SNL’s Stefon describes Muni’s hottest line


Okay, not really. That’s a misleading headline. On purpose.

But this bit of amazing landed in our submissions box recently, and had me smiling ear-to-ear.

Take it away, Matty:

I had a conversation with a friend not too long ago about the best way I’ve found to make riding Muni tolerable, especially during rush hour when it’s crazy packed with all of God’s forgotten children. Just look around and narrate in your head what’s happening as if it was a Stefon skit from SNL:
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Attack of the Grape Turd


First rule of riding Muni: that’s not water on the seat. Here’s another important lesson, especially if you’re a newbie on Muni this week during the BART strike, as Muni rider D reports:

So I was headed home on an inboud 38L yesterday that was *extremely* crowded. As I made my way to the back I saw an open single seat and made my way over. Curiously, no one was willing to sit in it. On closer inspection I saw just *why* no one was grabbing such a coveted seat.

At first I thought that someone had somehow left a tiny turd but on a better look, I saw that it was nothing more than a squashed grape.

Ah, for the want of a napkin….

What happened on your commute today? Share it with your fellow riders!

Top Five Muni Moments of the Week

muni rider by patrick o
Photo by Patrick O

This week we find out that Murphy’s Law dictates maximum embarrassment when you are caught without your fare. Here are your top five big Muni moments of the week!

1. Driver (over the intercom, as two guys board the train with fishing poles): “I wanna go fishin with y’all!”

2. Best excuse we’ve heard on Muni so far: Man outside to Muni driver: “I just got out of jail man, let me on the bus.”

3. Rider Matt smelled durian on the 29 and hoped that the owner of this tropical treat will share the wealth. We think Matt might be the only one wishing for durian on the bus, though.

4. Nutrition lesson overheard on the 38L: Mom holding cow doll: “What do cows eat?” Child: “Pizza!” Mom: I don’t know. Pizza is heavily processed.”

5. There’s no shame worse than not paying your fare and being escorted off by Muni Police in front of all the babes. Lesson learned.

This week’s Muni moments feature @jawanzadbl, @sallypinata, @medium_matt, @xxriabellaxx, and @laurent4508. Got your own Muni moment? Tweet it to us at @munidiaries!

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