Tag: best-of-muni-diaries

Try body-shaming someone on Muni and the whole bus will stand up for you

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You know all the witty comebacks that you wish you could have said in an argument, ones that only become clear to you after it’s all over? Muni rider Cynthia Pollock doesn’t have that kind of FOMO. In fact, in this morning Muni fight, she said everything we wish we could say.

From Cynthia:

‪Morning Muni altercation. A woman said she thought it was hot on the bus, and this guy said maybe if you lose some weight you wouldn’t be so hot. A bunch of women sitting nearby said something, but I went off.

I wasn’t going to hear some body-shaming misogynistic asshole making someone feel bad. Not first thing in the morning. Not on Muni. And for damn sure not on one of my home lines.

I told the bus driver on him. Then he says, you probably voted for Hillary.

And then it was on.

I was like if you don’t like progressives you can take your effing Trump voting asshole self somewhere else. I screamed at him with everything I had until I got off at my stop.

And then, probably not my best final comment, but I ended with a triumphant “I hope you get kicked off the bus.” Because, transit nerd.

How’s that for no-FOMO argument? Cynthia was also a performer at the last Muni Diaries Live, where she and her husband Jeremy re-enacted their now-famous Muni crow incident. It looks like in addition to being the “crow lady on Muni,” Cynthia can now add “Not on my home line” to her title!

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Photo by @sarakking.

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs Tags:

Dude crushes a box of Franzia on Muni

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wine_chugging

My favorite part? This is actually our second post about a thirsty foot soldier crushing box wine on Muni. If box wine isn’t your thing, we’re also serving photos of an 8 a.m. beer and a cracked open 12-pack to take the Muni Metro edge off. If only the 77X-Candlestick—aboard which everyone went, “la la la can’t hear you” regarding pesky open-container laws—was still around, right?

Via Muni rider clowntraps, who says, “This guy was making the most of his Saturday afternoon, crushing a box of Franzia on the train.”

Category: Story Archive, WTF: Weirdness on Muni Tags:

Dad: Sorry my son puked on you on Muni

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j-church

Say what you will about kids and their parents on public transit, this story might change your mind. Muni rider Nicolas wrote us this public apology:

Fellow J riders:

I’m so sorry. My 4-year old son projectile vomited on some of you at about 8:30 on February 3. We were inbound into Van Ness station, me standing, him on my left arm. No, I don’t normally hold 40-lb people but, as you heard, he was whining so I picked him up to comfort him and also to make your ride less unpleasant. You’re welcome. But I guess whining “I’m not going to make it” didn’t mean what I thought it meant.

The doors were seconds away from opening when he coughed. Well…it seemed like a cough. But there was stealth vomit behind the cough. The brunt of it landed on me (glasses, cheek, shirt, jacket, bag). If normal, it would have dribbled onto only me, but being the projectile variety, you folks within 2 feet got sprayed. I’m sorry.

I wish I could have apologized more but the doors were open by the time it landed.

But I did have a moment to look around to assess the damage.

I noticed you, Nicely Dressed Work Guy, sitting next to us with splatters of partially digested Eggo pancakes on your thighs. You smiled and said, “It’s okay. It’s okay.” Not polite but real genuine like maybe you’d been down this road before. Are you a dad? Just a nice guy? If you are not a dad, you should be. You’ve got the patience and sense of humor for it. Adopt or impregnate someone ASAP. Maybe we can be references for you on your Ok Cupid profile? (I’ve been married forever. Do people still use Ok Cupid? Either way, let us know. We will make you look good with prospects. We’d offer to vouch in person, but you probably don’t trust us now.)

I don’t know what I would have done if we had more time with you, victims of vomit. Offer to pay for dry cleaning? Buy you a drink? My son’s name is Seiji. He is good at making Ninja Turtle masks out of tin foil. Maybe you’d like some? If you see us again, let us know.

Until then, sorry,
Seiji’s Dad

On behalf of Muni Diaries, Seiji’s dad, we forgive you.

Photo by Transit Nerds

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs, Story Archive Tags: ,

The story behind the 1980 Muni Metro Party

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We recently heard from Ken Maley, who helped organize the Muni Metro party we posted about in the summer of 2011. Here’s what Ken had to say about the planning and preparation for that party, which we’re bummed to have missed (hey! We were kids at that time, too!)

The late Jim Rivaldo, Dick Pabich, and I had lobbied Muni in 1979 to name the Castro Station after Harvey Milk. Harvey was a big supporter of Muni/public transportation. Muni told us stations weren’t named after people, but did agree to our alternative suggestion, which was the Harvey Milk Plaza and an event in the new stations.

A Harvey Milk Fund had been set up and when I learned that the Muni Metro was set to open in May/June 1980, I had the idea of having a party in the Castro station as a benefit for the MIlk Fund. Muni was very cooperative, and when they took me into the station, I realized that it would be too expensive–and unrealistic given that the system was to open the next morning after the event, to install a cover over the rails between the IN and OUTBOUND platforms. One of the Muni staff said I should use a station that had a center loading platform and the first one up the line was Van Ness station.

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Category: Aww: Cute on Muni, Story Archive Tags: ,

“Sorry About the Dog Shit Thing on Muni This Morning”

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Photo by randychiu

@thrifteye found a very sincere letter from a passenger on Muni via Craigslist.

Sorry for smelling like dog shit on the bus – m4w – 25 (financial district)

Date: 2012-07-19, 9:39AM PDT

To everybody that was riding the 2 (or was it the 3?) bus inbound to the Financial District on Thursday, July 19 (around 8:30 a.m.)

I sincerely apologize for potentially getting dog shit on you. It wasn’t my intention.

Let me explain: I walked to the bus stop, like I do every morning. Typically, my eyes are focused on avoiding bikers and homeless people.Now, I know that I must add shit to this list, because apparently, I stepped in it.

When I sat down on the bus, I crossed my legs, like I usually do. When people cross their legs, the bottom of their shoes usually touches their pants leg. It’s only natural, you guys. Unfortunately, on this day, the bottom of my shoe had shit on it.

To the pretty blonde girl I was sitting next to: I think I might have gotten some of the poo on ya. Sorry about that.

To the guy on the other side in the Yankees hat: I might have gotten doo-doo on you too. Again, my sincere apologies.

To everybody else on the bus, let’s be clear- I did not shit myself. I see a lot of you every morning and would appreciate it if I wasn’t known as “the guy that might have shit himself that one morning.”

And lastly, to whoever let their dog take a dump on the sidewalk without cleaning it up- F you, buddy.

Category: Funny: Muni LOLs, Story Archive Tags: , ,
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