Jackie’s purse, so that’s no good. So then it was like TAXI! And then as if Muni were reading my mind, out of thin air appears a 30-Stockton. Suh-weeeeeeeeeeeet! You can’t get much luckier than that. Well, I guess I could get much luckier, but that’s later tonight, am I right? Heh, geez people, where is your sense of humor?

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San Francisco = Springfield?

homer4

This humorous little anecdote arrived in our inbox yesterday from reader Joe:

About 8 years ago, my wife and I were on either the 14 or 49, going from the Mission to the Metreon to see a movie. I think it was a Sunday morning, because the bus was very empty – fewer than 20 passengers the whole trip. At the front of the bus was a mother and her developmentally disabled son. The entire trip, he was talking to himself – nothing crazy, really, just normal stuff. When they got to their stop, the kid turned to the entire bus and yelled, “So long, stink-town! That’s Homer Simpson!”

My wife and I just about fell over laughing – we had just seen the episode of the Simpsons in which Homer says that line.  I guess the kid had, too…

If you’ve had funnies happen in front of your eyes on Muni, let us know.

Is it hard to show courtesy to others these days?

An actually clean back of a muni bus
Photo by Flickr user moppet65535

Originally written on Wednesday, September 10, 2008. From the Muni Diaries submissions inbox:

It seems like every time I am on the bus and it becomes crowded, I notice this one thing: Everyone expects for someone else to do what they’re told to do, rather than being initiators and following suit with orders. Recently, the buses have been installed with “new” bus announcements, telling people to “move to the back of the bus for others’ convenience” and also to “clear the front seats for seniors and disabled persons.” I know the bus drivers are able to press these buttons when they need to, because I hear these announcements only when the situations arise.

But unfortunately, nobody else seems to pay attention to them. People stand in the doorways, in the front of the bus, trying to ignore the announcements about moving to the rear of the bus so others could board. Is it so hard to show courtesy? Does it make THAT much of a difference of where you are standing?

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Muni Mind Reader is on vacation

road to vacation
Photo by Flickr user m o d e

Perhaps she’s in some other town, riding its public transit and acting like The Tourist? Either way, Tiffany’s not around this week. All that thought-penetration (ha!) took its toll, and we gave her the week off. Check back next Friday, though, when the Muni Mind Reader will be right back at it, spilling forth all the delicious and disgusting mind-conversations of her next subject.

Arguments between the old San Franciscans…

From the Muni Diaries submissions inbox:

Friday, July 25, 2008

A scene on the bus today after work–

Old man: “People have no right to be cruel to the bus driver. The bus drivers work very hard. You need to show some respect to them.”
Old lady: “Uh huh, okay, okay…” (not really listening)
Old man: “That’s right, people shouldn’t flag down the bus driver and expect for him or her to wait for them; show some respect. Some people are so rude.”
Old lady: “Okay…” (shakes her head “no” and waves the guy down to make him stop talking)
Old man: “Oh yeah? Well same to you! It’s people like you who are not natives to San Francisco that make the city bad!”
Old lady: “Oh, YEAH? Well, I’VE LIVED IN SAN FRANCISCO FOR 50 YEARS NOW, I am not an immigrant!”
Old man: “Well I’ve lived here for 75 years, so you shut your trap. All these immigrants need to just go home.”

You people and your newspapers and your sense of entitlement…

the 33 ride home
Photo by Flickr user messtiza

I’m going to get a lot of hate mail for this one, especially since I’m also the person who hates disabled people with casts, as well as small, innocent children on field trips.

It’s really kind of funny. Twenty-somethin’ gal with her BlackBerry and her text messaging and her internets. Older gentleman with his morning newspaper. Odd-couple comedy in the making!

So this man gets on the bus and grabs a seat next to me in a disabled section crowded with fellow commuters. I check to make sure there aren’t other older or pregnant folks trying to nab a seat, then get back to my internets. The gent opens his newspaper (the San Francisco Examiner, which I used to write for) and extends one side of it and his arm far into my seat/space. I politely say, “Excuse me,” and, thinking the issue is over, am actually surprised when he, clearly affronted, wants to know what I was excusing-me for.

Hmm, OK. I note as politely and even-voicedly (though also kind of flustered and surprised) as I can that his newspaper is in my space, and that if he could just fold up a bit more, that would be great. As easy as it could be to tell him he needed to back the F up, I first incorrectly said (who knew I’d actually have to explain it) his paper was touching me. OK (calm vibes), I guess it’s not exactly touching me, but it’s hovering over my lap, and I’m personally folded up as much as I can be, you know? I happen to agree with the fine etiquette ladies at Muni Manners, who noted in a post about this very phenomenon that folding your newspaper to lessen your impact, but still get your news, is the safe and courteous thing to do for all. Read more

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